ok my boyfriends son who is 9 lives with his mom(its not a good place for him, but boyfriend cant get custody of him cuz of no job and going to college) my question is why he acts like two different people. for example he was over thursday to today and he was having a great time and last night he had friends over and it was fine but we told him no on a scary movie that was killing for no reason and he was mad and then in the morning he wouldnt talk to us even when i was sitting at the table with them eating breakfeast then the friends had to go home and as soon as the boys had to go he was like can i call my mom so he called to see if she was home and she was and he set the phone down and walked away and as he was walking away i asked him to come back i needed to ask something and he said shes home and continued walking away and i went to his room and asked him if he was walking home or wanted a ride cuz his mom lives just down the street. and he said his mom was coming to get him.
2007-01-07 07:03:17 · 3 answers · asked by marynew8 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my question is why is he so nice the whole time we have him and when he gets told no or when he has to clean his room or read or homework why does he give attuide and hates us and doesnt call for weeks what can my boyfriend do. the only reason he doesnt and hasnt had custody of him is cuz he was in the navy for 6 yrs and then unemployed and then going to school and they wont give him custody
2007-01-07 07:05:49 · update #1
yes it would be great if mom and dad could carry same rules but mom has no rules at her house never tells him no and he does what he wants. when hes over and wants to call mom we cant so no cuz then the dad would get into trobible cuz he has no custody rights.
2007-01-07 08:11:08 · update #2
and his mom will sit down with us and say this and this and we will set guidelines to carry to both houses but she doesnt follow them. shes never home the boys always there with his 10yr old step-bro and step-dad and just runs wild.
2007-01-07 08:13:09 · update #3
Children of that age have no idea of how to deal well with emotions like some adults. When they get angry they are unable to process this information and they become uncommunicative like this boy or else they can show their feelings by exhibiting aggression such as breaking things or temper tantrums. There is probably a lot going on in this little guys head that he just can't figure out yet and all you need to do is give him time. Sit down with him and let him express his feelings. You can come right out and say to him, I can feel that you are upset, then wait for him to talk about it. If you deal with this is a non judgemental way then you may be able to open a line of communication with him that will be invaluable for years to come. He may feel that if he acts in any way that you don't approve that you may withdraw your love for him and he may just be jealous of the fact that you get to spend all them time with his dad and he get very little.
I know that therapy may be out of the question but maybe if you husband talks to the guidance counsellor at the school they can give you some insight into what it is you can do to help him that will benefit all. I wish you luck and I know how difficult it is to try and be their for another person's child. All you can do is to be his friend.
2007-01-07 07:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this is possible, but it would be great if mom and dad (and you if you're going to be doing any of the parenting) could take the same parenting class so this child is getting the same message from everyone.
Bottom line: mom and dad need to communicate and come up with a strategy they're both comfortable with and then consistently use it. They'll also need to talk with each other so this child isn't able to play one against the other.
The motivation is that they both want their child to be happy. Inconsistent parenting = unhappy kids.
2007-01-07 15:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kid is emotionally black mailing you!! you need to sit down with his mother and discuss carry over rules if he is disrespectful to you guys and gets punished it carries over to her house and have a tight schedule when he is w/ you he cant just call and go home when he gets mad etc.. just try to institute some consistency between both homes and I think things will improve
2007-01-07 15:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by sleepy forrest 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋