Hello, I recently got engaged and am very happy. I have been with my fiance for years and am estatic to be marrying him. I have one big problem though.
I don't have any friends that are close enough to be a bridesmaid, let alone a maid of honor. My family is very small and I spend most of my time with them or my fiance...so I don't know who will be in my wedding.
I don't want to look dumb and not have any bridesmaids. Is there a way to get around this? Any ideas? Should I try to make friends quick before I get married just so they can be in my wedding with me? I feel so pathetic!
2007-01-06 16:39:52 · 24 answers · asked by SM 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi! You are not pathetic. You are honest and not superficial. You are just being prudent in your choices for aquaintances. It also sounds like your fiance is your best friend. I have been married for 24 yrs and we're very happy.. I chose to have only a maid of honor. ( witness to the union) My husband chose his Dad for his best man. The wedding was 175 people--mostly family and everyone said it was the best. Don't you worry about anything. Do what feels right in your heart. Keep loving your man and smile. You are so lucky to find love in the world full of unhappy, apathetic people. See Ya!
2007-01-06 17:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by belladmma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you don't need bridesmaids to have a wonderful wedding! The getting married is about you and your fiance, and focusing there first is what it's all about. You won't look dumb w/out bridesmaids.
Now, that said... if you still want bridesmaids... are there women in your family that you're close to? Certainly there's nothing wrong w/inviting them. How about friends of your fiance's, that are also your friends?
How about men that can be standing on your side? I know a wedding where the groom had a 'shield maiden' (woman) as his honored attendant. There's nothing that says you have to have a particular gender as the person you're identifying as a special attendant.
Again, though... remember the day is about you and your fiance and what you want... and that it is you two that are making a committment to each other.
Congratulations!! :)
2007-01-06 16:49:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberley Mc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in same boat.
however, I am excited to be different and not have bridesmaids. (Cheaper too!)
I am going to have my close family (brother, sister, her kids/husband, and maybe my bf's mom/his lil bro and teen sister) can come too.
(Destinational wedding will be in Maui, Hawaii).
You will not be dumb for not having any or only having a few, if not just 1.
I have been to large weddings where the bride only had 2 bridesmaids (her twin and brother's wife, which is her best friend). Still was amazing! No one cared.
If someone is focusing on "omg, this girl has no bridesmaids. she must be a loser". I mean come on, if those people think that low, they shouldn't even be invited.
You just got engaged. Let it all fall into place. Trust me, my mom is like "stephanie. Chill out! let it all come together and do a step at a time. Have fun. Stop stressing. Enjoy your engagment and enjoy your wedding planning/having fun on that day".
She is right as hard as it is.
I sugguest you look into wedding planners. Get an idea of what type of wedding you would like, where and your budget you would like to set.
Make a list of you know who will come/invite, a list of "maybe's" and a list of "not in their life time". Just work with it for awhile and give some time for you to get it all sort out.
What will be dumb is to have people you barley know be in a wedding that hopefully you would look back on your 50th anniversary and be happy with your choice.
2007-01-06 21:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to make friends quickly just so you will have people in your wedding. Your wedding day should be special and you should have the full sincere support of the people who have been there for you who love you. If you have absolutely no one in mind, ask your fiance if he wouldn't mind having a very intimate ceremony where only the two of you will make up the bridal party. You don't have to have a huge bridal party though... if you can think of any female relatives who mean a lot to you, you can ask her to be your one and only bridesmaid/maid of honor. There is no rule about how many people must be in your party. I wish you the best with your wedding. Congrats on getting engaged. Good luck!
2007-01-06 16:44:44 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!!!
Well, it depends what kind of wedding you're going to have. If you're just going to city hall then you don't really need bridesmaids. If your planning to have a more traditional wedding, then you do...
If your main concern is having the bridesmaids to help plan the wedding, your family and your fiance's family could help you with that.
How far do your friends live? Maybe if you plan a ahead and let your friends know, they can make arrangements to be there for your wedding. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss your wedding!
Good luck!
2007-01-06 17:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by coolasicze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, one way around it would be to have a small and informal wedding, and ditch the whole "wedding party" altogether. (My husband and I didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen at all, just a bunch of family and friends attending.) If having a highly formal wedding is very important to you, perhaps you could recruit some bridesmaids from your fiancé's side of the family, or else think of people whom you know who may not be your close friends, but whom you would be comfortable asking nevertheless. I would say, who cares how your wedding is structured - if you don't have bridesmaids, so be it! Just have fun. Congrats.
2007-01-06 17:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you really need is basically a Maid of Honor-someone to stand for you. Besides, she can be very helpful in the wedding planning. Is there someone on his side of the family who you would consider? There's nothing wrong with that. Thanks to broadening acceptability of the "anything goes" philosophy when it comes to wedding parties, you could even choose a man to be your "Man of Honor" if you have a close male friend. The point is, don't feel bogged down by traditional expectations, and don't forget-it's YOUR wedding, so do what you feel comfortable with. Congratulations and Best wishes.
2007-01-06 16:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First Congratulations....
Second who says you need them!!!! You do what makes you happy and what represents you.... it won't be a true day if you have people standing with you that haven't been there for you for good and bad times!!!
Also people get stuck in what a typical wedding should be like. I am in the middle of planning mine and it is far from typical. So you have any Guy friends that you are close to... you could ask them to stand up for you... what about your mom, an aunt... It is your day and you make it how ever you want...
screw everyone else!!!
You should be giddy and floating on air right now not worried about feeling pathetic!!!
Good luck
2007-01-06 16:44:54 · answer #8 · answered by akholler 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
congratulations..... Sweetie this is your wedding, your very special day, live it up have a wonderful time don't worry about bridesmaids, remember if you have no bridesmaids then all eyes are on you..... I always said that when i get married i would have all men in my wedding so that i would be the center of attention and all eyes on me...... A bride could Never look dumb, and sweetie this is the one moment in time you'll shine...so SHINE.
CONGRATULATION AND GOOD LUCK....
2007-01-06 17:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by charmed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used family members and one friend from work. It was nice having family members in it I used my Aunt , and 2 cousins My maid of honor was my friend from work. I was a bit stumped because my sis who was my first choice refused. It is also nice because in ten years my aunt will still be my aunt and I wont have pics of a bunch of people I don't know anymore. Also if your groom has any siblings, or other relatives they are good choices too. Some people are just close to their family and that Is great ! Good Luck and Congrats!
2007-01-06 16:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by emmandal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋