I know this girl on Myspace and I love her very very much. We always have a lot of fun roleplaying and getting to know each other, and we call each other up on the phone a LOT. However, my parents then heard the whole conversation that I had with that girl last night, and we (my parents and I) got into a big argument. I love that girl as much as I love my whole darn family, but this is getting WAY outta hand. I'm turning 21 this year, and I think it is about time I start to learn how to become more independent. How can I convince my folks to let me still talk to the girl without having to break up?
I am from California and she is from Mississippi. If I can put in a little bit of effort into making this relationship without having my parents to bug me, maybe this CAN work.
Note: I am still living under my parents' roof, so I guess I'd have to abide by their rules until my school ends. What do you guys think?
2007-01-07 06:29:14 · 10 answers · asked by Jonathan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes you do have to abide by their rules , but there is this little thing called respect. You are 21 years old and you should be able to have a conversation without anyone listening in. I know that moving may be a hardship but maybe that is what you should look into. And talk to your parents and let them know that you do need your privacy.
2007-01-07 06:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by phoebe m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the girl know that you still live at home? At 21, you should be out on your own. Can't you work and go to school? Get an apartment with a roommate. If you guys are so much in love, why not transfer to a school in Mississippi?
2007-01-07 14:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention whether or not you are attending college or if ypou have a job or if you have any money of your own to support ypourself, so I don't know if you are totally dependant on your parents finacially. In any event, at any age, even when ypou already know a person, (i understand you are in love with her) but I am refering to relationships where people have met each other personally and know each other well, EVEN THEN A LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIP IS VERY STRESSFULL. You also did not mention whether the two of you have actually met. I understadn that with the internet , more and more peopel are connecting and falling in Love through cyber space, but realistically and logically for you to have a real relationship with someone in real time there has to be at least some intent to meet at some point.
What do you want? Wjhat are your plans? Do you intend to move to Mississipp when you leave youparents home (have you & the girl discussed any sort of future? If you are really in Love and plant to be together Physically in the future then I would just try to bide my time perhaps limit your call with the calls to a time when your parents are not at home, surely yhere must be s atiem duirng the day/night that you can visit with her when they are not home, or call her form a friends home or a cell phone.
However if this Love, is more pof a fun thing and oyu haev no real intentions of having a future together I see no reason to alienate your entiore family for a gril that may never even meet.
What exactly did your parents hear? Why are they so upset? was it the content of the conversation or are they angry that you are spending too much money on phone calls or are theyjust completely against the whole internet dating idea? I wish yoiu had given more details. based on the limited details you provided I have no way of knowing whether your rekationship can work with Ms Mississippi, but for now you have to adress the problem you face "in the feace" each day and that is your parents. You need to mend thingsd with then so that your relationship with them is not strained.
I hust read the end again and see that you are in school, that is a plus, at least you will have an education and means to travel to see this girl that you are in Love with. In the meantime I think you need to sit down AND HAVE A CALM ADULT DISCUSSION WITH YOUR PARENTS. yES, i AGREEE THAT TO A CERTAIN EXTENT YOU HAVE TO ABIDE BY THEIR RULES WHIULE LIVING UNDER THEIR ROOF. HOWEVER , you are an adult. you need to explain to your parent as much and ask them to treat you as an adult. You are in school, you are niot a bum just sponging off of them. Ask them to treat you as an adult and to give you more privacy and to respect your privacy. Everyone has to have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Itis my opinion that your parent cannot control who you speak to just becasue they are kind enough to give you Free Lodging does not givve then complete and total control over your private time, they have no right to interfere in your personal relatronships, friendship for that matter, unless you are bringihng peopel into their home that are dangerous etc. I say that as long as you are making your grades, are on target to graduate, do oyur share to help out aroubd the house (AND YOUR PARENTS OFFRED YOU FREE ROOM & BOARD) AS LONG AS YOU ARE NOT DISRUPTING THE HOUSEHOLD they should treat you the same as they would any college aged tenant that they took in and rented a room to. Offer a compromise, tell then you will make less frequent calls, but you must insit that bit invade your privacy.Presumably you computer and your telephone is in oyur bedroom? Make the call and visit with your g/f on line in the privacy of your own room with your door shut (out of ear shot of those who do not approve) you say you want to become more independent, and you also ask how you can convince your parents still talk to this girl w/o having to break up. first of all at the age of 20 your parents cannot require you to break up with anyone, tell them you are an adult. why don't you take on some adult responsibilities to demnstrate this to them. get a part time job as long as it does not interefer with your target graduation date. Start paying a little ren, & saving the rest for a trip to Mississips. Go there meet your dream girl before you make any life long decisons
2007-01-07 15:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by dreamwhip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for one thing you are 21 and I hope this girl is of legal age? If so it is your business who you see etc. Your parents may be overly voicing thier opinions because in case you haven't heard myspace is full of predators both male and female. It is hard to give you a good answer as you never told us what your parents problem with this is.
2007-01-07 14:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by logan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question. If you live in your parents house, you have to live by their rules. When my wife and I got married, we had to show my parents the marriage certificate so that we could sleep in the same room. Dont sweat it. If this girl really likes you she will understand.
2007-01-07 14:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by Rick R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can ever make things work with this girl is to meet her face to face and find out what's she's really like.
You parents are looking out for what is best for you.
2007-01-07 14:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you pretty much answered your OWN question. you live with them, so its their way or....you could consider your own place, until then you need to respect what they tell you. maybe you could arrange something were both families can meet, if you feel that your "relationship" has a future. they also need to respect your decisions as a person.
2007-01-07 14:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude or anything... but don't you think she could be doing the same thing with other guys on myspace?
2007-01-07 14:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by ascanio91 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get your own place! are you gonna move to mississippi? otherwise HOW will this ever be a REAL relationship?
2007-01-07 14:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by how empty of me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
houl move out bc ur 2 and so u dontve ur prents down ur back for talking with girls
2007-01-07 14:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by carebear_destroyer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋