Honor thy Father and thy Mother?

Question

I grew up Catholic, and we learned in religion class that this commandment "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" meant we were to always do what they tell us to, and to respect their wishes always.
I never really thought about it much until recently, I just blindly went with that definition.
However, it has came to my attention that this could have several different ways of being interpretted. AND after all these years, I now believe that the word "Honor" in this commandment does not mean to blindly listen to them.
But rather, that in your actions you should honor your father and mother. As in doing good to with hold the family name.
OF COURSE IN MOST CASES the definition I was taught would be implied under this definition as well.
BUT in cases, such as with my family, of abusive parents the def. I was taught caused me alot of confusion growing up.
Realizing now that it just meant the latter. Anyone else have thoughts on this? What were you taught?

Answer 1

I struggled with this myself. My mother abused me and my father was never there.

I finally concluded that I could "honor' them in my heart for giving me life. I don't dwell on negative thoughts about them. I am respectful to both of them. Honoring them doesn't mean you do whatever they say.

Answer 2

I was also taught to believe that it meant blind obedience. A few years ago I attended a christian seminar, where they taught that honouring your parents meant that you should say good things about them in public and tell about the good things they have done. Perhaps at a wedding or birthday celebration, etc. This can be quite difficult if you have suffered abuse from them. If you look at it from the point of view of breaking a chain of evil, it is quite a good idea. Your children will see you praising your parents and they will learn to praise you. Also your parents will remember good things they did (if there were any, of course) and tell others about it. All the parents who hear of these good deeds will think of doing good things for their children. Perpetuating goodness is the best way of defeating evil. Best wishes and God bless.

Answer 3

Yes , I agree with you. I don't think it means to blindly follow. The people who come up with those definitions are probably the ones who have had sweet , loving and upright parents. but that's not the case for all of us. I used to belong to this christian "denomination" that even taught if you believed in God and your parents didn't, you should be able to "win" them to God and if you didn't it was your fault and due to some sin in your life or something you were doing wrong. give me a break.

Answer 4

wise is the man you can see this at a young age. and you are right honor you mother and your father. " so long as what they do and say line up with the word never do anything that the lord side was worng just because you parent side to;

Answer 5

well, what does honor mean? it means simply to treat them with respect. you'll notice it doesn't even command you to love your father or your mother. it knows that not all parents deserve love, but you should at least honor them. they ARE the ones who created you.