Being nice and kind is tiring; how can I feel energetic about it?

Question

Whenever I try being kind to other people, I immediately feel drained and irritated. How can I keep up this act without feeling like going to sleep?

Answer 1

i will pray for you
and add you to my watch list

Answer 2

I think I know what you mean. Being nice requires patience, and that tends to wear thin. But as to feeling energetic about it, the easy way is to find some really fun project which is good for your community, such as restoring a local park or planning a festival. There are great volunteer projects out there, and there are places you can go, such as children's hospitals, where being nice is also having fun.

Take your hobby or passion to the less fortunate, and see how much fun you can have. You'll get jazzed, believe me.

Or, if that's too hard, how about public service projects that REQUIRE you to be a crab, such as the "scared straight" concept with teens? Go visit some kids who are in trouble with the law and tell them your experiences with being out of control and facing some nasty consequences as a result.

Or go have out with the bureaucrats that are holding up the permits on building the new whatever. There are always public service projects that need someone willing to do battle with the obstructive types. Or lobby the politicians -- now there's combat for the person who gets tired of smiling!

Answer 3

There is such a thing as misplaced kindness. You don't need to be pleasing to the point of being servile, when others come to be dependent on you to do things they should otherwise do for themselves!

Even handicapped people don't like to be patronised, if they can do things that 'normal' people can do, just a little slower.

Discern. You may prob be seeking other approval for being overly kind. It's not so much about going out of your way to help others, it's being intensely out of your way. You are being kind not from choice, but from other subconscious motivation.

Answer 4

Be real, man. Your probably drained because you are being 2 faced and not even getting the response you want from other people. You can treat people well without always feeling like a kiss ***, just don't be rude.

Answer 5

Don't try, just be assertive, say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't let an emotion overwhelm you like irritance , or frustration because then you're bound to find it harder to put being nice on top of that. Let go of any expectations you have of situations, people or yourself and you're probably find you're a pretty helpfull and nice person anyway. Just without having to force it.

Answer 6

Simple solution. Don't go out of your way to be nice to everyone. Chances are they wouldn't do the same for you. Be nice to those that deserve it such as your friends and family,but as for the rest of the world...let them fend for themselves.

Answer 7

Swami Sukhabodhananda
RSS Feeds| SMS ASTRO to 8888 for latest updates


One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Answer 8

I sort of have the same problem. If there is someone that you like that makes you smile hang around with them for awhle and eventually it won't make you so "tired".

Answer 9

Be yourself,Adolf,Saddam,Bin laden
These people could not have been bad all the time as much as you cannot be good all the time.

Answer 10

That's cause you don't want to be kind. You do it to impress people. You don't enjoy being kind to people. Well maybe you do, but e urge to be kind is not in your mind.