Hey, need help here. I've had an on off thing with a guy for over four years. He started off saying he was only interested in sex. Then I wrote to him being honest and saying I had depper feelings he replied very nicely saying he didn't and then started seeing another girl.
He kept seeing me, texting and e-mailing throughout this relationship, hlping me with work stuff. We also had sex a couple of times. He was also pretty annoyed when I said I was seeing someone else. His girlfriend recently found our messages and dumped him. He started blaming me!!!! Anyway last night he suddenly turned up at my house saying what an idiot he's been and he has 'ruined everything'. Correct. He was very apologetic but didn't clarify whether that was because he'd never given me a chance or because of her finding out. He did say he had loved her. I was a tad frosty in the circumstances and also made it clear I had a fabulous new b.f. which I don't. So, why is he so bothered what I think and am up to ?
2007-01-07 04:16:58 · 18 answers · asked by loola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that he is using you because you will be always available whenever he "needs" you....if you know what I mean....and when he got annoyed when you told him you have a bf....his ego kicks in because he has to share with someone else.....you won't be as available whenever anymore.....
You should just forget about him. He apologized to you when he just lost his gf and feeling sad, that is why he opened up to you.
Move on girl, don't waste your time to the guy who is not REALLY into you.....you'll find a better one....
2007-01-07 04:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by redmouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you as a crutch. Get rid of him and don't expect anything beyond what a "little boy" could offer.
On a side note, beware of those who blame others when their lives don't work out. We are the only ones creating our realities and the realisation of that is one of the marks of maturity.
Do you reallly want to have as a boyfriend, mate, partner, someone who is so unaware of themselves?
He was trying to use you and you were letting him do so. THAT is behind you. Stop trying to read things into his actions.
You were there for sex and like a little child, he doesn't want to have you intimately - probably because he doesn't think he's good enough - but doesn't want anyone else to be with you.
Don't waste your time. You aren't his mother and that is the only relationship you will get from him at this point in time.
If you do want a parent / child relationship, then by all means, go for it.
Good luck.
2007-01-07 12:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by KD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you said, what you have with this guy is only friendship. Sex buddies at some point but problem is you have feelings for him but he doesnt, good news is he told you he doesnt feel the same.
Guy-friends tend to be jealous when a spot-light is taken away from them but this doesnt mean they are reciprocating the romantic feelings you have for them... just be careful because some people will use you or turn you in a doormat... this will not be good for you and your self-esteem... and always remember there are other guys out there that can treat you better than what this guy is treating you.
Be his friend not his lover---he wont be a good lover anyway.
2007-01-07 12:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by TOTALLY CONFUSED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think he is a player. He really doesn't wat nothing serious with anyone. He probably just likes making out with girls and sex. Those are probably the two things that are on his mind. I think he doesn't like you, he is just using you for pleasure since he knows you have feelings for you, he takes advantage of you and only uses you. He might be telling you nice things and tell you he has feelings for you but its just an act. And the reason he is jealous and mad because you suppousley have a boyfriend is because he knows he won't be able to have sex with you since youre in a relationship. To be honest with you i dont think he likes you. Find youre self someone else. Someone who wants something serious.
2007-01-07 12:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I think he might be leading you on. It sounds like he likes you a lot, but is not prepared to commit to you.
This makes things difficult for you because you have to decide that YOU don't want what he can offer - which isn't very much.
I really wouldn't trust him given the way that he has treated you in past. Do you think that it is possible he is falling back on you as a last resort because his other relationship has failed?
If that's true, you can't trust him to stay around...and... you deserve better.
2007-01-07 12:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by psychedelic_fighter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am definately jumping on the band wagon with this one. This person has obviously lead you along and opened up the path that leads directly into your bedroom. The only reason why he is bothered is he thinks he might not get a piece of action from you. I say run straight into the arms of your fictional perfect boyfriend and cut off all ties with this usurping coward.
2007-01-07 12:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Terri R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys get annoyed when a girl they like likes another guy, but they get even more annoyed when the girl they like likes them back, but are going out with some other guy. I say to just go with the flow. If you REALLY like this guy than chances are of what you said that he has the same feelings for you.
2007-01-07 12:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ellen the Estonian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to sit down and talk to him to find out what he is feeling for sure. You have to be honest in order to be able to have a good relationship. Also you have to be able to communicate honestly. You really wouldn't have a good relationship since you cannot be fully honest with him. I know you don't want to get hurt. It sounds like he was honest with you and you had sex with him anyway. You should never get involved with someone who is already involved with someone else. Why get involved with someone who would cheat on their girlfriend?????? That is not good morals either.
You should have asked him last night to clarify if you wanted to know, as we cannot answer that for you. He probably liked having you as a back up knowing you really liked him. One who fools around while he is with someone and one who fools around with someone who is involved is bound to not work out. It is one learned and hopefully you have learned from this. Never get involved with someone because you think they will change.
Get yourself straightened out. Like yourself for who you are. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself and go on. You will find someone else when the timing is right.
2007-01-07 12:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think he is too bothered, he may be scared of losing you because you have made it so easy for him to have sex on tap! You need to find yourself and nice guy who will be with you and only you. He is a player.
2007-01-07 12:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is single now and needs you for support. i wouldn't trust him, he 'wants his cake and to eat it too' he is just going to hang onto you until someone else comes along, thats why he didn't want to commit to you ini the first place, so he keeps his options open and doesnt owe any obligations to you. he is bothered cuz in one sense he is jealous of your new 'bf' and now realizes that youre a better person than he thought. dont waste your time on him he had his chance and lost a great girl
2007-01-07 12:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by Butter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋