Since I've been a divorced person, there's always this fears inside me that if I got involve in a relationship, it will end up in disaster like the first. I don't know but this has been my fears for sometime now. I always wanna have someone but I'm too scared to be serious about it. This fears is killing me.
2007-01-07 03:18:23 · 9 answers · asked by JUSS 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I truly wish you get over your fear. It is really a funny thing fear is. When you are scared then you focus on the object of your fear. What you focus on you tend to make larger and more relevant to your life. For example you may be so scared that the relationship will end in disaster that you see any bump that all relationships must go through as being potentially ruinous. Over reacting you compound the problem and the relationship is ruined.
On the other hand you could take it as it comes. Stop predicting the worst. Or best for that matter. The truth is some relationships never make it past the few month mark and some not past the first phone call. What ever the outcome enjoy the moment. Give what you can and remember that fear stops you from having fun right now because of the anticipated future.
Sometimes things hurt. Sometimes they hurt a lot. To me though I would rather the experience than to project my mind into the future and not act in the present.
2007-01-07 03:31:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you feel the same as any person who has been in this position,,you thought you had something for it to disappear without you having come to terms with it. dating is hard at the best of times but if you go out looking for that special someone you may miss them when they do appear,,get back out there yes, but do it with the intention of having fun,expect nothing but a good time and if all you have is a good time you wont be disappointed,,as they say,,love comes when you are not looking and it is true,,when you fear being desperate,,when you feel you have to choose from your suitors the choices seem minimal or unwanted but if you treat all the same,open yourself to just talking to people with no agenda planned you may just find meeting someone special not so hard.there are plenty of men in this situation too and whenever something we took for granted is no longer there it is scary but it is no reason to stay scared.go out with friends,do something just for yourself,,that thing you put off because you didnt have the time,,be yourself so others can see the real you too and not this shell of a person you seem to think you are,,there is always more than meets the eye and sometimes the only person that cant see it is the person themselves.
2007-01-07 11:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be judgemental or anything, you should've probably done more research with your first husband, because marraige isn't a bail-out-when-I -can't -take-it -anymore deal. The cycle will repeat so just get ready to be single and have boyfriend after boyfriend until you meet someone that you really get along with otherwise known as a friend, just like millions of other women in America. Oh yeah, pray and ask God to help you.
2007-01-07 11:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by dcbossygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to have second thoughts after living a bad experience. But if you want to conquer your worst fears, face them.
Don't shut the doors on love for you will be letting happiness go away.
2007-01-07 11:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by David G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a long time to trust again. Be friends with people for a long time before getting into anything serious. Let men know that you aren't prepared for a committed relationship at this time, although you would be interested in going out to dinner, movies, etc. You have to find your inner strength again and become happy with yourself again before entering into any serious relationships. Take care & stay strong! It'll all come in time.
2007-01-07 11:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by oracle1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Faith helps conquers fear, confusion, anger, all that. Sounds like you could use some soul-searching to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
A book that helps you through self-love and getting through relationships is, "In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love you Want.
Its a good read, it helped me.
2007-01-07 11:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by fingerprint 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what u have to do is become friends and when u feel that u no each other long enough than he will come chasing after u because he will no what u r like
2007-01-07 11:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by Bri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try not to be too serious in your first attempts. Take things easy, have fun, one of this days you'll find your significant other.
2007-01-07 11:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't choose your past, but you can choose not to let your past rule your future.
You have to make it not an issue. When you're ready, you WILL be able to do it.
2007-01-07 11:22:13 · answer #9 · answered by mrlightfoote 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋