I was wondering what a resonable curfew is for a 17 year old girl!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

My parents keep pushing 11:30, while everyone else comes home at 12. I am responsibe and have done nothing illegal, I just dont see the difference in the extra half hour. They refuse to lenghen it and say its not me they dont trust its other people. I personally feel that comment pretty much means Im the one they dont trust. Also if there are any ideas on how to persuade them to lenghen it that would be great... thanks

Answer 1

my fiance is 19 and pretty much can't leave her house very often. When she is home all the time her mom gets mad at her and says shes just always sitting around the house doing nothing, and when she goes out at night they say that she is never home. When we do go out her mom is always calling her and she always has to be home at 10, this is a person that is 19 and goes to college. One girl i was talking to awhile back was 21, now 24, and she still doesn't have her lisence because her dad wont let her. and she is NEVER allowed to go out on dates and when she is able to just get out of the house she has to take her younger sisters with her. I also have a friend who's girlfriend was 16 a few years ago and her sister was 17 and their mom made them sleep in the same bed with her becase she was so scared of them sneeking out. The point i'm trying to make is 11:30 really isn't that bad. When i was in high school my parents wanted me home at 10 if i wasn't working, and once i graduated, they pretty much let me do what i want within reason. If you really want that extra half hour than don't yell or argue with them about it, don't try to say everyone else gets to do it because if you do that just makes it look like you want it because they can do it, which will look like to your parents is that if your friends were doing something bad then you will too, even if it isn't true it will look that way. If it still doesn't workout than at least you are 17 and will be 18 in less than a year, which means u can move out. And the whole thing about them saying that they trust you but not everyone else is not true, they might not even know it because i used to think like that too until someone pointed out that even though i say that to them, i don't really trust them, because no matter what happens, i wont be involved unless i choose to be. They are scared that you will get pressured into something even if you don't want to do it, peer pressure. You just have to be you and if your friends want to do something and are going to try to force you to do something than they aren't really friends, i learned this a long time ago, my true friends are the ones that always had my back, they never try to force me to do anything, i've never drank, done drugs, smoked, gone out having sex with people or anything like that and even though some of them might, they never put me in a situation where they made me feel like i had to to be there friend. Its hard sometimes when your in high school because you don't want to be an outcast, but your almost out and none of that matters after high school, NONE of it. So just be you and don't let anyone affect your morals, if you can show your parents that you live up to the morals they have taught you than they might start giving you a little more freedom.

Answer 2

check with local law enforcement laws, on curfew times, they may be trying to get you in before curfew.

just a side note, if i had a daughter your age, i would trust her friends either, trust is something earned, not given. If your parents know anything bad about your friends, that may give them all they need to pull you in 30 mins earlier.

17 huh, yeah, when i was that age, i was coming home at like 2-3 in the morning, but then again im a guy, and i had my own car (which i paid for) and a job. So maybe thats why.

Only thing i would say to do, is don't argue with them too much, it will only make things worse and then they difinatly won't let you stay out later, just be nice, do what they ask, and from time to time politely ask if you can stay out a little later.

Another tactic, might be just to sneak up the time to 12. by calling at about 11:20 saying you're on you way home. be there in 15 minutes. then actually get home by 11:35, keep doing that same time, and over time up it to 11:45, then 11:50, and finally 12.

in any case stay on thier good side and don't give them a reason to impose stricter times.

good luck

Answer 3

That sounds reasonable. When I was in the last couple years of high school, I had to be home by 11 pm every night during school, weekends or not. If I had a job that made me stay out late (I worked at a movie theater for several months) I was required to call home for a ride and NOT go out afterwards. Quite often my shifts ended at 1 am and I was tired anyway. At 15, I think I had to be home sooner, but its been too long to remember. As a mom of a now 3 and 5 yr old, I don't think I'd let a 15 yr old out until midnight no matter what the circumstance. As long as she's under your parents' roof (and living on her parents' dime), she needs to abide by their rules. They are not doing anything out of hate, they are doing everything out of love. Your sister needs to remember and respect that.

Answer 4

I'll come at this from the angle of being a parent of an 18 year old girl and a 16 year old girl.
First thing...is that parents typically wait up for their offspring to come home (well, I do anyway) or have to pick them up. I personally would prefer not to be waiting up or driving around late at night , as I have jobs to do and domestic chores etc that demand my time the next day, and would prefer to get a reasonable sleep. My point? It's not just about you and you have to realise that. It's also not just about your parents, I appreciate that...it's a balance between finding your independance and having a social life of your own, and not imposing on your parents and allowing them to get a reasonable nights sleep without being up late waiting for you or picking you up. The point is, you need to compromise, but realise that the later you are, you're having an impact on your parents.
The other thing - be glad, in a way, that you have parents that impose a curfew on you. It's a sign that they care and worry about you. I know that can go too far sometimes, but really, it's better than having parents that don't care when you come back at all.
Regarding the comment about trusting other people...no, it really IS other people they don't trust. It's not a pleasant world out there, and I think society has changed to the point that we need to worry more.
Anyway...lengthening time. My youngest daughter doesn't go out late...her choice, not mine...but my eldest does. As an 18 year old here in the UK she is considered an adult and that is how I treat her - she comes and goes as she pleases. If she needs me to drive, i.e. pick her up, then it needs to be at a considerate time so I don't get to bed late, otherwise it's up to her what she does. When she was a little younger at 17 and wanted to go out, we usually said around 11, not 11:30...again, so I could get home and get to bed at a reasonable time. To be honest, you're not getting a bad deal. I don't think this is so much about the amount of time you're allowed out, but more about how you compare against your friends. And if you want to make your parents stay up later because you're worried about that, that's not very considerate of you.

Answer 5

When I was 17, my curfew was 10:00 on weekends and 8:00 on school nights. I would say that you are lucky to have an 11:30 curfew. Your parents are doing this to keep you safe. You will appreciate it when you are older and have children of your own.

Answer 6

when i was 17 my curfew was negotiable and it was gone when i was 18...but yeah, i would think that 12 is a very reasonable curfew, mine was usually 1, sometimes 1:30. dont pull the "but all my friends are doing it" thing b/c theyre not going to listen to that. try and reason with them, ask them to let you try it once and see how it goes, and tell them you'll call them at 11 or 11:30 to check in with them. or try and make a deal with them. ask them if they let you stay out til 12 tonight then you'll help them do something around the house tomorrow. good luck convincing them!

Answer 7

Just be glad they don't say 11:00.

11:30 is reasonable but I can understand why you want it extended. Just don't fuss and act like a baby about it or you'll never get that extra half-hour.

Answer 8

You better be glad your getting to stay out that late. When i was at that age i had to be home by 9 during the week. And on weekends 11 or earlier.

Answer 9

Does your town have a curfew for teenagers? My curfew followed the town's curfew, which was 11 on weeknights and midnight on Fri-Sat.

I think this is a fair way to do it. However, I'm not your parent ;-)

Please believe them when they say it's other people they don't trust. They are looking out for your best interests.

Answer 10

On weekends, midnight sounds ok to me. On school nights (or any other time you have to be somewhere early), then 11:30 is WAY too late. I'd say 9:30 for school nights, and that's pushing it.