He is graduating this year, she has 2 more to go. I don't like it that he is older, but she loves him. I can see it in her eyes and do not want her to mess up. Advice please.
2007-01-06 15:38:07 · 42 answers · asked by raezee 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I tried the legall thing already, and there is no law against it. She was 14, he 17 when they already had "relations". I tried to file, but was explained you had to be 3yrs older, not within 3 yrs difference. Thanks for all the advice. I do not allow it, but we can't control everything, i just don't want to lose her.
2007-01-06 15:55:13 · update #1
Does statutory rape concern you? I'd keep a close eye.
2007-01-06 15:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is something that happens more and more today when teens get serious with relations and become sexually active.
When I was 18 ands seeing this girl that was 16 I never even heard of statutory rape, but then again she never got pregnant either. We were kids growing up, but when you 18 and a senior in Highschool mesing around with a Sophmore in the 10th grade, what wasn't going to happen would be the question.
Now when I look back and see it I was messed up, but I was still a kid even though I was 18 and being a military brat and she was military brat...it seems okay amongst us back then.
Young love today amongst teens is growing at a radip rate and it's a problem that is here to stay.
Your daughter will have to just realize that if she wants more out of life, she has to chill from getting seriously involved. She needs to think about her education and then perhaps College too.
So getting involved now at her age seriously is a bad move for her. If they would just be friends and not get serious it would be cool;Howver, if she has alreay slept with him in bed then it becomes a bigger rpoblem becasue she has feelings for himnow that may never cease. It depends on how deep it is.
Now you can move away and try to keep her away from him, but that won;t do any good in the long run.
The best thing here to do is to make her realize that she should not take reltions any further than a kiss and hand shake and I know that sounds far fetched, but lets face it, sex needs to stay out of her life right now. And if she is sexually active you better get her on the pill or at least make her take responsibility for what she is doing that could jepordize her career.
My Niece made this very mistake and got pregnant at 15 years of age. I gave her the biggest talk of her life that she made a big mistake and epsecially that the guy just got divorced. Statutory rape has occured, but my sister and her husband do not want to take it there because they do not want to deal with the law in the matter. So my Niece had the child by cesarian.
The baby is wonderful, but my Niece is a baby havning a baby and that just shocks us, but what is done is done.
So in your case, your daughter is not pregnant and has done pretty good for herself and that should ne honored and keep her moving in the right firection and stop all this love crap...she'd too young right now.
Thats the best I can say!
2007-01-06 15:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its against the law and 2 your daughter dont know what love is. sorry I wouldnt let my daughter date a 18 year old and she be only 15.
yeah that was at 17. he is an adult now and the law can stop him from seeing her. you can have a restraining order placed on him not to see her and not to come 500feet of her. she is a minor and cannot make sound decisions on matters of the heart.
how many times have we all said at that age. oh shes or hes the one. there is no other out there for me. then like the next day oh I found a new one now.
I do know some girls in high school thinks its cool to date a guy thats an adult. is she dating him because she loves him or dating him because she walks around school boasting I a, dating an 18 year old.
I would sit him down and tell him that its not right and you would like him to do the right thing and break it off with her. if he doesnt I would get a restraining order to protect your daughter. this will go bad in the long run.
2007-01-06 15:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jecht 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have the reverse problem. I have an 18 year old son (a senior) who is dating a sophomore girl. I think he's too old for her, until I remember that girls mature quicker. Do you know this boy well? Do you trust him?
I know that I won't let my daughter (who's 13 now) date a boy who is that much older, esp. if I don't really know the boy. I don't want her getting in a car with him, one on one - plus, seniors have friends who are older and can purchase alcohol. Just another thing to consider.
One year is old enough. Just my opinion.
2007-01-06 15:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by what's up? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, an 18 year old boy should stick to his own age group. There is a world of difference in maturity here.
My advice, since you ask, is to have your husband (or if you are single, you) sit down and talk to the boy. It's old fashioned I know, and your daughter would be mortified, but trust me it IS necessary. You need to let your daughter know that you love her too much to NOT know what his intentions are. And you need to let him know that you have certain expectations on behalf of your daughter. He's off to college next year, which opens up a whole new world for him. Also - even not in College, when he is 20, she will only be 17 and still in highschool. Ask him what he thinks of himself as an adult with a highschooler for a girlfriend??
Time to get moving mom. Yes, you are right to be concerned.
2007-01-06 15:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Meet him. If he seems like a genuinely good boy, then you'll know. Look for signs of how he treats her and if he really cares about her. If he starts blowing her off all the time, or doesn't call her then he may be only after one thing. Just keep a close eye, and I know this may not be on your mind but talk to her about using protection...older guys want to do older guy things..even if the girl is younger.
2007-01-06 15:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by xopinkcarnationox 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know what he has on his mind. You need to talk to her as not only a mother but as a friend. And she dont want to hear what she already knows. Tell her to be careful, tell her what its like to raise a baby and she needs to grow more. That he needs to fall in love with her and not what she has (you know what i mean). She can still love him without you know. Make sure he is the right one. You know how teens are these days. And keep a close eye. If you think there going to do something anyways you might want to think about putting her on birth control, but be sure to talk to her about std's. There are all kinds out there.
2007-01-06 16:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a problem with it your daughter is 15 she should be dating someone closer to her own age not someone older who could be pressuring her to grow up faster than she needs to. But she is your daughter if there dating doesn't have any negative effects on her and you think the two are genuinely in love then i guess thats your call. Do what what YOU think is best for your daughter.
2007-01-06 15:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by nobody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes having a older boy friends is pretty fortunate. Because in the time when they get married, the boy and your daughter will have a prefect match.
It also can be really awful if the boyfriend is seeking sex and/or other unexeptable action from the young girl.
2007-01-06 15:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by Don of dhaka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I,M a father and have daughter that age dating older men didn,t last long no F--KING way, iwould allow it not with school board that may exspell her from school, and get you in hot water with DSS. The man that graduating should know better if he want to finshed high school, and go to college, that sexually abusive to a minor and serious on boths parents because you all know better. I say as an OFFICER also report as soon as possible or you,ll be sorry, if you love your daughter tell him come back in ten years.
2007-01-06 16:00:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When sometihng like that happens boy older thaN GIRL than u must gain trust. First step is just kinda ask about him not in a suspicious way be free minded, then just watch as they touch each other, thats how u know if they are having sex, if he touches her and she brakes free they are not if they kiss each other hold each other they most definitly are so u need to put her on birth control and being trust.DO NOT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU DO NOT LIKE THE SITUATION JUST TELL HER THAT ITS FOR TIPS OR SOMETHING, ooh and on e more thang if u feel they are having sex, get her alone in a room and ask "how long have yall been having sex" she will say"who told you" you will say u just did! tada the old trick
2007-01-06 15:44:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋