He's been my bestfriend for over 4yrs, we just decided that since we love each other so much, why dont we get married and stop killing ourselves. My parents are still indecisive cos they think his spiritual affiliations are different from mine. But they are so wrong. If they do not give their consent, they could kill me cos he's my life. What do I do?
2007-01-06 15:36:04 · 7 answers · asked by Jay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i think u should talk to your parents and convince them, i mean if they really love u they would let u make ur own choices, also u could get ur bf to get ur parents to like him better do something stuff that ur parents would like and then theyll like him and theyll say yes. oh and when u talk to them ask them if theire parents chose their sprouse mabey thatll change their mind cuz most ppl dont chose their kids sprouse well i hope this has helpd u. oh one last thing dont wait till long cuz u never kno. he mite not want to wait so long, or he mite start to fall in love wit some1 else or he mite lose his love for u or something but sorry bout the downside
2007-01-06 15:46:28 · answer #1 · answered by lilblazex7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First congratz on finding the one true love of your life, we are lucky:) Next, I think it's a good idea for everyone thinking about marriage to go to couples counseling, especially if they are having problems with close family members about it. This doesn't mean you don't get married but that you'll have some better coping methods to deal with problems including your family, also it's a good way to learn the most about your partner ie: talking about everything from how many kids to have to where your willing to live or not live over the years. Don't let anyone stand in the way if you both really feel you're ready and you've learned about each other and ways to cope with any problems that may come up in the future. Good Luck and take care :)
2007-01-06 23:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by booti92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a good heart to heart with your parents, making SURE you listen to their concerns, and discuss them with them. Parents are a lot wiser than their children, because they have life experience the kids don't. I understand that you are in love, but maybe you don't realize the ramifications that having a common spirituality can have in a marriage and on a family.
Do you need their consent because you are underage, or are you just referring to their support? If it's the latter, maybe they need more time to get to know him better, or it is possible that you are blinded by your feelings, and not being realistic. Maturity might be a concern here too, because in a few sentences you have mentioned "killing" and "kill me" - and that doesn't sound very emotionally healthy.
2007-01-07 06:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spiritual affiliations may be important. Your parents love you and want the best for you, I assume. So, sit down and really listen to them. Ask them what they think is important. Repeat back to them what they say by saying things like, "I think I'm hearing you say _________. Is that right?" If they feel listened to, then they're more likely to listen to you, too, when you say you think this is right for you.
Also, you can get counseling from his spiritual advisor and yours. See what they say, too.
Your parents may have valid concerns that you need to work out.
2007-01-07 05:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your life now but what about in 10-15 years. Please !!! "soul mate" is a hollywood'ism, they dont just appear they are made over years and years of hard work and getting to know each other. If you want it to work and are determined for this marriage to go ahead visit a marriage guidance councelor and get real advice and instructions. And please live in the real world and leave the fairy tales for Snow white and Bjork. At the end of the day only you can make you happy not your parents so do what is right for you.
2007-01-06 23:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by fsjock 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your parents should let go of you because you are old enough to decide for yourself, I am not helping you with this problem, I am just reminding you..Good Luck on your decision
2007-01-06 23:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by tintanboi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a couple more years. What could it hurt? There's no need to rush in to marriage. You can get all of the benefits of being married without being married nowadays. You should get a place together with your guy and see how living together works.
2007-01-06 23:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋