what to do?

Question

My bestfriend is mad or upset with me becasue i wont go to the bars with her any more since ive started seeing my boyfriend ( been dating for 3 months now ) she said that i've changed and i dont wanna go do anything with her anymore . I still go an see her an hang out with her but every time i go to her house she wants to go to the bar. I have told her i cant that im seeing my bf and dont think he would like it to much. now she hardly speaks to me at all! i've talked to my bf about this but he hates her so he is no help.
does she have a reason to be so mad at me?

Answer 1

First the decision not to go to bars is a moral one YOU make. It has little/nothing to do with what HE wants. I would think that even if he approved, Your morals would prohibit you from going because it is YOU who feels it would be inappropriate.
Your friend (if she truly is one) should be respectful of your moral values and treasure the time/places/activities you do share with her. If she wants to go to bars then she can go alone or find another bar friend.
She should realize/expect things to change since you are now in a female/male romantic meaningful relationship, or trying to. A friend should/would respect you and your situation.
As to your BF he should not waste energy hating her but instead use it to appreciate having a girl that has the strength to say no and stick to what she thinks is right, in her mind. It sounds like He is very insecure and maybe you should think/reevaluate your relationship with both.
You don''t need the hassle. So I would be firm with both and if either can not appreciate you than YOU need to find a "friend" and "boy friend" that does. Stick to your guns.

Answer 2

she must be missing your company and what you two used to do together. or she must be feeing lonely if she doesn't have a partner. I can suggest 'something' but nobody knows what works when emotions and not brains are involved.

Instead of saying that your BF doesn't like it, which shows that you are becoming his slave, why not think and do things you like? Even if you want to please your BF, better not bring his name when you are doing those things. Just tell your friend that you don't like to go to bar. Or stop going slowly without her noticing much of a drastic change. The whole point is, you need to learn to balance everything in life.

You need good friends and also good relationships in your life. But at the same time having something what is called your individuality is also very important.

Hey, why not invite both your friend and boy friend to bar one evening? And also plan out something which your BF likes. Make sure that you get a partner for her too and don't get too intimate when she is around. Make it a fun gathering.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Dump the friend and keep the boyfriend and live happly ever after. Or keep the friend and ditch the boyfriend! Its your life and no one can live it but you. You honestly shouldn't have had to ask this question If you were a real thinker of what if? And if you think that you might be able to return to your old ways after you might get married then don't get married!!! You wouldn't want to see your man going to bars and looking at other women so don't do it to him---"do unto others as you would have them to do unto you" really is true and it works just that way!! SEE YOU LATER .

Answer 4

She's upset because she's lost her best friend. To her, this change for you was bad. If she's a true friend, she'll get over it. But there is really nothing here you have much control over. Tell her how much you enjoy her company, but since you have a bf, you don't want to go drinking with her anymore. If she can't come to terms with the new rules, it's her loss.

Answer 5

well I can understand why she is upset. She feels like you are choosing your boyfriend over her, especially since he hates her. You have to ask your self,why are you not going to the bar. Is it because you just don't like it any more or feel like there isn't anything for you there, or is it because your boyfriend says he dosen't want you to go.If it is because he doesn't want you to go you should really think if you want to change your life for a guy You have only been dating a few months.Why don't you make palns once a month to go to Dancing if thats what you like. or to a bar and grill where you can eat and have a few drinks without it being a normal bar like atmopher.

Answer 6

If you go to visit your friend, then I don't see why there should be a problem. If she only wants to see you if you go to the bar with her, then you have to ask yourself what kind of friend she really is. Why don't your boyfriend and your friend like each other? It seems to me that there's more going on here. See if you can find out what the real issue is.

Answer 7

Well know she should understand and im sure that it is a jelousy thing. before your boyfriend she had you all to herself and now she don't. Don't sweat it!!! I don't blame you for not going to the bars. I wouldn't want my bf to go and i wouldn't go out of respect for him. Trust me if she was in the same sit. as yours she wouldn't either.. All you can do it try to talk to her if that dont' work just let the relationship ride from there... Good luck and best wishes

Answer 8

She probably thinks that you dont care about her as a friend any more, and that you dont want to hang out with her because you have a bf. If you make no effort to hang out with her than she has a reason to be mad, but if you do make an effort, she has no reason to be mad.

Answer 9

You know what, she resents you. She wants what you have. Recommend another place to go to meet someone to hang out. A bar is not a place to pick up men anyways. Try maybe a minni bar inside a restaurant, that way it works out for both of you, restaurant/bar.

Answer 10

You can point out that now You have a boyfriend, and it wouldn't be right for me to go out to a bar. We can go out to eat at a restaurant, or go shopping. Try saying what the two of you can do- rather than what you can't or won't.