To those of you who have children, do you enjoy being a parent?

Question

And did your marital satisfaction go down after having children? Do you feel like you lost yourself by having kids? Was it a good thing overall or do you sometimes have doubts?

Answer 1

My child is my world seeing her every morning when i wake up feels my heart with joy.
My marital satisfaction when way down.. I always used to buy things for myself now i put her first. If i have something in my chart for myself but then i find something for her and dint have anuf for both ill put my thing away and get hers.
I din't feel like i lost myself when i had my child. Yes there are days i miss going out and just getting up and going somewhere but i would not change it for the world.
Every parent has doubts in what they are doing.. that what makes a good parent. but It is a good thing overall. I never doubted having her just the fact I'm doing things right.

Answer 2

Yes, I enjoy being a parent. I wasn't someone who has always felt that I wanted children, either. In fact, my first child was a "surprise" and I was very upset. Now I have found every single day I learn something new from them - how to enjoy simple moments - how the simplest little things can be so funny or enjoyable. I have not only grown as a person, but my marriage has become stronger & even our sex life has become more fulfilling. I am not saying there aren't stressful times - but I certainly didn't feel like I lost myself to my children. My husband and I set bedtimes for our children, so that every night we have at least a few hours alone together. We make a point of going out every so often alone together. Our lives changed drastically - no going out at the last minute, etc., but we found many other ways to enjoy our time at home. We watch movies together & make special snacks when we do that; we play board games, invite friends over, go to the park with the kids. It is just different now. I sometimes have doubts about how effectively I parent, but I have never once, since holding my child in my arms, regretted becoming a parent. We have very good communication and my husband helps out more than a lot of husbands. If I am exceptionally tired or have a big day the next day, he will make a point of getting up with the baby so I can rest, and vice versa. (we both work outside the home). When you share responsibilities that way, resentment doesn't build up and I have much more energy for "extracurricular" activities. I know this is often an issue for new mothers. They are exhausted, don't get the help they need, and their husband's are wanting some attention. So, we are just clear with each other about what we need and work together. Anyway, I have rambled on a bit, but I hope this helps!

Answer 3

I have three children, all twenty-one months apart (2, 4, and 6 yrs). I do enjoy it very much. It's the hardest job in the world, though, and it took having a child to show me how selfish I could really be. It's made me grow as a person. My marital satisfaction increased, I think, because we were no longer living for ourselves. We both had a vested interest in the little lives God gave us and we united more than ever with a common cause. I never had doubts about having children. That's not to say that there weren't times I wanted to send them all to the moon, but I get over it quick with each hug and kiss they give me at the end of the day.

Answer 4

I love being a parent. It is hard work and there are hard times now and then but I wouldn't change it for anything. We're expecting baby #3 in Feb/Mar and already making plans to try for baby #4.

Honestly my marital satisfaction has only gone up. My husband and I were together for six years before we had our first child. I really believe that makes a difference. We had a lot of time to be a couple before we added in the stress of being parents. We are very close and make a great team. Things have only gotten better. Not that things are perfect but we have a great relationship.

I don't feel like I've lost myself at all. I refuse to define myself as "mom". I am a mom but I'm more than that. I've continued to do my own things and follow my own interests. I love my kids but I have a life too. I'm not one of those women who's entire life revolves around her children and she gives up everything for them. I think that is one of the worst things you can do as a parent.

I have no doubts at all. I love my boys and I love the idea of having more kids running around. Our house is not quiet and I like it that way. We also have two cats and a crazy dog!! We like a bit of chaos in our household! :)

Answer 5

It is very trying at times, but I love being a mother! It is amazing to watch your child learn something new for the first time, or to just see the wonder on their face over everything they are seeing and experiencing for the first time.

As far a marital satisfaction, my husband and I do fight more often and the sex is next to nil. Although we talk often and are making things work.

I would never trade in what I have right now, a beautiful baby boy and an amazing husband that I love more than anything.

Answer 6

Like a lot of people I have my days. I like some aspects of being a parent more that others. After they are asleep is good :-)
I think it got a lot harder being a married couple after children. There seems to be less time to discuss issues and have couple time together. We are often tired and distracted. I went back to work when my oldest was 5 months so I have kept that part of my identity as a person but it has come at a cost. I am now pulled in many directions and it is difficult to balance the many demands on my time and attention. I have the occasional doubt about being a good parent but to be honest it's not often as being a parent does have rewards. They can be so darn cute and it's fascinating watching this little person becoming a real little individual as they grow. I think it is important to find time for you and it's important to find couple time. How you do that is negotiable. Hopefully your partner is supportive.

Answer 7

I have never doubted wether i should be a parent, but everything does change when you have kids. I love being a parent, and my marriage is just as good now as it was before our children came along. The only thing is now its the kids first then time for us, but its rewarding in so many ways. I don't think i lost myself, i feel like i gained a new part of me. I am so different now that i have kids and i appreciate little things in life. My patience is better then it was before kids, and i have more understanding now for people. Kids can be a great thing for people who are ready. I'm lucky to have my children :-)

Answer 8

I am the mother of 4 kids and I definately enjoy all of them. My kids range in age from 7 to 13. My kids make me who I am. I wouldnt say my marital satisfation went down after having children, but it was harder to spend time alone with my husband (especially the more kids we had) But I know people that have weekly date nights even after having kids. They work it out with someone else that has kids around the same age and they watch each others kids (for free) so they can go out alone.
HTH

Answer 9

I can't even imagine my life without my kids. I think my marriage may have ended if we never had children. But that is not the same for everyone. I have a friend, she's 40 been married for 9 years and never had kids. They enjoy cruises and many other activites we don't get to do. But they do have 3 dogs that fill the void So it's whatever fits into your lifestyle.

Answer 10

Although he'll never admit it, my husband became jealous after our first child and sought someone else who would give all of her attention to him who didn't have kids. Being a parent is the best thing in the world, but it's also the most difficult. Having to discipline a little child who loves you so the first time is the hardest thing in the world. It definitely defined me as a person, and continues to do so. It was the first thing I had ever done in my life that really felt natural.