my family,my aunt and uncle don't talk to my mum and dad.they made up with me but not my parents last september.since then they have tried to brainwash me and tell me lies about my parents.they are also smothering and presssurising me which i don't need as i have been seriously ill of late.
i want to forget them and get on with the people who have brought me up for 21 years but i think bad things will happen to me as i am hurting them.but they say 'they are my parens too' and are spreading lies upon lies about my own mother.
what do i do?
2007-01-07 06:46:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stay away from them. You are not a child. You can open your mouth and tell them to stop talking bad about your parents. And tell them they are NOT your parents. Put them in their place.
2007-01-07 06:50:23 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They aren't your parents, your parents are the ones who brought you up. Unless of course they are! Sounds strange doesn't but a long time ago when it was shameful to have illigitmate children the wider family used to pretend to be the parents, if a girl was too young to bring the child up. In Wales it was often the mother who pretended having a menopausal baby while visiting someone in a distant village with the eldest daughter as a companion. The new baby would then be presented as the mother's and not the daughters. Other family traditions was to give the child to a childless couple within the family. So unless this happened in your family, your love and duty belongs to your parents. Even if they aren't your parents, they brought you up and gave you all of their time and love. Your uncle and aunt should be respected but not sided with against your mother.
Gently tell your uncle and aunt that you love and respect them, but you are no longer willing to hear the bad things they say about your mother. That if they continue to do so, you will regretfully not visit them again. Tis all you can do, I'm sorry.
2007-01-07 14:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by selchiequeen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems to be a big issue and the only person being hurt is you maybe you all need to have a meeting and you tell them all how you feel and that this needs to stop, you love them all but they are grown so it is time to bury the hatchet and stop putting each other down no one they will have to realize that if they all love you and not wanna see you hurt then they all will have to come to an agree ment on things you may have to set the record for them they are only thinking of themselves and forgetting bout you you have to come out and be the grown up for all of them you have to call a family meeting and you do all the talking and make them see that ur being hurt by all this nonsense. It may be hard but you have to start it somewhere since they do not wanna resolve things just go for it and see how it goes. Once they realize what ur saying to them I think they all will do what is right to not hurt you by you keeping in the way you feel about things they are gonna still look at themselves rather than do what is right to make you happy. The only way you will resolve this is to go for it it may feel funny to you but in the end it will be for the best.
2007-01-07 15:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but your Aunt and Uncle are not very nice people, It's all very well them not talking to your mum and dad, but to try and brainwash you into doing the same thing, well that's not very nice in my book.
They sound like they might need to be put on ice for a while until they can see what they are doing is wrong, as for you hurting them, what about them hurting you.
Your old enough to make decisions that concern you and you have the right to talk to whom ever you please, but your parents don't sound like bad people, you haven't said what your parents reaction to all this has been, but I can bet they haven't been bad- mouthing your aunt and uncle, and if that's the case, I would take my lead from that.
2007-01-08 10:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by bty912324 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust your parents then ask them about it. its between them and your aunt and uncle let them get on with it. Sounds like its petty childish tit for tat you could do without. Always love your parents unless you have a reason not to. nothing will happen to you you haven't done anything wrong. Live your life. you cant be piggy in the middle it will make you ill trust me i know.
2007-01-07 14:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by Giggle Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is easy . just love and respect your parents, and tell the aunt and uncle that you love them and want to have a relationship with them, but you would appreciate it if they stop saying bad things about your parents.if they wont, then it is shame on them. and- should you decide to break all ties with them ,noone would blame you. i wonder why 2 adults would do this to someone else .they should know better. what they are doing is wrong
2007-01-07 15:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mums youngest sister tried this on me when i was 23 years old,she told me loads of lies about my mum and how my grand dad had died and how my mum kept all his stuff from her.
She nearly got to me but thankfully my nan(her mother) came to my rescue and sat me down and told me a few home truths about my aunt,like how she was very jealous of my mum and how she felt she had to compete with my mum(even though my aunt was 30 something at the time).
If you have a good relationship with your parents,trust them and although have your ups and downs generally have a good relationship then dont let anyone come between you and your parents.
If your aunt and uncle continue to harrass you and tell you lies about your mum and dad then simply tell them not to bother contacting you again,not to pull your parents down in front of you and certainly not to try and split your family unit.
Stand your ground and go with your heart
2007-01-07 14:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner went throught the same thing, and moved to England from Scotland to get away from it all. He came with nothing, and now has everything, nice home, brilliant job, friends and respect. Maybe you should think of the same
2007-01-07 14:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by A_BIT_BLONDE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget bout the other people you parents are the ones that cared and loved you for all your life. Forget bout your aunt and uncle amd get on with your life and grow up and stop worring bout every little thing
2007-01-07 14:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by saucey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't take sides love ur parents no matter what. also don't feed into the lies. like if they say your mum sells her body just say something like. really in a disinterested tone. they'll stop once they realize it's not affecting you
2007-01-07 14:51:39 · answer #10 · answered by harmony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋