Was you bullied at school? Has it made you a stronger or weaker person.?

Question

I was bullied at school 22 years ago. It was when bulling was brushed under the carpet and not a lot was done about it. My mom and dad went to see the dupty head about it and he told my parents that I was imagining it. Nothing was done. In the final year of school I hardly ever went, my mom just let me stay at home.My Had brother died of luekemia so I was having to deal with that too. I do think that I would have a better quality of life now if I hadn't been bullied. Now I tend to ignore things and let others control things just for an easy life. Things do get me down and I have started to self harm, just so I can have sum self control of my life. There always seems to be someone or some thing holding me back. I long to live on my own but just can't afford it. Wot do I do?

Answer 1

I was bullied at school, but things has been pretty nice for me, my life is better than ever I overcame that, the way I see it on school either you're the bully or the bullied, but whats most important is to recognize that that was just something on school at a point "normal" whats more important is to think in your life and what do you want to do with it...just focus in your goals and at what are you going to do to achieve them, God can help only those who helped themselves

Answer 2

I think you need to make a new start and stop looking over your shoulder to the past. I was bullied at school too and the day I left was a happy day indeed. I left with no self-confidence but after I started my first job I quickly came to realise that people appreciated me for my qualities and that I shouldn't allow what had happened before to affect me in my future life.

Sure, I'm angry about some of the ugly abusive behaviour I had to endure from others as a teenager and I live for the day when I hear that one particular individual has died so that I can find out where he is buried and sh*t on his grave.

The thing is though, 18 years on, it doesn't rule my life. I'm a completely different person now. My school days almost feel as though they happened to someone else. However, I guess I'm lucky as you are so chewed up by the experience that you are self-harming. That isn't good news and you really should talk to your doctor about that.

You can get over it, with help. Your situation is not hopeless. Try and remember that and good luck. Remember: look forwards!

Answer 3

I was builled at school for 4 years most of it was mental, but there was an episode where it did turn physcal. I have slight cerebal palsy which means my balance is not good. This girl pushed me to the ground on purpose, dragged me across the classroom by my hair while another girl looked on.

It was a very humilating experience. When I told the teachers they said that I had no sense of humour!!

But I think it has made me stronger - I stand up to bullies. It has also made me more determined that these people will not beat me and I will acheive my goals. But there are moments when the past comes back to haunt me and it then becomes a weakness.

At Uni there have been other builles verbal and mental bullying I can take. But there was this one bully who had violently assulted his girlfreind, cause he was not happy and he was I think lining me up and his next target. I was put in a situation whereby I had to be in the same place as him on a weekly basis. I made sure I was not alone. In addition I began to have symptoms of anixtey problems based on the fact that I knew if he attacked me I would not be able to defend myself...I couldn't run away cause I had a operation in which they split my tendons, so if he attacked me I knew he would be successful.

But you have to be determined that these people are not going to ruin your life...if you self-harm you are letting the bully win. I know that is how you deal with pain and we all have pain and deal with it in diffrent ways. But you must not let these people win!

You sound like a lovely person and bullies always target the nice people - remember that. Bullying is a personality disorder - these people have a real problem - I would say a mental disablity - don't let these people win - they are not worth it.

Have faith in yourself that you are a FAB person...start by going back to college and getting the qualifications you need. You will meet new freinds, who have similar interests - go for it!

Answer 4

I was bullied, and i left school 6 years ago. It has ultimatly made me a stronger person but it takes longer for some to find this. It still hurts me to think about it though, and it isnt just kids who are horrible, even in the workplace you get bullies. All u need to remember is that they have serious issues if they are so screwed up to be so hateful to another human being, and that you havent done anything wrong. Most times its because you're clever, successful, attractive and they are just jealous. Go see your doctor and get some help for the harming, and mayb have some assertiveness classes, your doc mite b able to help with those. Get your confidence, save your pennys and i hope you sort your own place out one day and can be happy

Answer 5

I was bullied at school, nowt was done about it at the time and I don't feel that it has made me stronger.

If anything, I find confrontation hard to deal with and will avoid certain scenarios. I keep myself to myself and find life far easier that way. I don't make friends easily either and find it very difficult to trust people.

Being bullied has NOT made me stronger unfortunately, however I do have an awareness of how I've been affected and am quite secure and happy in my own skin now.

Good luck, it sounds like you've really been through it - have you thought of counselling as it did help me. Theres a website called Living life to the full (its free) which I've also found useful.

Hugs

Allie

Answer 6

Its unfortunate that alot of things were ignored back in the day compared to today, you cant even give another kid a dirty look in school without being hauled off for harrasment. I believe that there should be a balance. I feel for you dude I went through the same thing in school because of my size I think that I was 4' 8 when I graduated from high school, good thing since then I grew another 11 inches. But I really do believe that alot of issues that people have today are due to being harrased in school. But you know keep your head up, and try to laugh about it.

Answer 7

I was bullied at school then I joined the RAF and wondered why I didn't just kick them in the knackers. The problem with bullying is that it happens to the victim when they least expect it and they don't understand that are better than the vermin that is doing it. And they are still out there. Waiting to pick on the bereaved and anyone suffering from a period of mental illness. Mind you, they still have knackers

Answer 8

It caused me to have a nervous breakdown, so there was alot of fear and horrible feeling caused by bullying at school. I have private tutoring now so its lonely most of the time, not being around other kids. Don't know whether its a good thing or bad...

Bullying can cause a person to get stronger or weaker, it depends on the person to which path they go down.

Answer 9

Self harm has nothing to do with bullying - it is a psychological problem which needs to be dealt with through therapy. You need to contact your GP to put you in touch with a psychologist who will talk through your reasons for doing this. It seems to me that you are using it as an excuse for not getting on with your life. You can't change the past but you can change your future - the rest of your life starts today.

Answer 10

I was bullied in primary school. I do think it made me "stronger" in a way.

I am a very confrontational person now I abhor bullying tatics but have sometimes gone too far in my hatred of bullies and ended up using the same sort of tatics on them.

Whether this makes me stronger or not I don't know. I do think it left me wary and good at "reading" people though