Is there a better way to tell 3 yr old about dog dying?

Question

We have decided to put our outside dog down because of cancer. Our daughter is three and although I do not think she is extrememely attached to him, she will of course notice he is gone and my husband and I disagree on what to tell her. He just wants to wait until she asks where he is and we should just answer that he is gone and can't come back. I think we should let her say good bye to him letting her know that he wont be coming home. Any suggestions?

We do not have another dog, we have indoor cats. DH and I will be getting another outside dog from the pound this spring.

Answer 1

My son was three when we had to put our dog to sleep as well. It was tough. We didnt tell him about the put to sleep part, just that the dog had died. We told him that he was old, and had ouchy bones and that in heaven he didnt hurt anymore. He cried and wanted the dog back. That only lasted a few days. We had another dog so we could not put the dog bowl etc away (even though someone had suggested that to us). What suprised me was that even months later he would occassionally get weepy saying he missed his dog (more when he was tired, or already upset by something else) so we got out pictures of him and the dog and mad ea special photo album for him to look at.
Im not sure about the goodbye part... only you can guess how your child would do with that. We did have the kids give the dog a hug... but didnt tell him that it was goodbye. We took a last picture together but the kids didnt know it. We waited until the dog was already gone before telling them because we were afraid they would get upset knowing it was going to happen.
When my son was 6, a friends dog had to be put to sleep - the 6 year old explained it to my second son and the son of the friend (who had both just turned 4) that the doggie was old and in heaven doggies didnt hurt anymore. It was so sweet and special that all of the adults in the room where in full blown boo-hoo tears.

It will not be easy - but an excellent opportunity to teach about a fact of life. Sorry for the loss of your pet and hope it all goes as well as possible.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there are no easy ways to get through a death "easy" even if it's "just a pet" which other people without pets wouldn't understand the bond owners have with their pets; especially children. I would suggest perhaps telling her a bit earlier so she can spend as much time with your dog as possible. Tears are going to come no matter what and since she is older than she may react differently. Maybe get the family together and talk about the good times you had with your dog; let the tears come out. Explain to her about heaven more even if you already have before and how it's a better place far beyond the stars and let her know that your old dog is now getting a new friend up there. I know it's a hard process but she will get through this eventually and the only real solution of feeling better about this is time. I have lost many pets growing up all my life and I have seen my 3 year old niece and 4 year old niece dealing with the loss of a close pet and it's very hard so I know what you're dealing with. I wish your whole family the best of luck and i'm sorry for your loss. ♥

Answer 3

Ok listen you dont need to tell the child that you are deliberately letting the dog die even tho I am sure you have considered all the aspects and are probably right. Just tell her that the dog died at the doctors office and allow her to have some kind of ceremony to honor her friend.You can tell her when he leaves that she should say good bye because sometimes an animal cant survive.

Answer 4

I would let her say goodbye.

However as to whether to tell her he is gone and can't come back or try to explain death that is a tough call. If you just say he is gone there is a chance she will be worried everytime someone else goes away that they aren't coming back. Then again death is extremely hard to explain.

If you are religious your priest/pastor/minister may be a great person to help explain it to your daughter.

Answer 5

When i was 2 my dog got hit on the road. My parents had to put her down. They told me she ran away. I think i was like 10 before they ever told me the truth.

When I was 3 my next dog got parvo and mom took her in to be put down, since we couldnt afford the vet bill. She just told me sisi was sick and that meant she couldnt be with us anymore, she needed to go to God instead, so he could take care of her.

I wasnt scared for life. I grew up on a farm. Everything dies on a farm.

Answer 6

Tell her straight off and answer any questions she has as honestly as possible, but in a gentle manner. Not telling until she discovers him missing might leave her feeling panicked at later times that something is extremely wrong when something or someone goes missing or away for a short time, wondering if she will ever see them/it again.

Answer 7

i think it's best to be honest with your child. don't go telling your child that he ran away or whatever. be honest...it's a good lesson in death.

but don't get too detailed. just say that "dog's name" was really old and sick and now he's not in pain anymore because he died. your child will ask what is death and you can simply say it's part of life, but usually not until you're really old.

i find it's best to be honest. we're a buddhist family so my children have understood death since they were wee ones and have been ok with it.

good luck!!

Answer 8

Better say that the dog has gone on a trip to see God and don't mention it ever again,at least while the girl grows up.She will forget or will remember at a time where it would be appropriate to tell her about the dog's death.

Answer 9

does she have another dog? are you getting her another type of pet?
i wouldn't have her say goodbye. if she asks where he is just tell her he went to live on a farm very far away. just like people have done for years. there is no need to invent a new wheel. especially if they weren't close. but if it seems to bother her, get another pet. death is too hard to understand at that young of an age. it used to terrify me when i was young, i thought everyone was going to start dying.

Answer 10

i agree with you she should say good bye