My five year old keeps on asking as he has baby photos with people who have passed on. We are atheists so don't want to fob him off with superstitious nonsense but have been avoiding answering his questions. What do you suggest?
2007-01-07 06:14:47 · 19 answers · asked by albert_rossie 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Before I make an attempt at answering your question, I would first like to point out that atheism is just as much 'superstitious nonsense' as any other form of belief and it is all down to semantics. Everyone focusses on the subject and never the object, i.e. 'belief' itself. When I say that it is down to sematics, what I mean is that generally speaking if you ask a so called religious person, they will say they believe in God. You would say you do not believe in God, but if you just change the sentence structure around a little, you will get this: The religious type does not believe that there isn't a God, whereas you believe there is no God. They are two sides of the same coin and the real question is why do you believe in anything in the first place? Belief implies having formed a conclusion and if that is the case, then you have stopped all enquiry. You basically think that YOU have the answer and it seems an almost impossible thing for a human being to be humble and say "I don't know"; which, after all, is truly the only honest answer anyone can give when confronted with questions about life, death and the mysteries of the universe. As a species we seem unable to admit ignorance and when it comes to the subject of death, it is something no-one can talk about with certainty. All of life falls under the category of 'the known' or 'experience', but where death is concerned we are faced with 'the unknown' and consciously or unconsciously it scares us. The paradox of course is it is the only true certainty of life that everyone must face. The world over we have our separate life experiences, but only in death are we all united.
From a personal point of view (and I'm sure a lot of people will see this as corny) I think you should introduce it gently by making your children aware of the seasons. Show them a tree in springtime and follow it through the course of the year. When it gets to winter, show them the leaves on the ground and how bare the tree is against the bleak winter sky. From there you can talk to them about how people go through a similar change and that that is simply how things are. I would refrain from trying to offer explanations about 'what happens after', because as I have already spoken about, YOU don't know, so why try to pretend to your children? Let them ponder on it for themselves. Remember, as kids, they are less mentally conditioned than us adults, and it will probably be easier on them than it is for us!
2007-01-07 08:40:17 · answer #1 · answered by Oliver T 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a tough one, children have very different views on death compared to adults you say you are an atheist that is your choice but unless you tell your child something someone else eg: school will and they may say people go to heaven. If your son has started asking questions sit him down and explain use an example like the death of a pet.
My son was 5 when we lost his grandfather he was told grandad had gone with the angels, not my choice but he seemed to accept it.
As they get older children will learn death is a natural part of life.
2007-01-07 06:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Carol 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We had a really bad year a couple back, and I had to address this issue with a four year old. I just explained to her that death was the end result of growing up. We all do it one day and although it can be sad, there is nothing we can do but hold on to the memory of the person that passed. Granted I don't think I used that terminology, and frankly I can't remember exactly what I said, but that was the gist of it.
2007-01-07 06:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Children understand about death. They see it and hear it on tv and adults talking baout it. The fact he is asking you questions indicates that he requires a simple answer like " everything lives and everything dies. There are some people who believe in heaven and thats nice, but others that dont and thats ok. when you are older you can make your own mind up"
My mum use to say this and even though my family did not believe in anything I do have spiritual beliefs. I dont think you should press your views on him its up to him when he is older. But just recognising his question and answering it simply will be ok. Things do die - all things even TVs stop working. Thats the circle of life and where they go - som people think heaven and others think other things.
He will decide what he wnats to believe in when he is older
2007-01-07 09:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
my daughter learnt when she was 4 - she had a budgie that died - she wanted to know where it went to - so I told her to look for the brightest star in the sky and then she would see that her bird was looking down on her - we then did the same when people she knew died. She accepted this then and still does as to where people/animals go - there is no reason to change this til she gets older and really begins to understand. she knows that death is a part of life and that eventually everyone/thing dies - she is not big on religion either (and neither am I) so this was the best compromise I found. She is now 8 and still believes this to be true and while this is the case I shall let it be.
2007-01-07 06:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by MoonRose77 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tough one. Tell him what you think is the Truth. I'm a Pagan, married to an Agnostic... when this situation came up I explained death in the physical sense and when asked what happens next, I tried to be honest. I have no idea what happens. My son, at the time, took it very well. He accepted the answer. He was only 7 at the time... he's almost 17 now and Agnostic.
2007-01-07 06:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by Kithy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the shortcoming of life penalty does no longer teach a baby any lesson maximum youthful ones at present were desensitized about lack of life by way of videos and video games or maybe song upload the traditional insurrection of a teen into the blend and also you got a strolling time bomb that doesn't imagine in the previous they pull out their stolen gun and open hearth on the guy that attempted to attach with the female he loved(what i'm saying is they don't imagine about the shortcoming of life penalty in any respect)
2016-12-28 07:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as they start asking. Never lie to your children. There is nothing to be scared regarding death. It's another moment in life. Plus we don't really die, we just stop to exist the way we are now. We didn't exist before we were conceived!
You just change form! You feed trees, nourish the land and the birds. Nothing dies, everything changes.
2007-01-07 06:36:00 · answer #8 · answered by Stef 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sympathise: my son is 5, and I hold similar beliefs to yourself, but lets face it, religion was invented to pacify peoples' fears about reality. I hit a half way house, I guess, and tell him his grandad is "in the moon and the stars" - nothing about any mythical god or any similar, but it softens the blow a little. I'm not sure you really need to go into full detail: your children will realise that death means not seeing anyone again in time.
2007-01-07 06:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by hallam_blue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats a good question. All you can do is tell them the truth as gently as possible and hope they handle it well. Nothing lasts forever, the message should be that life is precious... its not the most comforting 'belief' and maybe thats why people cling to their religious faiths even though rationally they can see how silly they are.
2007-01-07 06:23:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋