How do I tell my brother to take care of his kid?

Question

If you have read my recent questions.. you will understand. In a nutshell my brother and his wife leave there daughter at my mom's house so she can take care of my niece. His excuse is his wife is tired and cannot take care of there daughter..his wife does not work, she just stays home. My mom tells him she is tired too.. for good reason (she works nights and isnt able to get good rest because she is taking care of my niece).. My niece broke her glasses which she needs to wear at all times..this was about 2 months ago.. still no new glasses..even her school teacher has had a conference with my mom because she needs her glasses, she cannot see. Anyway my mom asked if I could talk some sense into him, make him see what he is doing to his child by neglecting her..make him see that his mother cannot continue doing this and his wife needs to step up, be a parent. How can I go about doing this without sounding like a b****? We're not close so having a conversation will be a first

By the way he is 29, I am 22.

What is even worse is he knows my mom would feel too guilty to say no to him.. he takes advantage of that. My mom washes his and his wifes clothes, AND makes them dinner (he comes daily to pick up a meal for him and his wife who apparently is too tired to cook or do laundry)

Answer 1

I don't want to come off saying something wrong. I really think that your mom should also talk to him to.Your mom should explain that she is the one who works nights and needs to sleep during the day. That she is done raising her children and that she should not have to raise her granddaughter.
In a way it sounds like your sister in law is lazy.You should also tell her that being a mom you are expected to get tired and drink some extra caffeine .
You should also tell your brother that his daughter really needs these glasses and in a way that is considered child abuse because she needs them to see. The teacher could report it if she wanted to. It happened to my mom. You should also suggest just to be nice that if they need help getting her the glasses that you and your mom might be willing to help.
Just when you talk to them you don't want to sound to harsh and make them out to be the worst parents in the world. Good luck!

Answer 2

My close friend was in a somewhat similar situation. She decided to go the b**ch route and basically told them to take care of their child or she would call child welfare on them. In the meantime, your mom needs to quit making the situation worse by constantly carrying them (taking care of the kid, cooking, washing, etc.). She needs to put her foot down and tell them she loves the child but she is not the parent - she is the grandparent. It will only get harder before it gets easier and I think if you all give them some tough love they might be able to pull themselves together. If not, call child welfare and let them deal with them. Some people have to learn the hard way!

Answer 3

it looks as if your brother is acting like a real jerk it clearly shows that he isn't ready for a family as yet and he is also irresponsible tell that so call wife of his that she needs to start acting like a real woman and take care of her child because brought her into this world not Ur mother on the other hand ur mother should be res ting not taking care of some irresponsible woman's child and I'm sorry to say this but if u have to sound like b**** to get what needs to be done then do it

Answer 4

Thats BS, what hes doing. If his wife doesn't work what the hell does she do all day? Have your Mother make a copy of her schedule, Make him see the hours she works. Hell they are old enough to have a kid they are old enough to take care of thier own kid. People like that make me mad. You also have to be srue they are not going out drinking or doing anythign else to affect them having thier child. Its jsut not right what they are doing, every once in a while is fine but to do it so often, no they need to grow up.

Answer 5

i would start out by saying that you know that he loves his daughter but that lately you think that he is neglecting her. that she needs new glasses and that your mother needs her rest now and his wife should be doing something with there child. there really is no reason to say it gently you should just go right out and say it

Answer 6

YOUR MOTHER is the one who needs to tell her son she is being taken advantage of .

As long as YOUR MOTHER is washing his clothes, watching his child, etc, I would believe that she wants to do these things.

Have the conversation with your mom, not your brother, FIRST.

Answer 7

let yo brother do what he won't he ain't gone listen to u