How do I make Him SORRY?!?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year,
and he sometimes say things that really hurt me, but he truly believes hes right, and he the most stubborn person.
we had an agreement that he'd stop smokin weed,
and i was supposed to give him something, then i lost it, and
now after about 6 months of him bein clean, hes sayin if i dont find it today hes gonna smoke.
and every time we fight he blames everything on me, i want him to know hes wrong,and know hes hurting me, and he makes me cry so much....for some reason i feel like i aint **** with out him...and im miserable, if i cant help him understanding hes wrong and make him regret this, how can i leave him without hurting like i know i will?!?

Answer 1

theres no real way to make him know what he is loosing without leaving him for good and then you wont be with him so whats the point, unless your lucky enough to find someone who realizes the possible pain without you prior to screwing it up and then you probly wouldnt be doing this anyways ro need to that is. The not smokin weed thing dont kid yourself into thinking he quit cause I just seriously doubt it maybe but I doubt it and thats just something you cant control and your just making an issue because its there to make and its something he likes pointless really I mean people who smoke weed are ususally pretty mellow I mean its not like alcohol can get when people beat there kids or verbally abuse the family and wreck the car my point is just thats its not that bad and could definately be a lot worse and trying to change anyone is the worst mistake us girls seem to make usually what you get in the beginning is what you get in the end and all those little things you in your mind thought you could take care of and essentially ignored in beginning thinking you were gonna change is usually in the end are the cause of most of the problems because again you cant change it, anyways the point is picking your battles and compramise are what it really boils down to and when you really want to work it out with someone you will you'll do whatever it takes to keep it together when you really love someone and it doesnt sound like either one you is concerned the working it out as the outcome instead its who can prove who "respects" the other one more even though your essentially defeating the intended purpose so either acceptance is needed here or seperation, I mean let me add that if you have to give him something for him to stop doing something then he really at heart doesnt want to stop it for the sake of the relationship so he isnt going to put his heart into it so whenver he can get away with it behind your back or when your not around he's doing it so actually this bring lying, deception, wanting to go out without you around so he can be himself and you dont want all that so keep it real between you, you know if he wont stop because of the relationship on his own because of the reasons you feel that it affecting your relationship then he doesnt care about it like you do and for your life its a one way street that your walking on alone so whats the point, move on Isnt it crazy how one or two things can affect your life in so many ways and so much can be seen from it, good luck Kim

Answer 2

you probably aren't going to like this answer but you need to get away from him. You can't continue this, you do this to me or I will do this to you. Also if he says things that you know are true and you feel you need to change them then work on that. if he tells you things to hurt you just to hurt you then that is no way to live. If he blames things on you that will just continue. Of course you are something without him, you are fine just the way you are. You need to find someone that sees the best in you and not the worst. See how down you are on yourself? If you stay with him it will continue to get worse, I would be willing to bet he isn't going to change. Just bite the bullet and leave him and keep really busy and don't keep in contact wtih him at all. He likes the control he has over you and is very immature if he cannot ever take the blame for anything. You are way better than this, think more for yourself and just choose better next time and don't think this is the way it has to be because it isn't.

Answer 3

what you are actually saying to him is " you know i will say all these things and moan but i wont actually do anything because im terrifies of losing you" and as long as you make out you are a second class citizen in your relationship he will continue to treat you like crap,,if you want respect you must demand it or those who see you are open to critisism will take full advantage and use it against you,if you dont want him to look at you as someone who will put up with anything he throws at you then stop putting up with it,the odd spat is good,healthy even but if you resort to crying when you know he isnt going to change but still do nothing about what upset you in the first place he never has a reason to take you seriously,he has learned from experience that you will moan,he will make some small effort that you will be grateful for then he will get bored ,do whatever he likes and you will do nothing about it,,,,,you have to stand on your own two feet and stop relying on him,,you CAN live without him,you lived without him before you met him and you would have still lived if you had never met him,,you are scared of change and if you let this fear surround all you do you will never grow as a secure person.you need air to live,you need food and water to live,you also need emotional stability to live otherwise you will be a wreck and a shell of a person,,you do not NEED anyone to live.you are not happy in this relationship and you are with someone who doesnt make you happy,doesnt even try,you would be better off without him,,go look in the mirror,,,,,,,,,all you see is the same face everyone else including him sees,,they see nothing of what and who is behind that face,,change what is behind and that face in the mirror may one day smile back at you,but it is only you that can make those changes.

Answer 4

People can't leave people they cared for without feeling hurt. He will feel it too—but you may not see it, and it may not appear in the same manner as yours does. As he tends to blame things on others, he will do some of that too. To the extent that he keeps up that way of moving through life, he has plenty of hurt coming his way.

It sounds like you have been hurting for a year and are ready yo give up that self inflicted pain executed by him. Go! Don't look back! Good luck!

Answer 5

If he is makin you cry so often, in the longer run wouldn't it be easier to just dump him, it would hurt for awhle but that would pass. By staying with him, you are just leaving yourself open to continously being hurt by him.

I don't understand why so many women like yourself believe you can change us (guys) behaviour? It rarely happens. I don't think you can convince you're b/f he is wrong because it sound like he doesn't respect your opinion. Don't trap yourself in an a emotionally hurtflull relationship out of love, there is other guys out there with whom U can find love.

Answer 6

If he is making you cry than he is not worth dating! If you hate him smoking weed and he want stop than call the law on him, if he still his verbaly abussing you than tell him it is over, and find someone who treats you with respect and you can trust him... he is not worth it, find somone who makes you laugh, and makes you smile till your jaws start to hurt, find somone who you can trust and fill cofterbale around, and if your having a bad day your bf will be rite their beside of you so that you can lay your head on his shoulder. Who cares if that guy your dating now is really hot, if you were to get caught with him while he was doing drugs that could cause serious problems for you (prisson, jail ect.) i would dump him and if he doesnt like it than move houses so that he cant find out where you live!!! Tell me what happens next!

~thanx~

Answer 7

first of all if he makes you feel this way you are much better off without him. you can and will find someone better just end it now before it gets worse and give yourself some personal time then jump back into that dating scene. and do you really want to be with someone who has a problem with weed cause that will just lead somewhere else?

Answer 8

But I can see why your still attracted to him, he is a guy that is dominant, knows what he wants, alot of girls I know are attracted to guys like that.

Like many othrs have said already, if the guy makes you miserable so much, leave him, you can find a guy just as good that is dominant that won't hurt you

Answer 9

sweety you are your own person and even thou you love this guy that much sometimes letting them learn from their own mistakes is best.He is wrong for wanting something in return to quit smoking weed, He has no will power,he should have wanted to quit on his own. as far as you leaving him and not hurting like you think you will , it will be hard but you need to think about yourself and focus on positive things , he will get caught smoking weed and he done the crime so he will do the time for it . dont let him drag you down with him. call it quits and move on.

Answer 10

Try and leave even though its going to hurt..you know a part of you wants to...your scared that's OK...if you don't your going to feel stuck..and that's not good either.
So I would say no matter how much it's going to hurt..break up with him...then at least you tried..see how you make out...give yourself that opportunity anyway....