Why does it seem like some people are so accustomed to being a "victim" of one form or another that when they enter into a good relationship with a lot of potential, they seem to undermine and sabotage it? What does one do to overcome this (be it the "victim" or the "victim's" SO)? Anyone have success doing so?
2007-01-07 04:58:47 · 4 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is totally the 'uh oh' here's something good, which means something real bad's going to happen to me, but not if I get my shot in first situation... yeah?
I've stood on both sides of this particular fence and it's not nice for anyone. The needy's do have a tendancy to suck the life out of you in the end and it only takes someone with half an ounce of confidence to come along, for you to wish you were with them.
The victims need help, sure, and we'll all give it our best shot, but maybe counselling professionals are the best bet.
I don't mean to be down on them. I was a 'victim' once too...but I also know how self-destructive and paranoid they can be and it's for their own sake that I'd suggest outside help.
2007-01-07 05:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the sabotage thing might be because their a self destructive person and the best way to get over it is take the thoughts of what happened and change it into something positive or make fun of what happened. like if a girl were abused, she could think of comical ways for why she was hurt. that might work
2007-01-07 13:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by ...... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. I just ended a hard relationship with a girl who lost her mother to suicide. It was difficult, but not impossible...
You really have to bring a balance to the mindset that particularly delicate issues from the past that have brought malady. Often, you will sacrifice your own well being to benefit you partner. You then have to ask yourself: Is the relationship still worth fighting for, if you dread the lifestyle necessary to maintain it?
2007-01-07 13:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Accredo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Key is trust. Most people enterint a realtionship have trust issues. The best you can do is get to know the other individual and and show that you trust them so that they can trust you back. Once you've secured that, you should be able to work out a relationship.
2007-01-07 13:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by Blood&Wine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋