A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everthing neat and tidy. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pilow. It was addressed, "Mom". With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Dad. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Mom, she's pregnant.
Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Chad
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home
2007-01-07 05:21:26 · 42 answers · asked by quilm 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Dear Chad, Sorry about your luck but I'm in such a hurry I don't even have time to finish reading your note. I've left your 'Dad' to be with Emanuel, our handyman who is your real father. We are going to live in a 6000 acre Ranch in Columbia left him by his drug smuggler father. I can't handle being some whore that is the property of a biker gang any longer. I won't be contacting you ever because you are lazy and worthless and will never leave home. By the way, yer 'Dad' is a registered child molester. I wish I hadn't let him babysit so often while I was 'Dating' @ the truckstop. Sorry we messed yer bed, I got to go, M
2007-01-11 14:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Chad's Mother had not had a heart attack by the time she gets to the p.s. paragraph, then he should be really disgusted at his own cowardly way of making excuses for having a bad report from school. At 15yrs he should of come clean and told his Mom the truth and faced up to the consequences. Moms are not all harsh and unforgiving, quite the opposite, as we all know.
Next time, come clean, speak to your Mom and don't forget to buy her something nice to make her feel better!
And when you do find a nice girl, bring her home to meet your Mom!
2007-01-07 05:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by heeeelp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL humorous and he's nice...worse issues than the record card. when you cool down, sit down with him and communicate relating to the grades. until now you freak on the F or D, communicate over with him approximately how his grades will result his occupation. some dad and mom turn on the assumption of their son/daughter going to community college and having to get a "commerce" like a nurse or electrician or something...however the certainty is there is greater artwork for those human beings than some pysche or english majors who graduate 4 3 hundred and sixty 5 days establishments. good success!
2016-10-30 06:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be glad he has a wonderful sense of humor and smarts not to have done such a real horrible things an he is alive god bless him kiss him and say dont ever do that f-u-cking sh-i-t again.. OR you can bring home a crib and bassinet and say ok well i have news myself im pregnant an she is gonna share your room.. have a friend to play along someone all dressed up in bad *** clothing or a young handsome honey hahahah lmao now this is the type of mom I would be tho send it back to him and be glad not mad.
2007-01-07 05:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know Tommys' phone number, and, could not care less about your report card.
All is forgiven. Come home now before I put your dinner in the Dog!
Love, Mom x x x
2007-01-07 05:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by Whistler R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats funny! after I calmed down I'd laugh about it, that would be a memory I would never forget.And for the report card well I would ground him,time spent studying something that would help make him a better person.
2007-01-07 05:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Likat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd call him and tell him it's safe to come home. When he got home, I'd hug him and tell him he never has to be afraid of me. Then I'd complement him on his humor and imagination and offer help with a tutor or whatever to help him bring his grades up. No report card, no matter how bad it is, is worth my son fearing me. I'm not a pushover, but I don't believe fear is the way to raise children.
2007-01-07 05:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kodoku Josei 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a Mom but at first reading I was shocked .
I would be shocked, upset.
but the last part I would be relieved and happy .
but I would still mention the report card...
2007-01-07 05:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its funny.... cruel but funny. i thought that he was serious at first until i reached the ps. your son has quite the imagination. to bad he doesnt use that for school. so what ARE his grades? they cant be that bad. i like the " call me when its safe to come home". i say give the kid a break. like he said.... there are worse things in life.
2007-01-07 05:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by Kate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent. A+
see me after school
2007-01-07 05:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by Alicat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋