I broke up with my ex bf a few months ago bc I needed some space to figure my feelings out. Now, Im sorta confused. Although I did like having my space, I miss him a lot. When we go out (since we have a lot of mutual friends) I always wish he was my bf. We have been hanging out lately just to see how it goes. I know he loves me and given the chance, he would marry me. I love him too. I hate the thought of not having him in my life.
Now, keep in mind we started out as friends for many years, so I dont know if that makes a difference. I feel like maybe theres a certain feeling thats missing. However, the only thing I can compare it to is my last long term serious relationship which started in highschool and lasted through college. I guess with this relationship, that "butterfly" feeling isnt really there any more. It was in the beginning, but not anymore. Is this normal? Im 25 now and I guess relationships are much different as you get older but I'd just like someone elses opinion.
2007-01-07 03:27:11 · 11 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please tell me your age after your answer. Thanks...
2007-01-07 03:27:34 · update #1
You're probably not going to like my answer, but here goes: I think you need to date a few more guys - at least one, just to see how it goes. I've found in my experience that high-school sweethearts CAN keep a relationship together with hard work, but they usually are not very happy (there are RARE exceptions of course). I almost married my high-school sweetheart and finally got wise 3 months before the wedding. Now, I'm married to the most wonderful lady I've ever met and I regret trying so hard for years to make it work with the only person I had ever dated/made love to/etc. I wasted too many years being not as happy as I could have been.
I'm 32.
2007-01-07 03:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by It's Me 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
22, I'm going to say it's pretty normal to lose that "butterfly" feeling as long as you're still physically attracted to the guy. I believe that the same thing happened with a girl I was involved with. It was heartbreaking. I think there is a certain ebb and flow to these feelings. Someday it may be back, maybe it will never return. The bottom line should be that you love the guy. Take it slowly though. You could just be afraid of the loneliness. You need to make sure you really do love him.
2007-01-07 11:33:51 · answer #2 · answered by The Royal Followills 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal for the butterfly feeling to go away. The more comfortable you get with someone the less you will feel the butterflies. I have been with my husband for 22 years. We were together for 6 years before we got married. I didn't feel the butterflies anymore when we got married but I knew that I loved him and wanted to spend my life with him. I think the butterflies are replaced by the feeling of true love. (44)
PS. We still have our ups and downs but every relationship will have some of those. You have to work at a relationship if you want it to work. It's not all fun and games. You get mad,you get over it and you move on. In any relationship you need your own space. You can't spend every waking moment with them. I go do my own things(shopping) and he goes and does his own things(hunting) but the family things we do together. We have 3 sons.
2007-01-07 12:15:13 · answer #3 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, and he's said that he loves you, and you feel empty without him, then tell him. You should tell him you are unsure of your feelings, and if you want a serious relationship. If he really loves you, he'll understand and take it slow. As for the butterfly feeling, (I'm not exactly experienced at all, I've never had a boyfriend, but I do really like a guy), perhaps you were just nervous in the beginning?
2007-01-07 11:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by Linaeve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a tough one. I think that you are "comfortable" with him. Do you know what I mean? On the other hand that "certain feeling" does not last forever anyway. How badly do you want that feeling again? It would have to be with someone else. Find out now before you marry your ex. Cheating later is a problem. Few of us are married to our first loves. We think of them from time to time. I do. (male, 58)
2007-01-07 11:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by Karnak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you love him, but you're not in love with him anymore. It happens all the time, don't be surprised. Sometimes that means that it isn't meant to be, but hopefully it just means you're comfortable with him and know that he isn't going anywhere. You have thoughts of being with him probably because it makes you feel secure, and you don't want to end up lonely or with a jerk. Do what is right and fair and things will fall into place.
2007-01-07 11:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by dcbossygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if the spark isnt there anymore and your having doubts is the relationship worth it. i guess the question you need to ask yourself is if you really do love him and could see yourself with him and no one else. there are ways to get that spark back in a relationship. good luck.
17, im young i know, but maybe that will help
2007-01-07 11:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you love him. You should just continue doing what your doing right now. Slowly seeing him again to see how it goes. Tell him you need your space though and see how it works from there. good luck.
2007-01-07 11:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by Todd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure that you miss him, or do you just miss the idea of him? perhaps you are better off keeping your distance and finding someone else- when it is the right person, you will know.
2007-01-07 11:29:22 · answer #9 · answered by Josh T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay put...you must think very carefully...write what you feel and read it over and ever again....then, make a decesion...im 24.
2007-01-07 11:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by unpredictable 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋