My girlfriend's parents are devoutly Catholic, and they have a problem with me because I'm an atheist. They try to get me to go to church with them weekly, and she has told me that her parents do not approve of me. My girlfriend isn't as fanatic as her parents, and I don't want this to be a reason for us to break up. I'm really just looking for a way to make her parents like me and see that I am a good person even though I don't share her beliefs. Any suggestions?
2007-01-06 13:55:04 · 27 answers · asked by Science H. Logic 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Tell them they can either respect your beliefs or disaprove. Then try to convert them to being atheists. When they get upset, then say "See how that feels"?
2007-01-06 13:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 5⤊ 4⤋
Start by making it clear that you are a good person, even if you don't share their beliefs. Then try to address their concerns, without arguing with them. It might help to see where they're coming from.
Their concern is very likely to be how your future kids will be raised (as a former Catholic, I can tell you that they look very far down the road when there is a boyfriend or girlfriend in the picture). If the relationship isn't heading for marriage, make sure they know that. If it is, I don't know what to suggest, it's gonna be rough.
2007-01-06 14:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its about you and your girlfriend. Do her parents have strong influence over her? If yes then go along and listen act like you are learning. Say you need more time and tell them they might be right. If you strongly oppose them they will try to get ride of you. Once they get to know you maybe they will over look it.
If your gf cares little about her parents wishes and cares more for yours. Then who cares buy them "the god delusion" by Richard Dawkins for xmas. (I would)
Any way what i do when i first date a girl when religion comes up i say "I was raised Catholic but im not very religious." Or i can cut it short "I was raised Catholic" In the end they find out i dont believe in God. Its just matter that its to late for them not for me.
edit: I think if you tell them you want your kids atheist they will flip!! So dont......
2007-01-06 14:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, but - the relationship is doomed. She may not be a "fanatic' as you say - but she's still a good Catholic. There is no Priest in the world who would ever marry you to her, and I guarantee that the parents will insist on a Catholic wedding.
Sorry.
2007-01-06 14:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Other than run for the hills because if you have a life with her they will never stop badgering you? Well the only thing would to be to sit everyone down together and explaine that this is your belief and it's not going to change and that they should not ask you to change just like you are not asking them to. If they are good people they'll back off, if not at least you tried to make peace and you are no longer to blame.
2007-01-06 14:03:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though they are a bit dogmatic in their beliefs and you in yours Iam not of either one so try and find a common ground you can all agree on try and understand you dont have to agree remember they have been strongly convinced that if their daughter went with you she would leave the church (a mortal sin for catholics ) I did 36 yrs ago and couldnt be happier Iam a Christian not a catholic was one growing up so I am giving you the benefit of an inside point of view and they are afraid for her that she will die and go to hell (nonsense) but that what they believe so they are scared for her do a little research what do they like what are their hobbies get to know them as persons ask the daughter do a little digging meet them on common non religious grounds ie do they like to play golf fish ect get the point hope it all works out for you let me know best wishes gorbalizer
2007-01-06 14:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by gorbalizer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very complicated problem. I used to be Catholic once, it's OK but it wasn't for me. If they are very devout and fanatic, I don't feel that they will ever accept you because to them, if you are not Catholic then you will "not be married in the eyes of Gd" and therefore in sin.
I feel that what matters is that your g/f and you are happy, they cannot control what both of you do, so don't let it get to you. Just focus on your relationship. The in-laws...well politely ignore their fanaticism.
2007-01-06 14:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm an atheist that married a catholic. (We're both atheists now tho! :) ) The parents were pretty hands off though. I would try to get them to NOT talk about religion as much as I could. Talk about the things that interest you, the causes you believe in or charities you support so that they can see you're a good person. I dunno how old you are, but if you're over 20, you don't have to depend on the parents liking you so much. Tell your gf that it troubles you and then it'll be up to her to encourage her parents to back off.
2007-01-06 13:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by Laptop Jesus 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first - quote them Mark 6 verse 11
11 If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.’
If no one’s listening to what you have to say, don’t hit them over the head with it; don’t rant, don’t rave, don’t saw the saw dust, but shake the dust off your feet; move on and go to the next place (or person)
If the above verse does not work then its time for step 2.
If she does not tell her parents to shut up and stop harrassing you (and it is harrassment) she will move out, then she's no good for you.
step 3 is if you have to threaten harrassment and calling police
I am a deist (not quite atheist but certainly non-christian), I married a lapsed Catholic. Our son was baptised catholic purely so that he could be educated in the catholic school system (in Canada). They have smaller classes & the teachers are able to spend much more time with each child, than in the public schools. He gets all the religious education he needs at school, none at home. If he asks questions, I will give him a Deist answer, not a catholic one.
2007-01-06 17:03:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just explain to them that atheists can be moral without a god (that really... theism turns people away from moral actions a lot of times) and that you CAN'T believe until you see evidence. Just try to educate them or stay away from them. If your girlfriend accepts you for who you are she should stand up to her parents and tell them to stop bothering you. If you don't try and convert them to atheism, they should do the same and not try to convert you to Catholicism.
Also, showing them that the prison population is 75% Christian and .2% atheist should say something to them.
2007-01-06 14:03:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do dont go to that catholic church ,If you dont believe in God Now then that place will scare you even more away .You have a better chance of converting her into atheism than her converting you into catholism . Catholics Hate god worse than you do
2007-01-06 14:02:51 · answer #11 · answered by Terry S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋