This is probably a very insenstive question, but its something I've always wondered?

Question

How do not so attractive people meet mates? I always wonder because ever since I began dating I only considered those I found attractive, and really only those who think they're attractive would approach me, and since thats the only way I've ever become involved in someone I always wonder how those people that aren't very attractive meet someone and fall in love with them.

I know this is very shallow, and I apologize ahead of time, but its something I really would like to know. But, I know I'm not the only one who's wondered this

ok everyone is answering WHY...I get that part, I said HOW...HOW do they meet each other

So, if you answer has "because" in it, your not answering the question, you probably just got offended. I understand that beauty is only skin deep, I just wonder how the date process happens in these cases.

Answer 1

I found alcohol and desperate women really increases my chances.

Edit-

Heh, How? The same as the atractive people meet. Through social groups such as church or clubs. They get set up by friends, they meet in bars, they hook up at work, etc...

Now as to why they hook up well, if you are wandering through a dessert any oasis looks good. Along dry spell will make many people start looking fine. And a choice between Buella and Fistella, Buella will win out almost every time. (ok, I'm sallow as well)

Answer 2

I suppose they date other not-so-attractive people, after failing with others. I've been bugged by a similar question -- how attractive am I? In high school, I was extremely unlucky with girls. That could reasonably be attributed to inexperience and a lack of both confidence and resources, but I still wonder about the worst case scenario. Now, I'm not really trying to date because I'm a student and I don't have the time or resources at the moment. But I keep wondering if there's something wrong with me that I don't know about. Whenever I ask, people always say I'm either decent or attractive. I have no idea if they're telling the truth though. I guess I'll get a better idea when I start dating in a couple of years. Good night!

Answer 3

Well there is very good chance they have a nice personality, good heart and ability to love the person - which I am inclined to say you might lack

By the way, ever wonder why a really hot guy is with an average or less than average girl or a hot girl with an average guy? They met to many people like yourself and then met someone who actually cared about them and they clicked.

Wow, what a concept. Liking someone because they care about you and who you are. Can you grasp this totally new twist on relationships.

And after some time, we get older, more wrinkles, boobs sag, bellies get bigger, and in general we don't have the same appeal.

Character usually shines through when our looks don't. Personally I like a woman that does not have the perfect barbie doll looks and bod. A few wrinkles is character and a twinkle in the eyes that says I love life and who I am as a person is much more attractive

Answer 4

there are many more factors to physical attraction than just appearances. the sound of someones laugh, their courage,the way they smell,are just a fraction of the almost endless signals that people send out. beauty truely is in the eyes of the beholder. and what someone even wants in a mate varies from person to person. while there are certain physical characteristics that have a wide appeal ,they are not the only characteristics that are considered desirable to others. just think- some people consider feet to be a turn-on,but i dont understand how. its the same with attraction.people are all so different. but the dating rituals of the not-so-good-looking are the same as for the beautiful people. there are lots of "unattractive" people in this world. they have a wide playing field.even the blind can and do ,fall in love.what are they falling in love with? certainly not the persons appearance!

Answer 5

Because it isn't all about looks. The person could have other qualities that make them attractive. Not everyone goes for looks some go for someone that has a great sense of humor or anything else that attracts them to that person.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Answer 6

The most interesting thing about attraction, in my opinion at least, is that it can be utterly blind.

I've seen people get crazy in lust for someone I wouldn't consider at all lust-worthy. What's the interest?

I think people develop attractions to physical types (blond hair, tall guys, women with heart-shaped faces, etc.), to emotional types (gushing, reserved, open, caring, etc.), to intellectual types (thinkers, do-ers, clever sorts, snarky jerks, wise ones, etc.), and so on.

I think sometimes we imprint on something when we're kids. Something that attracted or excited us before we really understood it. Like having a crush on a cartoon character or a famous singer, you unconsciously look for people with the same characteristics as your big crush as you start dating.

I also think that sometimes pheromones can play a big part in why someone is attracted to someone else. That's the only way to explain some of the crazy relationships I've seen.

As you get older, your priorities change. You get more interested in the whole person, instead of just looks or smarts. You enjoy someone who can tell great stories or you appreciate a person who is kind-hearted.

In short, it takes all kinds.

Answer 7

You answered your own question.

"ever since I began dating I only considered those I found attractive, and really only those who think they're attractive would approach me."

Everyone has their own idea of beauty, because you don't find someone attractive doesn't mean someone else will think they are unattractive as well. Not everyone will think you are attractive either.

That was the why. I read your initial question wrong and thought you were referring to the why's..

As to how..

Telephone dating?

Answer 8

I have wondered the same thing. I suspect that people on equal levels of attraction end up together but that doesn't always mean they are happy. Then there are those who are amazing to some but not to others... You know one thing I saw over and over working at a grocery store years ago was how larger, fat women would have male mates who are almost petite. What's that about??

Answer 9

well in my opinion, I say if the person has game they can pretty much do or say whatever to make the other person fall. Just because one doesn't think they are "good looking" doesn't mean that they aren't. Just because you think they are "good looking" doesn't mean they are. Example, Ron Jermy ( i can't spell his name) He is not so hot, but he has somthing a liitle bit more bigger than his heart. He gets all them Bi...es! There was this other guy somthing like Ron. He didn't have a big heart but yet his heart wasn't bigger than his other anatamy. But the Bi...es still rolled in. Do you know why, because he was charming.

Answer 10

well normally not very attractive girls go out with not very attractive boys. sometimes a handsome guy can get 2 know a girl( not very attractive) whom he has never seen and after some weeks of chating or smsing, he can fall in love with her or it can be vice versa. sometimes this love thing can also happen in friendship and a pretty girl can fall in love with a not very attractive boy or vice versa. Or sometimes these people wait for their Mr Right or Mrs Right. But those attractive or even not very attractive people who love not very attractive people, these people normally they love not the outside beauty of that person but they love the inner beauty of that person( that is his/her manners, respect, behaviour,etc)