Stay or say good-bye?

Question

My bf and I have been doing this up and down rollercoaster of a relationship for nearly 2yrs now. I've done some bad things and so has he, but in the end we somehow managed to always work through it and never break-up. He's done a lot of good things for me emotionally/physically as well, but lately I've been finding myself not feeling the same towards him. He went out of town for 2mons (work) and when he came back I felt this way. As if my love is fading. He hasn't done anything wrong that I know of, besides leave me alone for New Years to be with family. Also, he's going to be moving away at the end of the year and at the moment I'm unable to follow (job). He wants to continue being bf/gf when he moves, but I know how hard that can be. I've brought up marriage and he keeps saying "one day" and I think that might also be weighing me down. The move, no ring, and the hopes of one day. I just need some advice, should I go, stay, talk, whatever. Just let me know something pls. thx

We talk all the time, but I haven't spoke to him about the way I'm feeling now yet. I've been wondering if I should even bring it up or how. Or if I should stay and see if my feelings change instead of jumping to the first thoughts.

He wants mt to follow and I've already put in my paperwork to get transferred, but I'm just wondering if I should go back and cancel them or take a chance and see what happens.

Answer 1

babes you are scared! i can sense it in your cry for help! the best thing is to give him time! i think you should take it as a blessing in desgues that he is talking about "ONE DAY", rather than jumping in to marrage just to please you.it is very nice to be in a marrage that is not forced apon any of you too.you need to make sure of your feelings before getting reed of him! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

It is kind of funny, but when we ask questions sometimes, we already know the answers. We are really looking for validation. In this case, without alot more info about what you both have did "wrong", it is harder to come to what would be the right answer for you but based on the info presented . . .But based on knowledge of what healthy relationships are made of . . . A "healthy" relationship doesn't break up, get together, break up, get back, etc. That is wearing on the heart and spirit and it also causes lack of security and trust Besides that it is hard on you physically. Higher stress hormones produce disease (not at ease). Have you prayed about it as well? I believe God will lay it on your heart, have people come into your life, etc that will help with the decision making....if you are open to what you hear and see. Many years ago, I found myself in a similar situation. One day as I was driving over to do a home visit (as a home health nurse), I looked at a particular high rise and thought, I have been coming here for a few years now. I also thought...geez, things are the SAME at home....time had passed but the problems had not went away...it was years later and we were at the same place. That spoke volumes to me. It was a wakeup call. People change only when they want to. It would be sad to wake up and find yourself in the same spot, only with a bf who is miles away from you. Validate your feelings.

Answer 3

no one can tell you what to do on this one... you have to make the decision yourself... if you dont like him or you dont want to be with him then leave... if you feel that you can work through every obsticle heading your way and still like/love him then stay... you probably should talk to him about how you feel... maybe he feels the same way or maybe he will reassure you.... i would suggest inviting him over and talking about it over dinner.. or just go to his house and talk about it (i would consider the latter as if something goes wrong you may not be able to get him out of your house)... keep calm...the very last thing you want is an argument...it will be hard putting it into the open but as soon as its done you could end up feeling 10x better.... dont beat around the bush when you talk to him, just throw it out there... and stock up on chocolate and booze incase it all goes wrong... good luck

Answer 4

Say good bye and good luck your heart and mind has made its mind up but you're ignoring the signals.

I'm looking for a nice black lady to treat well. Im a kind caring person who was in the same situation and made the break .email me if you wish to move on we can talk more if not good luck in whatever decision you make [e-mail]

Answer 5

If you can keep working things threw, go for the stay, until something worth leaving happens

Answer 6

i would say "goodbye"

tell him how you feel and it might be scary at first or you might feel unsure and just end it and maybe if you still want to be friends be friends cause your feelings are going away and if you stay with him and your feelings dont come back its just going to keep hurting you inside and your never going to be happy


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Answer 7

if you think distance relationships is not going to work then talk it with him.. and see how he feels.. you should also tell him you do not feel the same towards him.. better soon than later..

Answer 8

Move on

Answer 9

There is nothing to hold on to, based on what you said. You actually answered your own question in your post! Move along.

Answer 10

roller coaster for two years-- he should know by now if he really loves you and weather marriage is what he wants ---ask him --get a yes or a no--don;t take a soon or maybe or later on.