How can my gf and I get support to get married from her parents?

Question

My gf and i recently got engaged. We want to get married sometime next year but we haven't set a date. Her parents are saying she is too young to think about getting married and say that we both need to finish school and start our carriers first before we should even talk about marriage. I have a job that pays pretty well and supporting us wouldn't be a problem, we do both go to school because we have goals, but our goals have become each others goals. We are not selfish, and put either of our needs before the others. I am 21 and she is 19, so yes we are young but thats not the point, what i am trying to ask is how do i try to get her parents consent for the marriage. They tell her she should wait untill she is around 26. I know we can get married now if we chose to but it would mean a lot to both of us, especially her if her parents supported our decision. I know that they are just trying to ensure a good future for her. Bottom line is we will get married, just how can we get support?

I am not looking for anyone to say yeah you guys are too young and to think about it first. We have both thought and talked about it, from school, to future children, to future goals, to current goals and how we can achieve all of these together, it wont always be easy, we know that, and we know that everything in life is you have to work for, but we are willing to go at it together. Her parents were telling us how over half of marriages end in divorce now, we know that, but we aren't those people. Basically I just want advice on how i can get support from her parents. Her parents don't even want to talk about it until we both are completely done with school and have good stable carreer jobs. How can I get their support and how can I approach them on this topic since to them we aren't even engaged for a few more years.

Answer 1

Great !
Congratulations for having such an open mind and understandings with your 21 years age .
My very dear brother , same as you said , they are just worried about both of you .
Try to convince them .
How?
Ok ! Never start your discussion with the sentence : ((( I know things that you don't know !!! ))) when you talk to her parents .
It will just make the distances between you , more and more .
You better start like this : ((( I do respect your experiences , and I really believe that there are things that you know and we still haven't experienced . So please know me as your own son , and teach me the things that I shall know . Because , both of us , me and your daughter , have got our energy , love and faith . The only thing that we need to ensure our better future , is your experience . So , please let us start our life , and at the same time , be there and guide us to choose the right ways of life .)))
My friend , I am happy that you are so wise , but still I suggest you to use this magic !!!!!!
Always start your talking with this magic sentence :
((( I believe you have more experience than me , and you are the best person to guide me . )))
Wish you the best , and happy new year .
Sam.

Answer 2

It sounds like the two of you have made up your minds, and I would say do as you like. Her parents are probably just trying to look out for her best interests. I got married too young the first time, and am now happily married for the second time (for 6 years). I don't believe that my first marriage harmed me in any way. Maybe it will work out, and maybe it won't, but it will be a life experience either way. Make sure that you have a financial agreement in place, and avoid having any children for a few years. Make sure that you have the ability to sit down together and rationally solve "real-life" problems. There is no way to know what your life will hold for you in the future, so you must live for today, and do what makes you happy... otherwise you will live your life with regret.

Answer 3

Sounds like you both are mature enough to get married. Lots of parents are afraid of letting go of their daughters. Also, many parents begin to feel so much older if their kids are getting married and moving away.

So, some of these hesitations come from a feeling that the cirlce of life is circling you a little too closely! Her parents may feel this way because of their own insecurities. (just don't tell them I said so!)

Answer 4

Age is Just a number. The average age to get married in the Army is 21. It sounds like you two love each other a lot. Talk it out with the parents. Hey, if they still disagree, and you know that she is the one, you will still get married no matter what. Don't let the parents try to talk you out of it. Do what you think is right. If you know you're ready, go for it.

Answer 5

If you don't have their support now, you will only get it if you just go ahead & get married without their support. Technically, it's none of their business, they shouldn't try & tell you when the best time to get married. Don't let them discourage you. Sometimes, the people who we want to support us & give us blessings will just end up disappointing us. Forget them & focus on each other. If you have your plan & are confident about it, then stick to it & make it happen. You guys sound positive about this. The last thing you need are a bunch of un-supportive parents who will just ruin your engagement & tear your relationship apart. Once you get married, they will have no choice but to support you. They will accept it one day.

Answer 6

IF you love her then why do you need to add a label to youselfs as "married". ? why cant you just be happy and get married when you have the financial assest to provide a nice wedding.

Dont be a dumbass

by the way it looks like you must have lost your virginity to her. statistically you have an extremely low chance of staying together forever and it looks like your infatuated due to it was your first.

Answer 7

The fact that you can't understand her parents side shows that you are too young/immature to get married.

Answer 8

Just tell them that you both respect them but you are getting married and you would greatly appreciate their support.

Answer 9

i wish i knew the answer to this. i got married in september under the same circumstances, his family supported us, but mine was dead set against it. i told them we were marrying with or without their support, and we did. they were upset with me until christmas, and it has caused me much pain that they couldn't support me with one of the biggest decisions of my life. good luck to your fiance. marriage is supposed to a time of much happiness, and i hope she doesn't have to suffer the grief that i did because of it.

Answer 10

just give her mom head...she'll really like u being around afterwards