Why would my BOYFRIEND JOKE about RAPING ME?

Question

I am a virgin and my boyfriend joked about raping me a couple of times. I told him to stop, he did that day, but said it again the next day. He doesn't even say he is joking. Like I asked him what he said after he said "I'll rape you"..he said he said "He'll date me" and than started chuckling saying bad cover.

We talk dirty on the phone sometimes and that's when he says it.

I have told him before that I intend to stay a virgin until marriage.

Also,before my boyfriend even held my hand he asked if he can "touch my butt?"

Are these all bad signs? What does it mean?

**I am sorry, I did repeat my posts but I would like get more opinions!**

Answer 1

Wake up dear.... it's time to dump him. And if you have any doubts, share this with your father and see how fast he moves to protect you!

Answer 2

Wanting to stay a virgin is wonderful, however in the real world it is not believed. Especially with a guy. You are talking dirty on the phone and there is nothing wrong with it. But its getting him all hot and bothered. Your boyfriend is not mature enough to understand that you mean what you say about staying a virgin. . He is attracted to you and he is a young guy who is horney. When he says he wants to rape you, he really means he desperately wants to fool around, but knows you will say no, so he fantasizes of just taking what he wants. To bad he verbalized it Absolutely the wrong word to use. As rape is an action of violence.. The reality is that it will be very hard to find a guy at this age to respect the fact that you want to remain a virgin till marriage. Most will move on to someone who will put out. this guy needs to move on. He has already disrespected you. To the curb with him.

Answer 3

Firstly, there are different levels of a relationship, and they exist in many forms and ways, and also being "comfortable" in a relationship is solely dependent on the people concerned aka the guy and the girl.
The way you have described your problem portraying your boyfriend i dont think he's really planning to stick with you for a long time atleast, i think he's plainly intending to have "fun" and then let go off you because of your sensitive nature.So i suggest a few remedies and a few torch-light techniques ,
Ask your guy a few things and tell him to be honest and very serious when you ask these things,
1) Do you think i should trust you before going out with you (make him realise that you need to be clear in your head , and that he needs to be in your circle of trust before he does something, even if it's kissing you )
2) Does he see himself getting married to you ? ( the best way to understand this is , by making him realise that he means a lot to you, so he shud probably respect your emotions before getting to close )
3) Ask him if he would like to get in bed with you ? ( Whoooa , this is like the mother of all test questions , if he quickly says a yes ... then you know that he's not really in love with you instead he just wants to use you and then let go, because if he's really in love with you then he would stop and ask for time and trust in the
relationship and your comfort )
Again all this does not mean anything as of now, because only a person in love really knows how deep their affection towards each other really is, and how much of the same is superficial....
hope this helps !:)

Answer 4

Sweetie, if you want to keep your virginity until marriage, you really shouldn't "talk dirty on the phone," you're giving him two different messages, teasing him. You should only say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are really afraid that he might possibly rape you, dump him. Rape is not a joke. And the "touch my butt" remark, I would have dumped him then and there. That, to me anyway, is a sign of disrespect, and you wouldn't want to share something so intimate and precious with someone who doesn't respect you, would you?

Answer 5

You are what men call a "*********".

You have a boyfriend, who you talk dirty to on the phone, but then you tell him you want to be a virgin til you get married.

That's double talk - if you REALLY wanted to stay a virgin til your wedding night, you wouldn't act like that - you wouldn't get your man worked up and then not give him any.

He's "joking" about rape because you get him excited and then refuse to satisfy him!! He probably dreams about making you have sex with him forcibly because you won't give it up voluntarily.

You should stop leading your man on if you have no intention of giving him any, because you're being a ********* and men hate that. Stop provking him by talking dirty! Or he might just get worked up one day and try and take advantage of you!

Answer 6

Definitely a bad sign, but I would HIGHLY suggest that you immediately stop the "dirty" phone talk... is this what a girl who wants to remain a virgin until marraige should be doing??? People usually talk about something before action... why are you setting yourself up?

Answer 7

You may wanna wait and that really is wonderful follow your heart.. He obviously doesnt want to wait. Have a serious talk with him let him know that even tho he is joking you are offended by what he says. He should never joke about raping someone. Rape is a VIOLATION of ones body. If you care or love someone why would you joke about doing somehing that WOULD cause physical and emotional harm. After you talk with him if you still feel uneasy with him get rid of him. listen to your instincts on this one. If you dont want him to touch you in a sexual way dont allow him to either..he asked to touch your butt walk away and say NO. NO means NO and you stick to it girl.

Answer 8

i don't think of those are the words of somebody who's excessive high quality and understanding. i think of those are the words of somebody who's egocentric and precisely who would not comprehend. you have experienced something dreadful, and human beings who have not had this experience first-hand in many cases do not (because of the fact they might't) recognize this and each so often make jokes without realising how hurtful they are. yet each mature man or woman in the international knows that threatening to rape somebody is heavily incorrect. i'm helpful if somebody spoke that way together with his sister or his mom he might experience in a distinctive way. i don't think of it incredibly is the being concerned form of man or woman you have chose to be with, or finally to sleep with for the 1st time. you will possibly be able to desire to leave this relationship. it won't be trouble-free, and you need to to have some friends around to help you. perhaps say issues like "i'm not the marvelous man or woman for you appropriate now" and "there are different ladies you would be happier with" and "i comprehend you will not harm me because of the fact i comprehend you're a competent man or woman". superb of success and if he threatens you, you will possibly desire to call the police as we talk.

Answer 9

I think they're bad signs. He's testing your limits. If he continues to show that he doesn't respect you or your limits he's advertising the type of guy he is.Then you need to ask yourself if this is the type of prince you want - someone who refuses to respect something that is very important to you. If you don't want that type of prince, then move on to someone who has the qualities you need and deserve. There are no perfect princes out there but there are some that will honor and respect you!!

But don't compromise your boundaries!! As the old proverb says, "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Answer 10

Sometimes when talking dirty people can say things they would never do in 'real life' However if he says things like this when you are making out I'd be wary, my advice is don't go out with someone that makes you feel uncomfortable, his chuckling and saying bad cover sounds very immature.

Finally a loving realtionship is one where you feel safe and happy and comfortable - so if you don't feel this I say get out and wait for someone that can really love you for you.

Answer 11

That is not a joke, and it is by no means funny whatsoever. The boyfriend is sick to even suggest such a thing. Kick him to the curb with a quickness if you haven't already.