I think they out grow it mainly, but that their needs to be some discipline, my husband says it is ALL discipline!! Who is right or are we both 50% right?
2007-01-06 21:56:34 · 13 answers · asked by Erin U 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Discipline is the key. Kids that throw temper-tantrums are just trying you. PLEASE nip it in the bud and punish them. A simple time-out will work for younger children if you catch them right in the middle of their upset time period before it blows up into a tantrum. Otherwise, if it does get to the tantrum stage, bust their rear-end, a simple pop on the butt will get their attention and make them realize that you mean business. GIVE THEM NO ROOM FOR ERROR, or you will be dealing with problems from them for the next 15 years!
2007-01-06 22:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Matt R 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I am going through this right now with my 3 1/2 year old. My husband and I are finding that having him sit in a specal chair when he gets upset, helps abate the tantrum. This is giving him a chance to calm down and tell us what is wrong without the scream, kicking, etc. DON'T give in to the demands during or after the tantrum, as that will just reinforce the behavior.
2007-01-07 00:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by AHMetcalf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Growing it out" has nothing to do with it.
I hate to side completely with your husband BUT- tantrums
(a form of behvior) is a completely learned behavior.
People like to use the expression - "they will grow out of it" as an excuse or subconsciuos attempt to not realize that when the day comes that they decide to tackle the problem and enforce rules or discipline - is the day your child will have "grown out of it".
Children take what they can get and as they are children and incapable of rationale - they use tantrums as their way of expression. By you doing nothing - you are encouraging this form of communication.
Discipline, reward and pun ishment and other forms of behavior modification tools and attempts at an early stage will change your chiuld almost overnite - if you and your husband agree and are on the same page.
2007-01-06 23:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 5 year old still pitches fits occasionally. I tell her in a VERY FIRM tone "This is not acceptable behaviour! If you keep screaming we are going home." (if we are out) If she keeps screaming, I scoop her up and walk out of the store. At home I remove her from the situation (turn off the TV, make her come insided, send the neighbor kid home, etc) and put her in time out. I make her sit untill she calms down and I make her appologize for acting out. I have had to removed both of my kids from public places and gone home. Time out works on my youngest but never phazed my oldest. She is 12 and I have yet to figure out a dicipline stragey that works. I pretty much just walk away and ignore it as much as possible. Don't give in no matter how much they embarrass you. And believe me they will. The key is to be consistant, and for both parents to be on the same page. No daddy is a softy and mommy is a nazi or vice versa. The "no I will not tolerate that screaming" approach even works on my neighbors kid who screams louder than anyone I have ever met.
2007-01-07 01:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by Wealth of useless information 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they out grow the tantrums I wish mine would and soon!!!! I think it is a bit of both they say to ignore them but really that is so much easier said then done, when they are kicking, screaming, yelling and crying in the supermarket all you feel like doing is going up and giving them a crack on the **** (or in the car when you get back to it!!!!) I ignore to a certain degree but I always tell my kids that their behaviour is just not on and will not continue to take them places if they carry on like it..... It's a hard one all kids chuck tantrums and it WILL get better......
2007-01-06 22:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by jucielucy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can find the answers for your questions from this renowned and reliable pediatrician:
The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten by Martha Sears and William Sears
I love his books!
2007-01-07 00:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by bogey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all about rewards.
What does your kid gain from the tantrum?
Do they end up getting what they're pitching a fit over or do they get additional parental attention?
Our response to tantrums was sweet silent indifference. They stopped.
I will respond to even tones and even silent tears...but refuse to even acknowledge a screaming rant.
Both parents need to do this...consistancy is key.
2007-01-06 22:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by mmd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a kid learns that a tantrum gets them what they want they will never grow out of it. My friends nephew is 10 and still throws them to get what he wants
2007-01-06 22:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur both 50 /50. me i let them have it out. i rember my friend told me about her cousin who threw a tantrum and how she ust sat there and waited till she was done . it is embarssing but when u freak out they react more. oh yeah when she was done she was on punishment no tv, phone radio and she had to stay inside for a three days(she was on vaction fro a week)
2007-01-06 22:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by blueygirly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice is that when you say NO to them you have to stick to it NO MATTER WHAT or else they will not believe you mean business to them... I know some parents when they say NO and then the kids insist or cry they give in which is not good...PATIENT is the key... let them cry, crying will not harm them but instead in the long run they will learn why you said NO to them... after they calm down talk to them and tell them the reason why you said NO... again PATIENT...
2007-01-06 23:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋