How Do You Tell Your Mom She's A Racist Without Getting Beat-Up By Your Older Brother???

Question

I could just say it and RUN LIKE SNOT but I don't think that will help the situation.

I'm seeing more and more that my mom and siblings are racist toward certain people groups. I won't mention who the groups are because it's not relevant to the question. The fact of the matter is she doesn't think she's being racist because she feels like our people have been through enough. Plus, because her life sucks, so should everyone else's. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters who believe and are raising their kids the same way because our mom did it that way.

I've tried talking to her, but it's tough because she's VERY negative. For her, if there's nothing to complain about, there's nothing to talk about. Besides, if you hurt my mom's feelings, my brother will pummel you!!! I know because I've seen him do it before!!!

Do you understand my situation? I have a mom, 2 brothers and 3 sisters who are not mature at all and they're only hurting themselves and everyone around them.

Clarification:

My mom has been this way for as long as I can remember. She has NEVER talked about my children or those of my siblings, but she thinks my wife's mom it crazy. Okay...whatever!!! She doesn't have to like the in-laws. She talks about my brother's girlfriend like she's stupid ALL THE TIME. She said something about my wife once. That didn't make me very happy. I didn't say anyting, but I gave her "The Look Of Death" and she's NEVER said anything about her (meaning her charactor) again.

I can give my mom "The Look..." if she's talking about MY family, but when it comes to my siblings and their families, they're on their own!!! I just don't wanna see their children grow up corrupted because or this stupidity!!!

Answer 1

Like it or not, most people have a few prejudices. Pray about it and ask God's help. He is a God of Love, not hate. And He will help you.
I Cr 13;8a
1-8-7

Answer 2

I really don't know what to tell you. I guess the next time she says anything racist about another religion/culture try and turn it around on her. Ask her if she likes it if someone makes a rude comment towards her because she is African-American, chances are, it hurts her feelings. Yes, blacks have had some bad experiences in the past, I'm not going to doubt that, we all know it's true. However, this doesn't give anyone (not just black, ANYONE) the right to beat on everyone else because they're life has been difficult. Try and explain to her that when people say stuff to her it hurts her, and the same way when she says stuff about someone else, it hurts them the same way and it doesn't make her any better than them. As cliche as this sounds, two wrongs don't make a right. I hope this helps you, Good luck.

Answer 3

You've tried talking to her, and she didn't accept it. I'd say just leave her alone. I see that a lot with some of the older folks I know. Some people only think it's racist if it's against their own race. You just can't change some people. Just make sure you live your life differently, and raise your children to live their lives differently. If everyone would do that the future of our country would be so much better than it's past and present.

Answer 4

DUDE seriously i really think that if you tell your mom that you'll get the crap kicked out of you the will take it as if you are attacking her she is mom not you man you have a problem it is not like tell ing a complete stranger that you have to live with them around the best way is to gently talk to her on her views and show her different with proof to the contrary respect her views and don't repeat don't call her a racist if you do you will be picking your teeth up off the ground mom is all to all her offspring don't say things with bros around tell her you want to talk to her in confidence GOOD LUCK you cant change someone to suit you just offer her some advice with proof than leave it alone she birth you she is the one that deserves respect tread lightly man because you are asking for trouble if you don't

Answer 5

Well YOU seem to have your head on straight...
The funny thing about family is that you can't change them, nor should you try. The only thing to do here is to voice your own opinions around your younger siblings (not your mom because there's no use trying to change her mind). Lead by example, and take every opportunity to demonstrate your respect for every race/culture in today's society.
Don't call your mom out on this one... unless she disrespects someone you may come to love...that's a different story...
Let her have her belief's otherwise, but show your bro's and sis's what a positive attitude is.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

She's probably already set in her ways, and there's no way to change that. Some people are conditioned by their own personal experiences with people of a different race, and you yourself may not have, so you wouldn't really be able to relate. Just love an accept your mother for who she is. There is still a chance to get your positive messages out to your nieces and nephews since they are still young.

Answer 7

one element i will propose is that, lots of human beings of MANY races have carried out good issues (Albert Enstien, Neil Armstrong, Amelia Earhart, The Wright Brothers, and so on.) i actually am not white, yet i comprehend i will comprehend what you're thinking approximately. perhaps you will possibly desire to establish a meeting with somebody and spend a month with a white kin (without inflicting violence).

Answer 8

i completely understand. my mother doesnt feel she's being racist, she's only being 'reasonable' and she 'wants the best for me,' aka, she wants me to date and marry and keep my close friends all in my racial group. she's raised my younger sister to think and feel this way, but the whole idea never stuck or made any sense to me. i never was able to understand the idea of certain groups of people being smarter, higher, lower, or of a 'better ideal culture' than anyone else. when i was young, i tried to make myself understand, then, much to my relief, i realized this was wrong and i could go about my business thinking how i wanted to think from the begining.
now the problem of our ideas clashing has finaly surfaced. my mom suspects me of 'talking' with a man who doesnt, as she puts it, 'fit my social and cultural status.' i'm scared to death to tell her that, not only are we dating, but we are ever-so-lightly discussing taking things further. I met him at my church and he's wonderful and his family is in love with me and he's extremely aware of my mother's opinions. i want my mom to be happy for me and be an active part of my life, but i feel like this is deep down inside her and i'm not sure what's going to happen when i talk to her. i'm scared to death. i always wanted to be in the open about all my relationship stuff with her and with everyone, but that's not how its turning out. i'm scared she'll blame my 'radical church' and other things. i just want to keep all of this honest and open. but her thoughts on all this are so firm, so final, and taylor, my sister, just copies everything mom says. sigh.
i shouldnt have thrown all this out here on your question comment thingy. but- i had to get it all out. i'm so sick of being in this situation. and your question really hit home with me, i guess. i dont know what i'll do. i'll do some serious talking with God and Jacob and my pastor, then i'll sit down with my mom and lay the whole thing out. if she freaks out on me, i'll just deal with it.
he's a great guy, he deserves to be more than a secret. plus, there will be no hiding him forever, anyway. sigh.
sorry i packed your board with my own problems. i hope you find more help than i gave you!
God bless,
-me

Answer 9

It sounds like my family. Just bide your time till your on your own. Then raise your family as you see fit. Trying to change your family about racism never works, they were probably raised that way themselves. Just love and accept them for the good things they do and have done and let it go.

Answer 10

That's your Moms man! You don't have to agree with her but you have no business trying to "correct" her. She's been through things that you haven't and you should respect her not criticize her! Your brother shouldn't beat on anyone but I can certainly understand his need to make people respect his mother. You have your opinion and she is the parent and has hers. Let it go!