Social services and the elderly ?

Question

My grandmother is 92 and still lives at home alone. In the past few months shes needed a bit more support and has a carer from social services pop in twice a day. once in the morning to help her dress and get breakfast and once at lunchtime. She is close contact with my dad , and my parents do her shopping and take care of anything else might need. Yesterday she fell and hurt herself, the hospital allowed her home and my dad spent the rest of the day with her. she fell again this morning n is back in the hospital. shes a very independant, proud woman and needing to go to a care home would be totally soul destroying for her. My parents are unable to give up their jobs to care for her full time, and her other son takes little interest in her although he and his wife are both not working. I would have her come to live with us if we had a spare room but we dont.
my question is, will social services be liklyto be willing to up her home care a little? or will they insist she go to a

care home? If they would increase the home care a bit we could sort out a family rota to fill in the gaps where needed

I so wish I could bring her home with us! but i live in a small 2 bed flat with my fiance n 9 year old son. we need my useless uncle to get off his ****! he has room for her and does not work, just does not care enough.

Answer 1

find room in your home for her. please dont let gramma be alone any more. she's 92 yrs old. imagine the wonderful talks you could have with her. she's seen a life you can never imagine.
take notes. bring her home. she needs her family and you need her. :)

Answer 2

Usually they will prefer old people to go to the homes. They're easier to manage and look after (even if they do lose alot of their dignity). They cant make her go to a home, but they may also not be able to provide the amount of care she will need.

You're gran sounds very frail,and it would be impossible for someone to be there 24/7. Whether it be your family or a carer. If she's had a couple of falls already, the chances are they wont be the last.

Have you looked into the local homes? some are really nice, and arent the typical 20 to a home standard

Answer 3

We looked after my mother in law in our own home for five years until she died five months ago. We could have had some help from social services who were very kind with advice and some accessories such as an air mattress to make her more comfortable, but we wanted to care for her, and although we had to do everything for her as she had been blind for fifteen years and couldn't stand or walk unaided, yet it didn't seem a burden.I know it will sound strange what with the comedians jokes about mothers in law but I always got on very well with her and she was a great character and full of fun in spite of her disabilities.She died peacefully literally in our arms and it has been so hard to be without her. I miss her a lot every day.

Answer 4

Others have already given very valid advice here and so I shall only toss further thoughts on the matter.

You mention a problem with falling over. It reminds me of the situation a great-aunt is going through. It 'may' be the case that your grandmother has balance issues (possibly relating to a neurological progression of age). If so then you may be able to prolong her independence by introducing an elderly walker into the equation.

My relative looks weak yet is relatively spritely with a walker. It may make a difference (also you may want to look into a service allowing her to call for help should she fall over (dialing an outside line over speakerphone).

Realistically though, she is over 90. At some point she will likely need to co-habit.

Answer 5

your grandmother needs someone with her. Talk to social services and see if they can get more help for her. otherwise see if everyone can pitch in and get her a home health aide for when no family member is available. I can see that you wouldnt want to put her in a nursing home and yes, that would really destroy her soul. Just keep looking at different options, and if need be, rearrange your home so maybe you can have room for her. My old neighbors who were 91 and 92 lived alone. She was legally blind and he took care of her. One day when I came home form work he was laying in his garage, he had fallen and hurt his hip. He had been laying there for 3 hours. (we live on the end of the road). She couldnt help him. It was then that I called his son and they took them to live with them because it was getting too dangerous. I did what I could but, I couldnt stop work either. So, try to do what you can before someone makes it so she cant live on her own.

Answer 6

There are senior living arrangements where they have apartments for people who just need a hand for some things and they also have a nursing home for people who need more care. Once you are in the apartment, they will move you to the other part when it is needed and then back when you improve.

These places also have activities for residents and will help them get to doctor appts, etc

I don't know what financial situation you are in, but it is worth looking into.

The family should sit down with your grandmother and explain to her that you are very worried that she will get hurt and not have someone there to help. Tell her what options are available and that you would continue to come to see her often.

Answer 7

Your Grandmother has the right to stay in the home of her choice. Ask your social services dept to completely reassess her needs as he needs have significantly changed and by law they have to. Also ask for a carers assessment for your dad etc.

There is no law whatsoever that will force her in to residential care. However the social services dept are entitled to say that the best place for her is residential care. I suggest that you ask for social services to make "direct payments" to your grandmother as then she will be able to fund her own care, this means she will be able to employ a friend or relative to look after her. Email me for more info, if you feel the need to.

Answer 8

social services cannot remove your grand mother without her next of kin's permission,only in certian circumstances are they allowed to step in.
I completely understand where your coming from,i am a social care worker and also care for a 92 year old lady,she too has many medical problems and needs lots of help.
On xmas day i went to this ladies home to help her up out of bed,get washed,dressed and made her her breakfast,she was taken my ambulance that day to the hospital and is still there and i was told yesterday by my co-ordinator that she will not be going home as she cannot care for herself,her next of kin gave permission for her to be placed in a care home where she will get the best of care.
I understand your grand mother is a proud woman as most elderly are but there comes a time when its either do whats best for them of whats best for you and in this case i can tell by your question that you are worried for your grand mother and the falls she is having.
Your family must sit down together and discuss whats best for your grand mother,even if it means taking the plunge and placing her in a care home,the only other alternative is to employ round the clock care but that can be very expensive.
I used to care for a disabled child along with 3 other carer's(it was 24 hour care) and our wages were paid by the childs family but it cost them over £1000 a week(different shifts different rates of pay) so as you can imagine to gain 24 hour care for your grand mother would cost alot

Answer 9

We had a grad mother who thought that the nursing homes where like the old workhouse but when she went there she was amazed how nice it was. BUT be very selective ask around if and of your friends know of any good ones you dont want one with a lot of young people training best of luck

Answer 10

If your grand mother keeps falling it would be possible they would deem her unfit to live on her own as it poses a health and safety risk to her. you could explain to social services whats has happened and see if they will do another risk assessment which will allow her more care . good luck
Ricky Carer

Answer 11

try asking social services about a day centre for a few hours a day, a couple of days aweek , they pick her up and bring her back, she will be with people all the time shes there.