I'm 14 and my mom watches me like a hawk. She seriously drives me insane - she has to have a say in just about every aspect of my life. She gets to deciede what I'm allowed to wear and not wear (she says 'no' to the dumbest things, like sandals with heals and halter tops), tells me I should eat more even when I'm full, tells me my brother can't take me out shopping even thouh he has his driver's liscense, and tries to tell me everything I should in basketball (I'm on the school team) even though she's never played basketball before! But when I tell her to back off, she gets angry and says I can't "talk to her like that". How the heck ca I make her realize she can't completely control me without getting her mad at me?!?!
2007-01-07 06:06:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And yes, I do realize my mom has to make some decisions for me, but she seriously tells me EVERYTHING I have to do. I can barely think because she's always bossing me around.
2007-01-07 06:14:35 · update #1
I think she just wants you to still be her baby. Mym om used to do that to me and she would really annoy with her little comments. But one day, I just couldn't take it anymore. I sat down and had a talk with her (real mature and grownup way =) ) and I let her understand how the things she does/say affect me. I voiced out my opinion, not through tantrums, but through reasoning and just plain old talking. She may not like to hear that you are trying to get out of her control, but she has to deal with it eventually. Don't worry if she gets mad at you. She can only stay angry for so long. It's better to get it over with now, or else it will keep adding and you will have all this irratation bottled up inside you (and that's terrible) Try that. It might help you the way it helped me. Now my mom understands that I'm my own person. She has a say in only certain aspects in my life, but I make sure she knows where to stop.
2007-01-07 07:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by pookashell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a time to sit down with her outside of the house, one-on-one time and discuss how you feel you are at an age where you want to explore things a little more. Let her know that you need her guidance and respect her decisions about things going on in your life. Tell her you will keep her informed of what's going on in your life (and do it), and then tell her that you want to have a good relationship with her, that you need her, and see if she is agreeable to making some decisions WITH your input. Try negotiating with things that are important to you, but realize that you may lose some battles. So if she says no to certain things, be willing to compromise and ask her to do the same.
Basically, you need to let her know that you love her, you respect her authority, but that you feel with her help you can make some deicions together. She probably is holding on so tight because she is deathly afraid you will make some poor choices and she is starting to lose her "baby."
Good luck.
2007-01-07 14:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things she has a say in, but some things she doesn't. She has no right to tell you to eat more. Tell her NO next time she does that, that you're done eating and old enough to make that decision. If she gets mad, too bad. As for basketball, just say, "Mom, please." And walk away. The other things she has a right, as far as clothes and going out. But you've got to start to stand up for yourself a little bit on the other issues. The key is, firm but nice, and recognize the kinds of things parents truly do have a right to control and those they don't.
2007-01-07 14:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anyone else who can talk to her? Perhaps a grown up who sees what she's doing? I understand that she can tell you to do certain things but if she keeps up this pattern, you will end up resenting her for life and will keep her at arm's length in the future. She seems like she needs a life of her own. If she's that involved in your affairs, she obviously has some issues. I feel for you. Good luck!
2007-01-07 20:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Willow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your mom and she has the right to decide certain things, whether you like it or not. You think you're so grown up and I can tell you're not, just by the way you talk. You should respect your mom, and you obviously don't. You are going to be one miserable teenager if you don't learn some respect.
2007-01-07 14:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is fearful you will end up ruining your life by getting pregnant or worse. She doesn't have confidence in your decision making. You need to show her by proving your trustworthy. Making good decisions and protecting yourself. Not easy.
2007-01-07 14:11:39 · answer #6 · answered by momonster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down face to face with her and explain to her how u feel
if she gets mad a u tell here the truth hurts sometimes
tell her u are just trying to tell her how u feel nothing big
2007-01-07 14:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by ryshekia_1994 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋