My ex husband absolutely hates that my daughter tells me everything. We openly talk with each other, my ex and I. What he does not understand my daughter and I have respect for each other and she feels comfortable telling me more. He criticizes me all the time, telling me that I need to be more motherly with her and not her friend. I don't have a bit of trouble with my daughter. She is 12 and nicely achieving her goals. My daugher respects me and never back talks me. So, is it so bad for me as her mother to make her feel like she has a friend in me also?
2007-01-06 15:27:40 · 10 answers · asked by hbuckmeister 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think its a cliche I thinks its a wonderful thing. Your ex could just be jealous of your relationship or maybe he just doesn't understand it because he was raised differently. The friendship/relationship that you are building with your daughter now will pay off dearly in the long run. Like when she gets in highschool and meets her first love etc. You'll want her to be open and honest with you then so continue to build her confidence in you now.
2007-01-06 16:18:47 · answer #1 · answered by little lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children's role models are usually the parent of the same gender. In this case, that would be you. It is great that you have a close relationship with your daughter and it's also great she shows you respect and never back talks. But, in the next couple years, she is going to need her mother to set boundaries for her. She will have lots of friends and will need a mother. Being a good mother does not mean you have to have a bad relationship with your mother. But too many times, mothers try to be their daughters best friend and then when the daughter needs a mother, she doesn't know where to turn. When she needs an adult to say "I don't care what your other friends are doing, you're not allowed to drink any alcohol, anywhere until you are 21 yrs old. You shouldn't be having sex until you're responsible enough to care for a child should that be the result", that adult should be you. I hope you get where this is going. Daughters need to be comfortable enough and close enough to their mothers to talk with them about some things, but not everything. Some things are not for mothers ears. Daughters also need the security of knowing that when they need a mother (not a friend) she will be there for her.
2007-01-06 15:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BIG MISTAKE!!! You must be her mother first. There will come a day you will regret being her "friend".....draw the line now. It is ok for her to come to you but you must not confide in her. She is, after all, only 12. Support her, love her and help her grow into a beautiful young woman but most of all show her discipline, structure, love and respect.
You say you have no trouble with your daughter now...well she is still very young. Boys are not in the picture yet, nor high school and drugs....and so much more!!!!!!!!
Good luck Mom!
2007-01-06 15:35:06 · answer #3 · answered by evieluvsu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter and I wouldn't let ANYONE get in the way. You're EX should take a hike. You and your daughter just keep being friends and mother and daughter. It's priceless.
2007-01-06 15:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all congratulations! and I'm glad to hear that you and your daughter have such a great bond, and that she feels comfortable sharing what she's going through at this stage in her life. As, for your ex-he just might be feeling little left out.
Sounds like you're cool and wonderful mother nothing wrong with that. Just don't be like one of those mothers you see on TV-that party with their kids-or even share clothes/boyfriends. L0L
Best of luck-God Bless!
2007-01-06 15:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Hyatt A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a distinct difference between being her "friend" and creating a relationship with her in which she feels safe sharing everything that's going on in her life. My mom always said, you have to spend YEARS listening to the "well, Gillian told Olivia that Sindy said that Tara thought blah blah blah"... so that when the important stuff comes along, they know you care enough to listen. It's SO true!
You might explain to your ex... It's not about whether or not she likes you, or him.. It's about whether or not she feels safe sharing what's going on in her life with you. That's what girls do. They share information like it's a gift... Totally different for boys.
I say you're on great ground.. so long as she doesn't forget you ARE her mom... that may get a little touchier for you, as she gets a little older... but you're aware of it.. and you'll be fine!
2007-01-06 15:36:05 · answer #6 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...parallel universe. My daughter tells me everything as well.
My ex hates it, too. She calls me her best friend and he can kiss my @ss. He forgets how the sun rose and set on him when she was little and she could have cared less about me.
It's our turn Sister! Enjoy it.
"Daddy's little girl" grew up!
2007-01-06 15:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe every daughter should feel she has a friend in her mother.
2007-01-06 17:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by ctsnowmiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your ex is crazy my father was like a best friend to me whats the problem. keep on being a friend to her and a mother to her when she needs a mother.
2007-01-06 15:31:56 · answer #9 · answered by hurts so good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father died in April of 06.He was 81yrs old. I'm now 50 but about 5yrs ago I realized that he was not only my father but also my best friend. I told him that often and during the days of his funeral I told everyone that that I had also lost my best friend. My only regret is I wish I would have realized it about 40yrs sooner.
2007-01-06 18:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by bindare-dundat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋