A rude joke?

Question

An farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, and
so on.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting
pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the
slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his
ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are
pregnant. The vet tells him that when pregnant, they will stop
standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the
pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't
take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the
woods, banged each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and
goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at
the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are
laying in the mud.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking
the horn."

Answer 1

I have 3 rude jokes.

1. Q: What do you call a dog on the toilet? A: Scooby Poo!

2. It was a windy day and a man is walking down the street. He meets 3 girls and there skirts blow up (haha) and the man says to the first girl "I know what team you support, you support Man United because you wear red knickers." And the man said to the second girl "I know what team you support, you support Man City because you wear blue knickers." And he says to the third girl "I know what team you support, you support Arsenal because you don't wear any knickers at all!" Get it?! "A**e"nal!

3. A man is invited by his friend to a fancy dress party, so he dresses up - naked! And even worse, his girlfriend comes along, and she's naked too! So they go off to the man's friend's house and the man gives his girlfriend a piggyback. When he knocks on the door, his friend asks "What are you dressed as?"
"Snails!" they said together.
"Who's this?" said the man's friend.
"Oh, that's Michelle," said the man.

Get it!? Michelle - My shell

orangeollie07 x

Answer 2

I totally agree. Rude jokes are the best. If you think they're sick, go jump in the lake. I got plenty: Q: 3 tampons walking down the road, maxi, slim and ultra, which one says hello? A: None they are all stuck up cunts. Q: Why did the duck cross they road? A: His duck was stuck in a chicken. Q: What’s the difference between a prostitute and cement? A: Cement can only be laid once. Q: What's the difference between acne and a priest? A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: What’s better than a rose on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ Q: What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats. A: Bisexual Q: What's female Viagra? A: Jewellery Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour Q: why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack Q: What do a pizza boy and gynaecologist have in common? A: They can both smell it but they can't eat it. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. Q. How do you stop your girlfriend from giving you a bIow job? A. Marry her.

Answer 3

nice 1 lmao 10/10

Answer 4

Actually a funny joke on here, nice job!

Answer 5

great 10/10

Answer 6

dirty pig that he is 10/10 good to see you on stream again

Answer 7

A Cracker!!

Answer 8

lol very funny i liked that one 10/10

Answer 9

Well at least the sows weren't boared.

Answer 10

I have just read this joke but it was sheep,not pigs.