My girlfriend and I broke up not long ago over some things that weren't working out. It didn't end bad, but I told her I didn't want to be friends afterwards like she wanted. She called me the other night and started talking to me. Things got heated and she started name calling and insults. So I told her I had cheated on her repeatedly(which I didn't) and she started bawling. It was a d*ck thing to do but I was drunk and had told her it was not a good time to talk. She is devastated and I didn't meant to inflict so much pain on her but she was genuinely just putting me down out of the blue and I just wanted to give her a bad sting. Should I let it be or apologize?
2007-01-06 18:55:20 · 24 answers · asked by jared d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Neither of you are mature enough to be in any relationship. You both need some communication skills and self control. Let it lie because now if you tell her the truth she wont believe you anyway.
2007-01-06 18:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, that depends.
There is one reason you may want to leave things as they are. And that is, if you think she's totally in love with you and you definitely are not, then it may be easier for her to move on with her life, thinking that you're a jerk. You take a personal hit to your reputation, but if it eases some of her pain, then it may be worth it.
On the other hand, if this is not the case, you should definitely apologize. It doesn't matter if you want to keep in touch or not, but it's the right thing to do and it's likely to make both of you feel better.
Since she's the one who's more hurt in this situation, try to decide what's best for her and go from there.
Good luck.
2007-01-06 19:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have choices in this life. The moment you told her that you had cheated on her when you didn't, you knew you were going to hurt her. I think that by backpedalling now by saying that you didn't -mean- to hurt her is being a coward. If you hurt someone but you didn't intend to, did you still hurt them? Yes. You said yourself that you wanted to give her a "bad sting" it sounds as if you certainly succeeded.
However, we're all human and we all do things that we regret and regardless of how we try, hurting those we care about is inevitable. The fact that you are on Yahoo spilling your guts shows that you have remorse for the pain you've caused. I would contact her, come clean with what you did and why. Sorry doesn't erase what happened but honesty can wipe a slate clean.
Good luck.
2007-01-06 19:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's better to leave it alone, I think. If you want it to be over, let it be over. If you're going to keep talking and caring about her feelings then you need to ask yourself why??You could write her and tell her you were lying to her. But she'll think you want to get back with her if you make any moves to apologise.
Be a man about it. It's better for her if you walk away and stop taking her calls. My Dad told me : " You know when you're doing the right thing when you choose the more difficult of the two paths you could follow." So the question you must answer is:::
should I stay or should I go?
2007-01-06 19:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh please apologize and tell her the truth. It is hard enough to break up and she was wrong to call you, I know. You made it very clear. She was also wrong to talk to you the way she did...but please, don't let her think that you cheated on her....that cheapens the whole relationship you had. At least let her have some dignity and you will know you did the right thing.
Don't wait...do it as soon as you can. I hope she believes you and this can be put to rest. If you can't do this in person, please phone her or write a letter explaining things as you did to us.
2007-01-06 19:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should defiantly tell her the truth, let her know that you were hurt as well by the things she had said to you, but dont use the excuse that you were drunk otherwise that will piss her off.
i have been cheated on and it truly is devastating when you think your with the perfect man and that happens, she needs to hear it from you but she may not belive you now!
it might be too late too get back to talking terms but tell her the truth and if she doesnt belive you then at least you tried to resolve everything.
goodluck
2007-01-06 19:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
unless you can turn back time- the damage is already done, so at best this is about damage control, apologize to her and explain
why you said such hurtful things but don't be surprised if she ignores you or tells you to get lost, at this point smile, apologize again, wish her well and walk away- you have done right by yourself and there isn't much else to be done- move on- there is nothing to be gained by flogging a dead horse and a whining apology smacks of desparation and compromises your dignity.
2007-01-06 19:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly have broke up and you don't want to be friends. Then just let it go it sounds like you both just keep hurting each other any way. Stay away for awhile and then if it just keeps on your mind in a few months write her a letter and tell her the real deal. Other than that let it go.
2007-01-06 19:01:09 · answer #8 · answered by girlio33 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would apologize. It is better for her to go forward from here knowing someone lied to hurt her, rather then her "knowing" that she was cheated on repeatedly. Being lied on sucks, but being cheated to isn't any where near as bad.
2007-01-06 19:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by nena b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would apolgize because that could really damage her emotionally. That could cause her to have trust issues down the line with other men and that is NOT fair to her. Tell her now...and if she doesn't believe you, show her this question.
2007-01-06 18:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by His Angel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋