We have decided to put our outside dog down because of cancer. Our daughter is three and although I do not think she is extrememely attached to him, she will of course notice he is gone and my husband and I disagree on what to tell her. He just wants to wait until she asks where he is and we should just answer that he is gone and can't come back. I think we should let her say good bye to him letting her know that he wont be coming home. Any suggestions?
2007-01-07 02:30:44 · 10 answers · asked by Question Addict 5 in Pets ➔ Dogs
Never underestimate children; they are very intuative creatures and know what's going on even if they don't have the vocabulary to express themselves or ask questions.
We suggest that you use this time as a "bonding" experience. Tell your child in simple language that the dog is going to die because it's very ill. (Don't tell her you'll be having it put down; just let her know that it's dying and wont come back once it's dead.) Let her say her goodbyes, cry if you want to. Let her see that even if something dies, the world doesn't end, and there are loved ones around that can share her grief. (She may cry in response to your own emotion, but that's okay. Honest emotions aren't things to be ashamed of; they're things to be shared.)
Avoid using phrases like "going to sleep" because a very small child may misinterpret the information and never want to go to bed.
Also, It's not always a good idea to tell a child that the dog has gone to a "better place" because very small children don't understand that concept, and wonder what's wrong with the place they're in now.
Be honest and supportive. It will be difficult for a few minutes, yes, but those minutes will pass... and your daughter will then have a lifetime to relive the benefits of the honesty and support you gave her as a child.
2007-01-07 02:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by Fetch 11 Humane Society 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tough one..did she know that the dog was very poorly before he was put down? I think it is perhaps a bit mean to wait until she asks - it may keave her feeling a bit confused as to why she wasnt told or a bit hurt that she hasnt said goodbye to him.
You could tell her that your dog was not too well and he has gone to live in a house full of other doggies where they can make him feel better and he can play all day. Maybe you could write her a letter 'from the dog' (signed with a paw print!) to say he is so sorry for not being able to say goodbye but he had to rush off super quick to get the lift to his new home. He hopes she will be good and not miss him too much because he is happpy etc etc. Obviously she wont be able to read it but if you send it through the post with her name on the front and then sit down and read it to her and be ready to answer her questions it might work.
Just a thought anyway. Good luck. x x
2007-01-07 02:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by smileyscribe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a kids book called When Scooter Died" about a little boy whose dog dies...You may want to see if your local library has it. You can read it to her, or get some ideas from the book on how to approach this difficult subject. Just because your daughter wasn't close to the dog, doesn't necessarily mean she didn't love him. Kids are VERY good at hiding their feelings, even at three. As a preschool teacher I suggest that u do talk to her about it. Let her ask questions, and tell you how she feels...I can't tell you what to say, I think you just have to use your motherly instinct, and talk to her on her level. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-07 02:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by misstikal311 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with Fetch 11. Your daughter needs to go through her grief process too. She needs to be a part of this. Three-year-old children are extremely intuitive, and your husband's way of wanting to handle it seems almost cruel to me. Perhaps cruel's a little harsh, but it's not a very good way to handle your daughter's emotional attachment to the dog. All the best.
2007-01-07 02:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing this past summer with my 12 yr old lab and we have small kids. you need to be honest with your daughter. she needs to have closure and be able to say goodbye. but when you do talk to her don't just tell her he is sick.....she will think all things die when they get sick. you will have to explain to her why he is being put to sleep as best as you can so she understands...let her ask questions and be prepared for some tough ones. my 4 yr old still asks if we can go dig up "max" and bring him home and we have to explain that he no longer can play and that he is in heaven.
2007-01-07 04:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by julie's_GSD_kirby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that it is the puppys time to go and he is going to heaven with all the other dogs for eternal parties and delicious canine food and beverages. he will be on the beach and have fun and build sand bones and he can go sailing. Wow, thats a mouthful.
2007-01-07 02:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by FOXRACING 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell her he ran away or just tell her he is real sick and going to doggie heaven and let her say bye to him and let her know he is going to a better place.
2007-01-07 02:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by John H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um, say that your dog was really poorly and he had to go to another place. But he will be better at the other place and well looked after. hope it helps
2007-01-07 02:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the best way to tell a 3 year old that is to lay it on very slowly and not to hard bc they will take it enen harder than it all ready is and to mabey gety a nather dog to replace the old dog to make it better!!!!
2007-01-07 02:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by kayla h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when we had to put our female dog to sleep we told our son that shes was in haven playing with god and she is watching over us maybe try telling her that and she is now with jesus and is watching over her
2007-01-07 02:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋