Is my mom wrong?

Question

Ok I got a situation here. I'm 22yrs old and a Christian that has a forgiving heart. I live with my parents for now and I go to college. I

I haven't been going to this one church my mom goes to. She hates it and threatens to cut me off financially and transportation wise.

I would go to other churches (Christian ones) but not this one.

WHY? Because A year ago in August through the spring of 2006, the people there conned me, back stabbed me and did not support me at all since I was a rape victim.(Don't worry I received counseling and he's in jail and healed from it.)

I decided not to go to that specific church anymore. Yeah I forgive them but I just don't want to go anymore, I feel my rep is ruined and not very comfortable.

Does my mom have the right to act this way? She doesn't know the real reasons why I don't want to go.

She calls me mentally ill just because I don't want to go to that church and that's the wrong behavior to take.

Suggestions please and fast?

I don't drive either. I will learn how to drive this spring.

The pastor accused me of being preoccupied with other guys, low self esteem and being a skank.

Which all is untrue

Answer 1

Get a job, move away from your parents go to any church you like. If you're 22 you should be able to go to any church you want to. They're being ridiculous

Answer 2

Are you sure your mom is true Christian? She sure isn't acting like one. She sounds very controlling and somewhat mentally abusive. How about your dad? Does he agree? Can he be any help to you?

You are in a tough situation because you are so dependent on your parents. You do have the right to go to the church of your choice or not go at all, but your mom is making that impossible. If she won't budge on this subject, I would try to deal with it, get my license, get a job and find a way to move out as soon as possible. Young adults do this all the time, work and go to school. It's tough, but it can be done.

It takes a long time to heal from what you have suffered through and I don't blame you for not wanting to go to a place where you should be comforted and instead you are reminded of your ordeal and are made to feel bad. If the people at your church blame you in any way at all about your rape, they are sick.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, as an adult, you have no way to make your mother financially support you.She can refuse to pay your way if she so chooses.

Is there a church you can go to that is near a bus route?

The church that your mother attends appears to be one of those that think that their way is the only way. Not much you can do to change her mind. She will continue to believe that she is doing what she can to "save" you.

You should tell her why you feel as you do -- it may not change the situation, but, at least, she will know that you have a good reason for staying away. Do not give in and go to her church if you don't feel they are supportive.

You need to find a way to become financially independent and get out on your own.

Answer 4

Find another church and stick to what you believe is right. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Your Mother should be supportive of you no matter what you choose. If she is threatening you over which church you go to, there may be a bigger problem with your relationship. Sit down and have a heart to heart with her.

By the way, I admire you for getting past what happened to you and forgiving your attacker. Your Mom should be proud of you!

Answer 5

The key seems to be the fact that your mom doesn't understand why you are not going to church. If you feel comfortable discussing it with her, tell her the truth and it may help her understanding your feelings.

If you don't feel comfortable discussing it with her, and that's perfectly understandable, tell her religion and worshipping is a very personal decision, that particular chruch isn't a right fit for you and that you are looking into other churches and places to worship.

If she knows that you are still open to religion, there is a very good chance she will be less harsh with you. You may also want to gently remind her that you've got to do what makes you comfortable and her threats to cut you off seem to be motivated with her trying to get what she wants...not letting you figure out what is best for you. Good luck!

Answer 6

Are you going to sit down & tell your Mom the reasons for not going to that church?If not how can you expect her to understand.I'm not taking your Mom's side but if you can't be open with each other than where's the bond.You are a family & th comunication has to be there or you should find another place to go.I totally understand why you can't go to that church & I don't even know you...Don't you think your Mom would understand if you told her the whole truth..Good Luck

Answer 7

Something like this happened with my sister. She was going to a pentecostal church, and there was this guy that knew where she lived.

He came one night knocked on her door till she opened, and raped her.

All the church people hated her it was pretty bad.

She stopped going to church. Which is worse now since she's not going.

Just like some other people said. It's your choice, You're 22. Old enough to start making ur own descions, where you want to praise God. You might want to ask God to help you, so your mother may be able to understand you.

best wishes

Answer 8

She is really wrong. You are an adult and you can make your own decisions and if that decision is not going to that specific church then she shouldn't be on your case about it. If you want try talking to her but, if that doesn't work don't worry about it. Just continue going to the church that makes you feel the most comftorable and who cares what anybody says.

Answer 9

dear friends always parents want the good for the children's.. so u are old enough to chose where u go... in your case i prefer to talk to your mom about the real reason and maybe your mom have real reason too that make u come to the church.. don't worry don't fight everything in easy will fix.. just open your heart to your mom, and respect her answer.. not necessary in which church u go, the most important if the praying from your heart or not.. tell that to your mom and tell me what will happened.. good luck

Answer 10

your mom is concerned. she's isn't wrong but rather overprotective. she knows you've been hurt and i presume she believes that faith can heal these things, if she's a devout Christian. don't argue with her. open up. let her know what you're feeling.
your pastor well.. might be agitated or some reason. it doesn't matter what othr people think. there is no perfect justice in this world. but you have to fix things with your mom. she's your family. she loves you very much. no mother on this earth would ever want to wish ill of her child...wish you well