They all went to parochial school and always went to church. 4 are doing well and on their own,but I find it so disrespectful to butt in on what I should do with my 3 youngest. My 19 yr old just moved out of state w/her 28 yr old sister to go to a college there because I can't stand the younger ones watching this disrespect while I am paying for her college. (Oldest is a college professor) I just don't know if I was too strict or am I not strict enough in dealing with this. I really feel their friends act this way also. Is it this 'entitlement' thing with this generation?
2007-01-06 16:22:01 · 6 answers · asked by jean l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The entitlement thing--yes, I think so. But I'm an oldie.
I do not envy you and know that I will be in your shoes in another 9 years.
If you have friends with similar problems, get together and talk. It will really help.
And pray-actually, that's the first thing and last thing you should do every day.
(((((((((((((()))))))))))))
2007-01-06 16:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by autimom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two daughters 20 and 18 to. The oldest has been in college now two years. She is doing ok, but still pushes my buttons. My 18 year old however, is making me crazy. I raised them very strict as well. I have come to the realization that they are going to do what they are going to do. Whenever I did try to state my opinions that they did not want to hear, they simply quit calling as much. It is a very tough thing, letting them make their own mistakes. The best you can do is to be there for them and let them tell you what is going on in their lives. Regardless how you are feeling inside. Otherwise, they will grow to far away from you and the possibility of getting that back is just more difficult. Your feelings are normal for this type of behavior, just try to hang in there. good luck.
2007-01-07 00:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I can answer this one from the older children's propect. My father had two sets of childen. First wife married 28 years. She dies and he remarries the next year. So needless to say, we have sibblings 30 years younger than we are. The older children were raised very strict, but the younger ones were not. So yes, we do tend to butt in with our father and put our two cents in where it is not wanted, we see the difference he makes with these children. Yes I will admit we need to butt out and let the parents do the raising. As a parent myself with 15 years between my oldest and youngest, I see the difference I make. As you grow older you tend to let the little stuff slide.and you also tend to have more money to spend on the younger children and that can sometimes cause jealously.
Just sit down with your chlldren and explain that you love them all and you tried your best with them and now you are trying your best with your younger children. You made mistakes and have learned from them, Hopefully they can be half the parent you are.
2007-01-07 00:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by seekinghisface1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been raising my first granddaughter since the day she was born because my youngest daughter was very young when she became pregnant and was not able to handle being a young mom. My oldest daughter is always telling me for the past 4 years the correct way of raising a child is, and she just had her first child July 06, she demeans me, judges me, criticizes me at every opportunity. This was very frustrating to my husband and myself. I finally had to get together with her and her husband and put it bluntly to them to shut the hell up, they have not idea what they are talking about and until they walk in my shoes they have no right to speak to me or about me in such a way, and if it continues alot of resentment will come about. my daughter and her husband consider themselves christians and go by whatever they read in books or listen to ALL of the Dr.s advise...well as we all know not everything is in books and Dr.s are not considered right all of the time. You should sit your kids down and have a little heart to heart, let them know how much it hurts you, and that you are not putting up with it anymore. You know how kids are even when they are grown, want to tell you how to live....DON'T LET THEM, STAND YOUR GROUND, RAISE THE YOUNGER ONES THE WAY YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART IS RIGHT...
2007-01-07 00:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by SAM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the mother you earned the respect. They shouldn't tell you how to raise the younger ones unless your doing a real bad job such as abuse or neglect. You obviously did a good job with the older ones so whats their problem.
2007-01-07 00:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of good advice here. You have to make your own decisions about how you are going to live your life. I can't tell you how to live, nor can your kids. Sure we can all give advice...but you are the one who has the option of accepting or rejecting the advice. So, think for yourself, and tell the kids to butt out. You do what you think is right. That's what you have always done, what you always will do. So far, it hasn't turned out so bad. Has it? Tell them that.
2007-01-07 00:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋