my ex bf broke up with me in august and we have stayed really good friends,2 days after we broke up we kissed but he said no it was just a gdbye kiss blah blah,another nite in oct he stayed over and we tallkd about getting back 2geva bt it didnt work, at new years we kissed and again i stayed over and ever since then we have been acting lyk a couple and ive been happy,nw we are trying to decided whether to get back together or not. It seems like we r going round in circles.All my friends think he treats me like a doormat and im his last resort coz he nos i'll always be there..bt at the same time it feels so rite when we are together, i dont no what to do?i do really like him bt i dont want to get involvd again if im just going to get hurt.Also previously hes always had control about what we do etc, hw do i change it so i have control?am i just wasting my time and should i just try to move on, although that hasnt worked in the past..
2007-01-07 00:19:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That fact that you think someone in the relationship is in control says turn around and run as fast as you can away from him. in a good relationship this is not how u feel. your friends are right he is using u as a doormat. It's hard to let go but u can if it's not right nothing is going to make it right. I tried with a man 5 times who although we still love each other we just aren't right together. and both have moved to other people now. so be strong cause the heart and head should agree 4 it to be right.
2007-01-07 20:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by shaz pathfinder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like I am answering my own question here. I am going through the same thing at the moment. I have been off and on with mine for five years. Most of the seperation has been due to our on live being a shamble. I finally got fed up about three weeks ago. I rang him and said we needed to talk. I asked him want he wanted to do with our relationship. I was **** scared. My fear of being left alone was frightening. But i came to a decision that I would rather be alone and happy than wait on him and be unhappy. I told him that I have boundaries and told him that i wanted him to respect them. You cannot control anyone. The old saying of "if you set them free and they come back it was meant to be" is very true. If he loves and respects you, you have no need to go contoling him because he will just be by your side, and love you the way you are. Good luck in ur decision. keep strong. Believe that you will never be alone. Plenty of fish in the sea.
2007-01-07 00:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Dimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, move on!
Getting back with the EX does not work, you remember the good times, but when you get back together all the bad bits come flooding back!
And without changing your personality, or taking assertiveness classes, you will never take control!
2007-01-07 00:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by tattie_herbert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all tell him the truth. That is how you feel and tell him that what things you dont like about him. Until unless he treats you right you shouldnt get into a serious relationship. But listen to your heart what does it say.
By reading above it felt to me that you are falling in love. But dont make this your weakness, you have to be strong in order to be treated with respect and affection.
See we are all humans and no body is bad. Its the circumstances and situations which make us do bad things. But inside every person there is a good side. But some people dont want to be good, you can not change them.
My opinion is this, you should first listen to your self avoid what others tell you to do. Secondly you should have a serious talk with him. I am a guy i know when girls say honey we should talk i hate that. Dont do that, it will back fire on you. Just have a general conversation and just tell him how you feel about him and tell him that your human and you cant be treated like doormat.
2007-01-07 00:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by abanat1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move forward in life not backwards you know why you broke up and he s in controll now even after u split not worth the effort to get ln control of this relationship instead why dont you get in control of YOUR LIFE listen to your friends
2007-01-07 07:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take control by telling him what does he and a city have in common? They both have dumps and he's getting dumped right now.
2007-01-07 00:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a whip.
No seriously, I think you should move on - getting back with someone who treats you badly can be terrible for your self respect.
2007-01-07 00:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋