love is just an illusion?

Question

all you people who believe in true love are wrong.love is just an illusion.i dont believe in it.

Answer 1

Happiness is an illusion. The feeling that 'everything is all right' or 'everything is okay' is an illusion. Suffering is something real. Death is something real.

But the most perplexing question why do I say so? Am I cynical about life?

Not really. I believe that as long as happiness or sadness is the result of perception, I am forced to conclude both are illusions. Because nothing can be perceived to unravel its true meaning/nature. If you see a rock, you know it is a rock. Why? Because you've probably heard it somewhere. Or I'd say that the tradition or the existence of language has assigned a meaning to it. You know what a rock is if someone mentions the word.

But suppose if a material called 'rock' never existed and you happened to spot it - what would you call it? It may seem like something alien. But the fact is you don't know what it is. Assuming that you are telling your friends about this alien discovery; also assuming that we are intelligent beings - we have developed language skills and are capable of communicating - how would you put across you alien discovery to your friend. You'd call it some name (it needn't be a rock, but for name sake let us use that name).

This way the "rock" is just your perception of that alien thing you've discovered.

Now lets look at happiness or sadness...

Happiness: you are happy when you know something is perfect for you. You've plenty of food in your shelter to survive the whole winter; you are happy! What if you didn't have enough food? You'd be sad. Why? Because you know you'd starve. Starvation is something real - it is far from an illusion. It hurts or causes discomfort to your normal existence. Why can't you simply be sad about having a lot of food reserves? Why can't you be so happy about starvating with out food?

So can you argue that happiness or sadness is an illusion? Not quite. A normal person is happy about happy things; he or she is sad about sad things. These sad things are something that are usually related to suffering. Happiness is the opposite: the perception that suffering does not exist. At the moment I don't know why happy things are perceived as happy things, and not as sad things, or vice versa. But I assume that that line of argument is unnecessary. Maybe it has to do with some evolutionary reason.

But as long as these two things are perceptions about the presence or absence of suffering, you can conclude they are illusions. Then why is it necessary for us to be happy or sad? That again is something to do evolution.

So far I believe I have made you realise that happiness or sadness can be construed as an illusion. You must take it for granted that suffering is not an illusion. Pain is not an illusion. It may be thought of as a response to escape to saftey or as a response to aviod suffering. But suffering is pretty much real, and not an illusion.

Now what is love?

There are different kinds of love. Patriotism, maternal love, respect, platonic love etc. Since this is a section about dating, I guess it is correct to be speaking about intimate love. Love that unites two people. How is this an illusion? Well, without love, what would you be suffering from? Loneliness?

Then what is loneliness? How is it likened to suffering? How is it perceived as some form suffering? I suppose this is an evolutionary construct again. Human beings are social animals. If human beings existed in isolation we would have probably ended up fighting for resources, and finally become extinct. But how does love come to solve the problem? It didn't. It was probably something got naturally selected; and that trait survived! Sounds like pure co-incidence. Strange.

Another thing to note: everything on this earth wants to expand its gene pool. This would mean that you'd want to have as many children as possible with as many wives (females) you can. (Assuming you are a male being). But human beings don't live like that anymore. Why? Because we have civilized. And that again adds another construct to the whole picture. I'll let you do the homework on that...

You can imagine "love" and "the tendency for an organism to expand it gene pool" as two different programs that were naturally selected. I guess this is the most probable reason these programs exist even today in most of the species.

If you can prove love results in happiness (which is an illusion) then, yes, it is an illusion. But how are love and happiness related? Again its due to some evolutionary reason. However, this one is kind of philosophic. The gene pool expansion program can be likened to happiness. It is simple to think of it this way: the more the off spring that carry your trait in the environment, the better are the chances to live. This was what life was probably like a long long time ago. But it resulted in something opposite: off springs attacking the parent due to various reasons - could be resource, could be territory, etc. Now the program called "love" could have had its beginnings in this kind of environment. To be exact, it would not be a beginning of the program. Rather the program called "love" must have got evolved to somehow maintain terms with the environment that got chaotic. Again there could have been a lot of programs called love. One or more programs could have got naturally selected and consequently survived.

This could be the reason why different forms of love exist.

We are concerned with intimate love however; the most obvious reason why two people date, mate and have a life of their own (not to sound cynical though). This form of intimate love supports the "gene expansion" program, which I believe is prevalent even today although its effect may not be all that apparent. And that program makes us have "off springs". Having off springs is an evloutionarily good thing, I guess. :)

This again would suggest the illusion of happiness - a different form of happiness - love.


This form of argumentation is not to brain wash anyone into thinking 'life is this' or 'life is that'. Life is ultimatley how you are going perceive it. I don't want people knocking at my door and asking me is life an illusion.

Life just is... (whatever "it" is)

Answer 2

Well love is out there and even though you dont believe in it, it will find you. All you have to do is (no I will not say believe!) flirt around or find a girl (or guy which ever way you go) that is perfect for you!

Answer 3

Nice QUESTION. You don't believe in ever-lasting love, love at first sight or soulmates. Because they are indeed different. I don't believe in love at first sight, I'm on the fence about soulmates, but I believe with more effort on both sides any love can endure time. That's my take. I'm not saying it's Hollywood. But it's something you don't get a chance everyday.

Good luck being proved wrong.

Answer 4

You really do believe in it, Mark, or you wouldn't have wasted your time writing that comment. You're having a hard time with love now , huh? Love hurts sometimes, that's for sure. Hang in there.

Answer 5

What u call love is actually a physical itch!
True love is selfless,and saintly people love God this way,as well as good mothers...There are also true lovers,but rare...

How to love God?

look at http://krishna.com

Answer 6

is it because you've never been in love that you dont beileve it. if so you have no authority to talk aout it like that. i myself am very much in love and believe me its no illusion. stop being so bitter

Answer 7

You tell 'em. All love does is distract you from what's really important. It gives you the false impression that you shouldn't be in charge of your personal fulfillment.

Answer 8

love is everywhere. not just in people. you must have a hobbie, a pet, or some item that you love. what about your family? you know you love them

Answer 9

Last time I checked it was emotion

Answer 10

thank you every one says im the only one who fell that way