I dated a man back in the 90's. We were young and in love. I loved him so much and we both wanted to get married. There was only one problem...he couldn't have anymore children. He had a vasectomy after his son was born (at the request of his ex-wife). I wanted kids. The chances of us being able to have children following a reversal was slim to none. I didn't want to adopt. After a few years I decided that I would make that sacrifice because I lived him. After some consideration, he said he could not ask me to make that sacrifice. He knew how bad I wanted to have a child, to carry my own child. He felt that I would not be happy unless I did. We parted on good terms and kept in contact. Last yr both his parents passed away, and he contacted me to let me know. He lives 1,000 miles away. He also announced he was getting married in Sept last yr. I haven't spoken to him since, I said I was sorry for his loss, but glad he found someone to love (10 yrs AFTER me).
I still love him...
2007-01-06 20:09:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have loved him all this time. I think about him all the time. He was my first love...
16yrs ago we were a couple.
You would think I would be over this by now.
HELP! I am heart broken...and by now, he is married. :(
2007-01-06 20:10:42 · update #1
Oh, you are very normal. It is normal to be hurt about letting a love go and now wonder if you made the best choice, for you and for him.
Love is about sacrifice and giving unselfishly. You both did this. You did not fail in this love you shared. You both made choices that you thought were the best for the one you loved, and not yourself.
In other words, you are on the right path to finding what you want in life, and to living right. I am not going to tell you that you should feel guilty in having these thoughts, when he has said he is going to be married. This is time for another sacrifice, and you know what it is.
It sounds like you have a big heart, one full of love waiting to get out and embrace someone deserving. I think, by the sounds of things, that you will, in time, let these deep feelings surface in someone elses heart. And when that does, then this painful lesson will be worth while.
Until then, hold on, and don't lose your belief, either in yourself, or in others to see it. True love does exist, and you will find it.
2007-01-06 20:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by Steven S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal to feel this way about someone, it's your first true love. After you lose or leave the one that you loved for a very long time, it's more then normal to still have thoughts or feelings for this person. I once had a friend who in a way went through what you went through, she was in love with this man and they were to get married but she thought maybe he's not the one, as the years went by she married someone else and he hasnt yet found someone to love and marry, she has childern too and she once told me that there hasnt been a day that goes by that she doesnt wish to spend with her first and only love. All you mostly have now are memories, but if you really think about it, maybe things happen for a reason, maybe your not ment to be now but who knows about later on.
Did you ever think maybe you could have a sperm donater?
2007-01-07 04:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by natali3x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it looks like you will have to chalk this up to experience. Sometimes we miss out on what seems like a good thing and we make choices based on the info we have at the time.
12 years ago I had a heavy long distance relationship with a guy 8 years younger. We broke up because his immature friends kept teasing him about older women - saying how I wanted to get married and have babies before I got too old. He couldn't handle it and we broke up. Imagine my surprise to have him track me down 10 years later and find out he'd spent most of that time looking for me. He admitted that he still loved me despite being married (unsatisfactorily), with two children.
As for me, I am now happily married to a wonderful man who knows he loves me and in that time I realized that the other guy would have made my life hell. It was not meant to be. Be philosophical. Look at the life lessons you have learnt and apply it in living a happy and rewarding life with positive relationships.
Best of luck to you.
2007-01-07 04:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, that's so sweet. The best thing you can do is to remain friends with him, but move on. There are plenty of guys out there, and there's bound to be someone just as attractive and as great as him.
2007-01-07 04:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we all have one person we can't get over ...
It's so easy, too, to look back and second-guess oneself.
What is meant to be always finds a way.
2007-01-07 04:12:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bliss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋