Problems with teenage daughter. Need Advice!?

Question

My teenage daughter is a very smart young girl, and I believe that it is for that reason that she has begun to question her beliefs. She reccently told me that she is starting to lose her faith in God, and that she's started to be more interested in all of the scientific discoveries that have occured over the years that, as she puts it, make much more sense and scientific backing than the Bible.

I really do not know what to do in this situation. I do not want my daughter to become an atheist, especially at such an early stage in life.

What should I do?

Answer 1

She has the right to decide what religion will she profess.You can only support her as a parent.If she was younger than 8-9 years,it would have been a lot easier to make her change her mind but now she is a teenager and she has her own opinion which has to be respected.

Answer 2

Interesting that your teenage daughter is questioning what most people start questioning in their 30's........good for her! She is an independent thinker and that is due to the support and encouragement that you have provided her with. She will struggle she will research and she will come to a conclusion that she is comfortable with. So much better to have an individual who belongs to an organized religion because they checked it out, checked out other religions and found that is what they believe and want to be......not like a sheep who is there because that is where their parents feel they belong. There are also a large number of science theories such as the string theory/quantum physics that are linked to religion such as Buddhism etc..... Let her enjoy her exploration. It doesn't mean she will be an atheist it means she will decide what religion best suits her beliefs, comfort zone etc.
You are both pretty amazing women!

Let your daughter fly......it will be easier for her if she has your blessing and encouragement. this will also make it easier to come ot you with new things she has learned that you can talk about together......perhaps you will both learn new things together!

Answer 3

She wants to grow up too fast. She's competing with the 17 year old. Responsibility starts when they're young. She needs to take a look at her future and I'm not sure you're the one to get her to consider it. Like all teens, she is incapable of projecting the consequences of her actions. She has been throwing fits all along, you didn't notice it until now. The pattern is set for her to get her way by reacting like a two year old. She wants the freedom to choose her destiny. You know she is making bad choices. How can she see that? With her attitude it's nearly impossible. The older daughter and yourself may talk together in a group. Ask her where she sees herself in the next few years. Thirteen, she's in 8th grade. Next year will be worse with the young men. As kids grow they need more control of their lives, and the parents need to release control. A parent needs to set the limits and build the trust. There is a minimum the child must understand when they walk out the door. My kids are teens. The oldest leads the others somewhat. If they get on track it makes it easier for the others to see responsible behavior, attitudes and life planning. My kids always come home with stories about how the other kids messed up. They learn by example from their peers, good and bad things. Teens do not adopt the moral standards of the parents in this liberal society. You may not agree with her choices. A parents job is to educated about the pit falls, then stand back, and let her choose. Teach your daughter all you can before the age of 13, because after that the world will be her teacher. It's the truth about teens, good and bad. What about teaching her to find good teachers?

Answer 4

This is a sign that your child is intelligent and respects her parents enough to tell them her feelings. Don't blame science. There are lots of famous atheists throughout history who were very good people. If you believe, however, that your daughter will be eternally damned if she is an atheist then YOU do have a predicament.
Your daughter will see right through the "show her the science in the bible" stuff. I did. Some people really dont need the moral strictures of religion to know how to treat others, but show her how beneficial belief is for people.

Answer 5

It is common for teenages to be curious, question things and what your daughter is doing, which isn't 'a bad thing. Be happy she's interested in learning and researching different opinions instead of taking what is told to her at face value. Those are traits that will serve her well later in life.

I wouldn't worry about her becoming an athiest and even if she does announce that she is, it's most likely a temporary stage she is exploring. I wouldn't do much except encourage her to learn as much as she can about what interests her. If you try to force what you want on her, she will probably rebel and lean the opposite direction to be willful (also a teenage trait!) But you can constantly remind her that God is always there loving her and ready to help her.

Answer 6

I read this question and got a chill. My father could have posted this question 40 years ago. I fear this is not the answer you are looking for.

I started questioning religious beliefs when I was 13. I stayed with the church until the end of high school to please my father, but that was the only reason. I was raised strict Roman Catholic, and the inconsistencies and hypocrisies lead me take a more scientific view of creation.

To this day, I am on the side of science. I suggest letting your daughter explore both sides. She may decide to stay with religion as many of my friends did. Eventually, she will make her own choice as an adult and it will be out of your control.

Answer 7

All teenagers have second thoughts about god and so on. Only the smart, deep ones go further. You should try to remeber how you were as a teenager. Alot of people say they do remeber, but we as human beings put aside the not to good thoughts about of teen years. We forget that we also questioned all that was around us. When my teen started questioning god and religion I went out and bought books on the world religions and its effects in the world. I also bought books on near death experiences by children mostly as for some reason we beleave children more then grownups. I told her that she will have to really investigate if she wants to find answers.
She was happy that I was taking her seriously and assisting her in her search. We talked alot of the different books and exchanged thoughts.
But what really got her was telling her of the things I experienced. Little signs from my guardian angel. She was shocked but wanted to know what had happend. I told her the true story of how I was walking off the sidewalk and a car came towards me. It was only inches away and I should have been hit. Instead in a split second I was back on the sidewalk and the car had stopped infront of me. I started to cross and looked at the man in the car. His eyes were opend wide and he had a look of shock on his face. He looked at me as I passed and smiled at him, thinking we were very lucky. I then told her about the times as a child that I knew when the phone would ring, or I would tell my dad to answer the door because somebody was coming. This lead to along night of talking and at the end she realized that there just might be something bigger out there.
And after afew months , she has a cross over her room door and a angel over her bed.
So support her as good as you can. Look back into your life, is there nothing that happend to you which left you with a feeling of knowing?
Share it all with her and even if she decides on science you will still have that deep loving relationship, which can also be a form of proof.
Good Luck

Answer 8

Allow her a free atmosphere to grow into an adult with an inquisitive and introspective mind. You were denied that , but you should not deny it to her. Truth emerges more from enquiry than conforming others views. Christians are basically conformists but intellectual Hindus are essentially enquirers who realise the ultimate Truth much faster. Faith need not be inherited; it should be cultivated by a series of enquiries. She is at the threshold of the entire process. You as a true mother must facilitate her to reach the Truth her own way.

Answer 9

Talk with her about *why* she's losing faith. You may be able to help her through this. Give her a little wiggle room and maybe tell her that faith has been very important in your life and has helped you through ... and tell her of specific situations.

As a teen, the question I kept asking that was pulling me away from God was, "Why do bad things happen?" The answer that pulled me right back to faith was, "God never promised bad things won't happen, but he did promise you won't be alone."

Science and the bible aren't mutually exclusive. Maybe everything did start with the big bang - but where did the big bang come from? Hmmm...

Answer 10

You should turn her on to the scientific facts that back up Biblical writings, learn together about the times and peoples of the Biblical writings, and how Biblical writings do apply to our evolving world. Teenagers are trying on new ideas and attitudes (especially ones to make you wonder where you went wrong). Above all, remember we are spiritual beings who need to find our own path to our Creator. Not everyone's perception of the road is the same, since we are all given different maps. Sometimes we walk a spiritual road with others, sometimes we walk alone. Be a positive guide, accepting her ideas and talking about them. It sure beats sullen silence or "you don't understand". Even if your daughter chooses to be an atheist, she is still your daughter on her own spiritual path.