How many pre-wedding parties is it normal to have? I know that it depends on how many the engaged couple want because it's their wedding. But what's the average number? I'm the maid of honor for my friend's wedding...she's planning on having a bachelorette party, a lingerie party, a bridal shower, another bridal shower with all the people from the church who aren't invited to the wedding, and a rehearsal dinner. Luckily,responsibility was divided and I was only assigned the bridal shower. I was just wondering though because this seems like alot of parties, especially since it's basically the same 10-20 people on all the guest lists and the bride/groom are expecting to get gifts/money at every event from every person.
2007-01-07 05:21:40 · 8 answers · asked by Keruma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your friend is going overboard and actually being quite rude.
First, you NEVER invite people to a shower that you aren't inviting to your wedding. Period. How rude of her. This is in ANY etiquette book or on ANY etiquette site.
The MOH plans the bachelorette party and the bridal shower - the latter with friends and family. A lingerie party is ridiculous. A rehearsal dinner can be planned, but the only gifts given here are from the wedding couple to the wedding party.
If it's the same 20 people, then have one bridal shower and that's it for the 'gift' parties. The Bachelorette party is usually only the bridesmaids - and the only gifts would be the gift of the night out or any gift from the wedding party (if they chose to get one). All wedding party members and their spouses should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but again, the only gifts involved are from the couple to the party.
If they are expecting gifts at all these parties, they are going to be quite surprised. It reeks of greed.
2007-01-07 08:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Out of those...you should have one bridal shower, one bachelorette party, and one rehearsal dinner (which is not really a pre-wedding party). The bride/groom should not be expecting gifts from the same 10-20 people every time...if you give one pre-wedding gift, then that should be all. The number of showers can sometimes vary...for example you may have a family shower, a friend shower, and a co-worker shower, but the same people would not be invited to all three. The bachelorette party is not really a gift-giving event either. It sounds like your friend is being a bit greedy and doesn't really appreciate the true meaning of getting married. It is not about getting gifts or money...guests to these events don't even have to bring anything...and she'll find that many people will not come to the events because they have already given her a gift.
2007-01-07 15:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't an average number that I know of. Some couples have an engagement party and then all the showers nd other parties you mention. A friend of mine who is really involved in her church had a shower thrown by ladies from her church who weren't invited to the wedding. I think it's normal.
I personally had a personal shower, a work shower, and then a group of old friends decided to throw me a shower. I didn't expect the work shower or the third shower. Most of the people at the work shower weren't invited to the wedding and no one from the third shower was.I also had a girls' weekend instead of a bachelorette party.
The rehearsal dinner isn't meant to be a party for the bride and groom so much as a chance for the close members of the bridal party to get together before the wedding and for the bride and groom to thank everyone.
If a person is invited to multiple events they're only expected to give one gift. The bride shouldn't expect a gift from that person at each event. That's just bad form.
2007-01-07 06:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes - it is very over the top if it is the same people.
I don't know the specifics, it may be tradition at her church for the ladies to throw a shower, but it reads as being tacky - sort of "you're good enought to give me a gift, but not for a seat at my wedding."
And having two showers - a lingerie shower and a more traditional shower is acceptable if there is a large group of women - some older and some younger - that can be divided up into two groups - However, there should NOT be anyone - except a VERY FEW (mom, etc) that would be invited to both. Bridal ettiquate dictates that anyone invited to both are NOT expected to buy two gifts!!! Some websites suggest one gift given as Part A & Part B if someone is invited to both - or a very small token gift related to the first gift- but a guest should NEVER feel as if she should have to give two gifts. (MY guess, a lot may decline one or the other...)
As far as the bachelorette party - you are asking the wrong person. I think they are tacky and out-of-date. A girls spa day, or similar classy event, is much better. Regardless, it should just be the members of the bridal party &any female family that would be appropriate. There would be NO gifts!! The spirit is fun.
The rehearsal dinner is paid for by the groom and/or the bride and groom - but only if there is going to be a rehearsal. THEY should be giving Thank-you gifts TO the members of the bridal party.
2007-01-07 05:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off, the bride should not be planning any of these parties. Hopefully that's not what you meant.
Only thode invited to the wedding should be invited to any pre-wedding party. 2 bridal showers really should be the limit and the lingerie party sounds as if it's just another name for a bridal shower.
You should not have been assigned anything since all of these parties are optional. Host only if you want to host.
2007-01-07 10:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very tacky.
No one should be invited to more than one shower. And if I'm not invited to the wedding, I do not attend a shower. Your friends are very greedy people, and if they go through with all of these parties, it will certainly show that all they want are the gifts.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
Sorry you are a part of any of this wedding.
2007-01-07 21:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE shower your friends with one of Miss Manners' excellent books, especially the one directed toward wedding etiquette. It is NEVER correct to expect gifts. This rule is so important and inflexible that even a 'please don't bring a gift' instruction on invitations is taboo, since that would imply that one COULD rightly expect a present, but is issuing a special dispensation in this one particular case.
I have heard of inviting people to the wedding, but not the shower -- so as not to tax the (potential, put not presumed) generosity of those with whom the bride is not particularly close. But this is the first time I have every heard of inviting folks to a shower, but not the wedding.
Your friends seem to be viewing their wedding as a fund raiser, rather than as an important moment in their lives that they wish to share with people about whom they care. Please council them to curb their greed lest they earn a lasting reputation for being utterly lacking in taste, manners, and shame.
2007-01-07 07:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Salaam sis! i think simplicity is sweet in spite of the undeniable fact that some experience the favor to flow overboard, my uncle is to get married next week and they are dealing with an identical be counted. i do not realize why they try this, yet coming from a training kinfolk does no longer guarantee that they are going to undertake each of the concerns, some %. and choose! Dolki is the position they open presnts etc it really is wrapped up in a kit.
2016-12-28 07:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋