I have been with the same man for the past 6 years we have been living together for 1.5. We have no children.
We have spoke about marriage before and he promised me in the past that we would get it done in 2008. Now that its 2007 he says he is not ready and doesnt think he will ever be any time soon because we are "SOOOOOO young" (24 years old but we are both successful young adults)
I don't think our age should be an issue being that we have been together so long, we already share money and just about everything else.
I feel like I am wasting my time...I made up my mind that if there is no type of commitment by my 26th birthday Im leaving I cannot wait forever.
2007-01-07 03:16:41 · 13 answers · asked by Pixie Sticks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
probably a good plan....good luck
2007-01-07 03:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wait till you are 26? That's another 2 years! If he's not ready now, he won't be by then either! And why should he? He already has you.
Move out and be on your own. You have already wasted 6 years of your life. I don't believe in rushing into marriage, but he has had plenty of time to make a committment. If he really loves you, he will come around. If not, you will be free to find someone else who will treat you with respect.
And next time, don't live together!
2007-01-08 05:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say that I blame you. Yes, you are still young, but you've been together a long time. You definitely don't want to push him to get married though because you should both feel good about it and be ready or there will be problems. You have to decide if you are willing to wait indefinitely or move on. You have to do what is right for you. If people wait until everything in their lives is perfect before they get married, it would never happen because life is so unpredictable....there will always be something going on.
2007-01-07 11:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to say by your 26th you will be out. I would have said your 25th personally. It is insulting in a way for a man to be dating you and saying he loves you but not be ready to get married after six years. You think he is crazy about you but it's like he is crazy about you up to a certain point. It is a horrible feeling to feel like you aren't worth taking the big plunge.
The "soooo young" 24 years i feel is just an excuse from him not to do this. If he is willing to pull the age card in support of why you shouldn't marry yet then he isn't for you. You feel you are ready at this age and after six years i think he should too.
Remember you want a man that is crazy for you and can't live another day not your husband. You are worth it!
2007-01-07 14:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by spacekitty57 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this guy is just strining you along like a horse on a long rope. (no offense).
He is not ready to get married now or ever. He sounds like a confirmed bachelor (or bast-rd) that is jsut out to get what he can as far as the benefits of marriage but without the financial and legal obligations. If you two share a bank accoutn...he can at any time come in and totally wipe the thing out and there is nothing you can do. If you live together and the palce is in his name...he can legally "evict" you and you have nothing to say about it. He sounds like he is trying to get the milk free without buying the cow.
You need to get away from him and run as fast as you can in the other direction. Do not pass go and do not collect two hundred dollars.
He is definitely not worth it. You deserve better than this jerk; and you will find him someday. He is out there!!!
Good Luck!!!
2007-01-07 11:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My friend went through the same thing. She had been with her now husband since high school, lived together for years etc. but he wouldn't commit to getting engaged. She was 25 and finally decided to move out because he wouldn't commit to marriage. They broke up, she got her own apartment with a friend and started dating other people (he did too) then three months later after he realized the grass isn't always greener on the other side he propsed to her and she accepted. Sometimes it takes a person knowing what it's like not to have someone to realize what they do have.
Best of luck !
2007-01-07 18:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by mailersky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's him, and it's NOT that he's not ready. The problem is that you are living together; he has become comfy and has no need or want to get married, you are giving him all he wants and needs. You have waited three years longer than I would have. You need to move out, gain some independence, and find yourself a guy who treats you better. Don't wait another two years... you are missing the most fun of your life in your 20s. He has had enough time....
2007-01-07 13:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well good idea not to have children till yo do get married, good for yo on that one and please don't have any till you are....
It sounds like it is all about him, what about you and what you want?....24 isn't 18 , and if you have your lives togehter sounds to me like he is stalling a bit, the reason doesn't matter, it clearly makes you unhappy...
I think we all have to be really carefull about ultimatums,,,which is what you are suggesting, jsut be sure you mean it and follow through...
Maybe you should start having a plan to end it, you can't just walk out of the door, you do need a plan. Maybe start looking for a place of your own or tell him to...good luck..
2007-01-07 11:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. You cannot sit around forever! What is he waiting for?!?! You have been together long enough for him to know by now.
Stick to your guns and let him know that you need a committment or you are out! Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-07 13:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and go and don't live with the next one. This one got the milk for free and that's why he's not wanting to get married.
2007-01-07 11:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by Pache 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you share everything but a surname then what is the rush? Is this small detail so important to you that you would leave him if he doesn't marry you within your allotted time frame?
An old saying for you to think about.... Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
2007-01-07 11:35:04 · answer #11 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋