How to keep from being jealous about other people's engagements?

Question

I find myself being really jealous about others when I find out they are engaged (like family and friends) or seeing the rings on stranger's fingers. I know it's because I want to get married but my boyfriend and I don't have the money to do it right now even though we know we will sometime in the next few years. How do I keep myself sane until then? Any (serious) advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Answer 1

I wish I could tell you, when you want something so bad you can't stand it and then see someone else get it, its gonna be hard. the only thing that helped me was (finally) getting engaged! (sorry) my fiance and I dated for 3 years before we got engaged and going to a wedding or engagement party was torture-I ussually left in tears. I wish I could tell you an easy answer, but the best thing I can say is distract yourself, and remember that one day, some poor girl will be squirming with jealosy over you 2-I promise! good luck!

Answer 2

1. Realize that your time will come and right now, this is theirs. You don't want to make them feel guilty for being engaged, do you? This is supposed to be a happy time for them, so do you want to be the one who makes them feel guilty about something that should be a joyous occasion in their lives? I have friends who are jealous of my engagement - who wonder when they will get married - and I feel like I can't talk to them about the wedding or include them in my plans. And, honestly, I'm a little insulted. I will be totally supportive when their time comes, and I wish they would do the same.

2. You don't need tons of money to get married. All you need is a marriage license and someone to perform the ceremony. Tradition isn't the only course - some people choose not to have big ceremonies because it doesn't suit their personalities; others don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a single day. Money shouldn't stop you from getting married. What matters is the love you have for each other. If you want to get married now, accept that you probably won't have a big wedding - I'm going to city hall - but the end result will be the same - you'll be married.

Answer 3

The only way to really break your jealousy is to change your attitude. If you have a guy that you want to marry then you're already halfway there. Why bother yourself with the rest? The ring is just a symbol of something you already have, and the ceremony is just an event to commemorate it, and the marriage certificate is nothing more than a piece of paper as proof. Sure, it's great to celebrate what you have, but you don't have to go so big to celebrate it. Be happy with what you have, and know the rest will come in time. The others don't have what you have, so you shouldn't compare. True happiness lies within yourself and your relationship, not the relationships of others.

Answer 4

Why not just go get married without the big wedding? My husband and I eloped, my wedding band is actually the promise ring he gave me. We got married in an insurance office for $200 with my best friend on speakerphone, it was actually a blast and truly spontaneous! We had a potluck dinner/party about a month later, everybody had a great time and nobody was out thousands of dollars or stressed out with the wedding plans.
While we did it for the heck of it, come to think of it we saved SO MUCH MONEY!! And hey, 8 years later we're still glad we did it that way!
So go take your man for a drive, who knows, maybe you'll be married in an hour lol!

Answer 5

You don't have to have a lot of money to get married, marriage is about love and unity and money should not stand in the way of that. If you two are ready now, then get married and have a wedding for the renewal of your vowels on your 5th anniversary.

Otherwise, don't get jealous... you have someone that you really love and obviously loves you back and that is the main thing. Some of us that are married/engaged are not so blessed.

Answer 6

If you're going to get married in the next few years,don't sweat it.Some of the people you're
envying aren't going to make it.It's good to be together a while before you go promising to be together forever.As far as keeping sane goes,there is nothing wrong with doing a little planning.
scout places out,pick out colors,make lists and that way when you' re ready,you' re ready

Answer 7

You are consumed with yourself to the point you cant be happy for the people around you. That is not something that will stop if you get married. Jealousy is a relationship destroyer and you will never be able to enjoy the people in your life if you dont understand where its coming from and how to deal with it. You might pick up a self help book on jealousy and see if you can get some insight into yourself.
Things will happen for you, just be patient. Meanwhile be happy for those around you cuz they deserve it too.

Answer 8

Get married anyway! You don't need a huge ring, a gigantic wedding, etc. If the only thing holding you back from marriage is money, get married anyway. There will always be excuses to wait.

Answer 9

There's nothing you can do to about their weddings and engagements, so ask yourself why does it bother you. Try to be happy for them instead and be secure in the knowledge that your boyfriend wants to marry you. Know that you will soon be one of those with the ring on her finger. Not the best of advice, though it's a tough question to solve overnight.

Answer 10

Just keep telling yourself the time for you to get married will come in due time. Do things to make yourself a better marriage mate while you wait, no one is perfect we all have things we need to work on. Best wishes!