As a rape victim can I ever expect......?

Question

As a violent rape victim can I ever expect to be normal ? I have been so stuck in a whirlwind...I feel like the water draining out of a tub. You know when its down to the last gallon and the water is in a whirlpool at the drain ? None of my counselors work...my meds suck...I wonder if its me that needs to be able to be mature enough to make it all sensible to my counselors and then maybe Ill be OK. I went thru the slashing thing and that hasnt worked. I got a couple of tattoos and I liked the pain and the way I look goth with the tats. I feel like a lip and nose ring are next but secretly its for the pain and not the look . Every once in a while I get this crazy sex thing on me and get like an animal on the prowl...then it blows away like a mist. To be honest at times I feel safer being a little whacked in my head and behavior. mY history with men sucks. My dad was a screamer and hit me for years. I became a grade B model and did alot of racy pics..... WTF ? Any insight anybody ?

Answer 1

You need to stop feeding this event in your life with your attention. The more attention you give to it, the more life you give to it. If you starve the event by withholding your attention, it will shrivel and go away. It may sound simplistic, but you are keeping it alive by focusing your attention on it. It is (in reality) a dead image of the past. Let it die. Life is a series of experiences and once they happen you must let them go and move on. It was an experience (tragic yes) but it was not what you should indentify with as YOU. You are much more powerful than a single event in your life. Live in the moment, not in the past. Focus on a total definition of what you want to be and become it. What you think about the most, you will begin to move towards until you become it. Be very selective in your choice of what you want ot become. Good luck ... and peace be with you!

Answer 2

Wow.

Okay let's be honest - No, you can never expect to have normal thinking processes. I've never been raped, I've been in a war zone for 15 years, and suffered life threatening (no, not like 18 stitch cut, real life threatening, damn there's an organ) injuries, captivity, and threatened murder. You can't think normally, never will.

Now what you need to concentrate on is acting normally. That's all you can do, and you have to learn it by watching others. Find the person you most would like to have had a life like, and copy them.

Now the magic is once you've lived normal for a while, your thoughts normal out. (They will never be like everyone else's because everyone else hasn't been through what you have.) You'll get more normal.

As for the stuff you did your embaraced of, honestly, there's nothing you can do about that mess. It's a bad past. The only choice left to you is not to let it affect your future.

YOur life has sucked. I'm sorry it has. It shouldn't have, but your the only person who's going to take care of you so you have to drive on. YOu have to struggle for the normal life you want. And its hard.

Anyone tells you different is either trying to make money off you or is trying to feal like a saint at your expense.

Answer 3

Well part of the healing process is getting justice. So i hope you did what you can in that department. Profesional help is not perfect but they want to help you and can. If you dont think ur meds are working try asking for a change. Focus on trying on being a better person. I dont think you will ever have it easy with guys. I can only hope you go for a gentile guy who is the opposite of what has hurt you.

Wish i could help but..... Im sorry there are guys that are so horrible out there....... :(.....


Ps i bet half the ppl will tell you how great there religion is.......

MyPreshus and Sammer I think have the best advice.

Answer 4

Sister you have not found the correct help--and I really think you need to get with it and do it quickly--you are trying to drown your mental pain with the physical pain--stop!!! Did the person that did this to you get caught and put away?? There is so much here and I can only imagine how you want to scream--I think the first step to healing the mental is forgiving--yourself (you may feel like you were somehow responsible) --the person that did this--the people that were not there to protect you --the court system --the police--whoever--forgive them because if even a tiny bit of ill feelings are being harbored in you its going to do nothing but fester--and you feel the pain--and you do --it shows with what you said--
As far as the sex thing--it sounds more like a revenge thing--like get them before they can get you--You have allowed yourself to be degraded by the photos--and the Dad thing--its probably the reason why you have had lousy relationships --you are numb to being treated less than what you deserve---in all reality you deserve to be treated no less than a LADY--

Answer 5

You need to interview counselors until you find one whom you are comfortable with. There seems to be a lot of pain in your past that you are trying to unsuccessfully run away from, and until you find some sort of peace in your life, you aren't going to be able to move on.

The only way you can expect to feel "normal" is to work on yourself, and decide that you deserve to be happy, and to not be defined by your past. I recommend that you call a rape crisis center, as they have specific support networks and programs set up to help you as you work on this.

The danger with feelings is that they become all consuming, and then threaten to overwhelm you, as they seem to be doing now. You may want to mention to your doctor that the meds that they have you on currently aren't working for you, and find out if there is another one that might be better suited for you.

I wish you a lot of luck, and hope that you find the answers that you are looking for.

Answer 6

You are a perfect indestructible beautiful spirit stuck in a biological body you don't want any longer, this is why you are destroying it, this is Truth. Drugs won't change this, attacking people sexually won't change this, a worldly counselor will not heal you, only the truth will make you whole again, I'm not religious, but the truth is the truth, God wants you to reject the physical body and find your spirit, because as you can see, time is running out.

Answer 7

I understand wha tyou're going thru without having had the extreme emotions you're experiencing..my advice is to guard yourself against anymore or further self defacing physical pain behavior. this is self loathing abusive and this will continue until you make a conscious determination to put an end to your anger and pain from the past. Time will help with age but conscious thought works, self determination

Answer 8

by normal do you mean that you will feel happy again?? yes hon but it takes time. it sounds like tho that you are having trouble with accepting what has happened and until that happens you wont heal. there will come a time that it will be better. rape victims never forget, the memory never goes away, but does get easier to cope with in time.

Answer 9

You will never quite get over or forget these experiences. Time will soften them but you need to be strong. Every time you do something to hurt yourself as a result of something these men did to you, you are in essence letting them still have power over you and your life. Be good to yourself...every time you do something positive and healthy for yourself you are taking away any power they had over you in the past. Love yourself. Treat yourself with care and kindness. You were born to be treated that way. Hope this helps in some small way. <3

Answer 10

Stay with your meds and your counseling. If they aren't working, tell your physician that. Keep working until you find a combination that does work. Do not give up.
Let me add my insignificant voice to all the others saying how very sorry I am to hear about this happening to you.