My Mom abuses me, and no one sees it. How can I make it so someone sees it in my perspective?

Question

My mom, towards everyone else, is "likable" I geuss you would say, but I hate her. I know "hate" is a strong word, but I mean it in every sense. She mentally/verbally abuses me CONSTANTLY, and physically abuses me on "bad days". She says she yells at me because I have an attitude, when only I'm trying to stick up for myself, I'm an independant person. She tells me that I have no respect what-so-ever and that I only care for myself. I don't have any respect for her because she's braught me to a point where I can't even stand to see her. She somehow turns everybody agaisnt me in this house, except my brother John. Now my brothers are a differant story, they have done a lot of bad things in their life, and regret it. I on the other hand have never ever put one finger out of line, and for putting my eyeliner on how I want to, I got to be pinned against the wall before school. Oh and today, she challanged me to a fight, because she owed me money when I wanted to rent movies. Help

Answer 1

I'm a chick too.wow, my mom used to put me down it public all the time and make jokes about me to my friends or New friends.She would take my friends away and buy them stuff and not me. She would sometimes attack me for no reason. I told her when I was 16 , to keep her hands to herself bec, I would hit her in self defense. Let's just say those moves worked great. I had to always work a job as a teen when I was with her to support myself. I was raised by my grandmother and step dad.
I moved out at age 17. I'm older now 25 and I've got a normal life
My mom is very jealous of me. She used to put me down bec of the color of my hair and bec I'm skinny. I look nonthing like her or act like her. I look like my grandmother and I've got Native American in me.

Answer 2

Awwe.. sweetie, thats aweful!.. n u shouldnt have to put up with any of this.. you should definitely approach teacher or counsellors at school with this problem, they will understand.. If you're not comfortable talking about it to someone at school, you can call up the child abuse help line.. I dont know exactly how bad the situation might be, but there is nothing wrong in asking for help. She shouldnt be treating you like that.. Definitely ask a counsellor at school or alternatively get a social worker involved, if need be, I mean if the best solution in this case is for you to move away from home, they will be able to help, even if you're not 18 yet.. try talking to your friends about it too.. coz sometimes you'l be amazed at the kind of support and advice you get from your friends..

Hope things get better...

Answer 3

This applies in almost any instance of abuse.. You will be advised to establish some proof. Like a recording, a written record of the days & times when incidents may've occurred. You should write any incidents down in a diary or journal. Tell what happened...Be honest.....tell who was involved and who was there to witness it. Police will say to establish a paper trail..... As in call 911 anytime she violates the law---as in touching you inappropriately (hitting, pushing, twisting arms, etc....) cops will come out and document the incident. This will give Child Protective agents something to work with.

As for the eyeliner... How old are you? If your in your teens it's normal to wear it and momma shouuld back off a little. As for her challenging you to a fight over some rented movies & owed monies.... I'd like to know what was said just prior to responding that way... Did you disrepect or provoke her? I don't know hon... There are two sides to every story and I don't think you're giving all of the details here.

This is what I think (may not win me any points, but I don't care): I think you both are abusing each other. Moms need some new parenting skills in order to finish teaching her little girl on how to grow up to be a healthy & happy well adjusted adult. AND! I believe you need some counseling on how to establish your autonomy w/o coming off as being selfish (which, btw, most teens are)....AND you do need to learn the importance of the word R-e-s-p-e-c-t..... what it means and how to show it. Seriously, if you're disrepectful to a teacher, they'll fail you; disrespect a cop, he'll jail you; disrepect a judge, he'll put you in prison; disrepect a fast food worker, they liable to spit in your food. And the list goes on and on.... Mom wants, needs, and deserves some respect. Not for being abusive....But for just being your mother and trying to meet your wants and needs. IF you give that to her....You will her attitude change for the better.

On a personal note.....I am a mother of 21-yr-old. She might say I've been abusive to her at times. But she has also been abusive with me over the years. With us it's that I try to teach her something and she's close minded to learning new stuff---esp from me. If it wasn't important and I didn't love her... I wouldn't even try. Especially now that she's grown up. I would just shrug my shoulders and tell myself if she doesn't care, why should I? But I do care and I do love her. THAT is the bottom line.

So I guess I'll get off of my soapbox now and tell you that I do hope you and your mother will be able to get past these times alright. If all else fails....do as the other teen girls, pack up your bags and go stay with some friends. But start making plans for your future... Because it's coming and it's no picnic as a grownup. Good luck and be safe.....

Answer 4

hey,
i think i know how you feel my father was the same when i was living at home, on the outside everyone thpught he was the greatest man on earth but at home he was very depressive and took his frustrations out on my mum, sister and i!
it took along time until i was old enough to stand on my own too feet, fell in love and eventually moved out of the home..
but i can tell you that if your old enough you should try and get out because the longer you stay there the more it will hurt you in the long run, some people think that verbal and mental abuse isnt has hurtful as physical abuse but it definatly is, im still dealing with issues from my father still now and ive been gone from the home for 5 years now!
find someone you can trust like a friend tell them how you feel let people know you neeed help and dont stay in the home if she is violent, you have done nothing wrong to deserve this treatment you need to know that and dont feel ashamed to say anything your mum might need help and you could give her that help by telling others.

Answer 5

how old are you anyway? My mother was the same way the me. If she hits you ( in a abusive way). Tell everybody then call 911. When I say hit a mean like a punch or kick that leaves a mark. Don't make a big deal out of other things. Otherwise, steer clear of her. Don't open up to her, don't let her borrow money, and remember she has some anger build up from somewhere. maybe your brothers. Move out as soon as your 18 or stay with other family till then if it gets worse.

Answer 6

Well I would try to sit her down and have a serious talk with her. On the other hand, I am a social worker that works with abused and abandoned children and to me it sounds like you could use some family counseling. Those teenage years are very difficult anyway so there's probably a communication problem based on the two of you being in different generations.

Answer 7

Well your profile says that you are 14. This is child abuse and you should tell a teacher or the counselor about this. They can get help for you. You could directly contact social services (community based services) or the police yourself. But you should tell someone. You will be glad you did in the future because it will only continue and get worse if you let it. You are smart to ask about what to do. I really hope you tell someone there who can get the help you need. This does not mean it will ruin your family so do not be scared about that. It may actually help them all out. Maybe other family members are being abused as well? Your mother needs help and this will help her as well. So see the positives in confiding in your resources like counselors and teachers. Get someone to help you. Thank God there really is help out there.

Answer 8

i have partly the same problem, my mom yells for little reason and tries to keep it going and brings other people into it. she yells at me everytime i forget or do something wrong and calls me names and gets in my face, grounds me off anything she can and i swear she tries to take me away from my b/f. ever since i told her im moving away to another state with my b/f once i turn 18 things have gotten worse. to tell you the truth nothing really can be done unless she understands what she is doing is wrong and gets some help, the best thing you can do is continue with your life and try to stay out of her way as much as possible, get a good job and move out as soon as you can. or you can find a way to film what goes on in your house and show it to someone like the police so they can have your mom go get help

Answer 9

You need to find an organization willing to "hold your hand" in the reporting process. You obviously aren't happy, and the sooner you get out of this the better. You need help, and so does your Mom. Try the United Way, or perhaps a local church or battered women's group can help. Remember, when you get older and possibly have children, it is your responsibility not to do the same things that your Mom does to you, to your children. DO NOT LET THE CYCLE REPEAT!

Answer 10

if the pinning to the wall is abuse to you its really not,look at it from your moms point of veiw,she probably was a wild child when she was young and is very worried that you are going the same way,my grandmother said to my mother ,i hope you have a daughter that hurts you like you hurt me,and it never ends.You can put a stop to this right now by hugging your mother and telling her your sorry,and she can keep the money she owes you ,because you owe her much more,she brought you into this world when she could have aborted you!