Spiritual/Biblical concern -- my brother died, his wife my responsibility?

Question

Please understand, my brother died just a year ago by accident. He was married and devorced once. His X, remarraied later. They had two terrific children together, my precious nephew and neice. These young people are now late teens (my bros kids). Though she divorced my brother and her second husband, I remained friends with all throughout. Here's my problem -- somewhere in the old testament it is stated that the wife of a fallen brother becomes the automatic responsibility of a decending order of brother if (single) available....This is blood-line I assume....
I don't know where exactly this verse is, but I know it to be valid.
Some may say that as a Christian the laws of the old text do not apply....hummm, happploowee.... I still observe the living word pre-universe & as we now it now....Sorry, okay, to keep it short here is my question -->I never married no/kids, she (my brothers x-wife)was divorced from both long before my bros death....I wouldn't ask if it didn't pain me...thanx

ouch! thanks guys, but I acutally want OUT of it!. I care about my brothers kids, but I will never marry their mother....I have something 'weighing' on me and wondered if I wasn't doing as god expected according the the OT.....thanks

Answer 1

If you looking for a theosophical justification to bang your ex sister in law, you should not look into the customary civil law of ancient Middle East. You should simply confess your feelings…

Answer 2

My first question is are you just Jewish? Is not, none of the 613 commandments do (and never did) apply to you. God made a covenant with Israel (Jacob) and his descendants. God did not make a covenant with non Jews until Christ.

Your brother's ex-wife is exactly that. She is no longer your sister-in -aw, but she and her children maybe be special to you, especially since you lost your brother. She may be someone who helps you with your lost. Naturally your nephew and niece are your future as well as hers.

Pain is exactly that. Lost is exactly that. It appears you are trying to put together a family unit. One that you brother while living was unable to do. My guess is really never accepted your brother's divorce and you have all these years treated his ex-wife as your sister. I can't tell, but you may what more.

What is your responsibility? None. People have already told you what is not required. The heart is a lonely hunter, and may be now you are ready for a meaningful relationship, possibly marriage. Perhaps your sister-in-law is the answer or can help with the answer. This is not a spiritual concern that the bible can solve. The heart (you heart) is a lonely hunter.

Answer 3

De 25:5 "If two brothers are living together on the same property and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Instead, her husband's brother must marry her and fulfill the duties of a brother-in-law.
_________
I believe this is the scripture you are speaking of, but it doesn't apply to your situation. Because your sister-in law was divorced from your brother and then married another man puts her out of this scripture. First of all anyone that marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.) Second the reason that God gave the command in De 25:5 was because in those days women didn't have the freedoms they have now. The woman would have to have a man around if she didn't have children before her husband died, plus she would need to be supported and protected from thieves and rapist and anyone out to do her harm. Your sister-law doesn't fit into any of these categories, because she already has children and has the same protection as any man in this country and doesn't need your duties as a husband. You hang in there, I am sure the Lord has a woman picked especially just for you, but I don't think that it's your sister-in law.
Stop being pained by this you have no obligation to her scripturally. I am sorry for your pain of the loss of your brother and pray for the Lord to bring you swift healing and peace.

May God Bless You

Answer 4

Putting if single in parathesis already shows that you do not observe the old testament as polygamy was widely accepted and having more than one wife was expected. Consider the cultural context of such a verse. It was a world in which women were not and could not be self relient human beings, but were property that had to be looked after. It also has to do with the patriachial traditions of such people being that a woman becomes part of the males family and is then that families responsibility. Many of the verses pertaining to women have to do with what is right in a patriachial society not in a society that women and men have near equal rights. Why not ask her?

Answer 5

Your responsibility lies in watching over the children, while giving your former sister-in-law some space to breath. But if she needs your help, of course, by all means be there to help her. If you have a friendly relationship, she wouldn't mind you volunteer to help.

If you are asking about marrying her, that's a totally different thing. That's personal, that's private. And that is a "call" only the two of you can make.

Answer 6

According to what is written, the OLD LAW was nailed to the cross at Calvary. The OLD LAW is "for our learning". We are told to follow the New Testament and nOt the OLD. Your responsibility does NoT exist as far as GOD is concerned. That does not mean that you can not assume responsibility as a family member and frioend of hers. KEEP them in your life if you care that much about them. Take them to the movies help them when you can and they need it. This will be good for all of you. Have a great LORD's DAY! (See you in church.)
Eds

Answer 7

try not to worry that much. Your brothers wife has now remarried and now 'belongs' to her new husbands family.

We live in a different time from when the bible was written, back then if a woman did not have a husband to take care of her and her family most times they would go hungry or have to do something bad to eat and servive. I think that was the basis of why a brother of the husband needed to take the wife of his dead brother.

Things have changed where we as woman can take care of our self.

You are a good man for worring about this.

Answer 8

If your brother had died while still married to his wife, then this could apply by OT standards (Genesis 38:1-10).

However she had divorced him and you could no longer marry her and produce a seed as an heir for him. That was the whole purpose, to provide an heir for the deceased brother.

Since they were divorced, the intent of this passage no longer applies.

grace2u

Answer 9

Well if you are biblical you know Jesus said divorce is not allowed. Though your brother has passed she is still married in the eyes of God to the 2nd husband.
As long as everyone is doing well dont' trouble yourself.
Be a good Uncle to your niece and nephew and you will make the mother happy at the same time.

Answer 10

By dissolving the union with your brother, your ex-sister-in-law has effectively terminated any responsibility you may have thought you held for her.

BUT, your brother's children DO become your responsibility in the absence of anyone else. If, however, they are making it, then you are not needed either legally or spiritually and may confine your assistance to gifts and love and the occasional dressing down for being twits that all uncles enjoy.

Answer 11

No, you are not obligated. Jesus did away with the law, however it sounds as if you have a desire to marry the woman. There is nothing that would prevent you from doing that except if she refused. Think long and hard though. She's already been married twice, why has she been unable to hold on to her vows?