How should I handle my parents' aging?

Question

Hi, my parents are getting older (early to mid 60's) and I am noticing their aging as having an impact on their memories.

I get frustrated a lot, even though I understand it was inevitable and it will happen to me as well. My Dad is the most intellectual person I know, and I also go to him for advice and to learn about new things. Now I'm noticing that he loses track of what he's talking about, ignores my questions, and sometimes I question what he states as a fact.

My Mom is losing her memory also as she forgets to do semi-important things sometimes and she has lost her drive to learn/try new things.

I'm in my late 20's (living at home) and find it's getting harder to maintain my own life (work, friends, hobbies, leisure) as I spend more and more time helping my parents with things I know they can do, they just won't.

Please don't think I'm spoiled or ungrateful, I do a lot of house work myself, paying for groceries, cooking, cleaning, keeping the house in order.

Don't get me wrong, my parents do a lot, things just don't seem balanced anymore...It's like, parents teach you to do things right when you're younger, and now I'm reminding them to do the same :P

Answer 1

It's alot to bare, I know how you feel. You don't want to abandon them and you don't want to lose your sanity at the same time. I suggest that you look into a home health aid through a good agency to come over a couple times a week to keep them active and entertained whenever you are busy or just need to escape. Find someone you like (they aren't expensive) and make sure your parents are comfortable. I think that the aid will help them be more active emotionally, mentally and physically and will increase their attention span etc. since she will be interacting with them on a regular basis - it's better than having them watch t.v. or play boring games etc. I assume that you are having them tested for Alzheimer's.
God Bless You and Good Luck

Answer 2

I understand what you are going through, my parents were mid-aged when they had me.

It sucks that you have to deal with this earlier than a lot of people, but this is how life is.

I agree with above statements about it possibly being early signs of alzhiemer's/dementia... don't use these words (as to not offend/scare them), but ask your parents about seeing a doctor for their memory.

Don't expect too much from them. As you age, it is natural to want to slow down. Most people are less inclined to try new things as they get older. Very normal, and its not that bad of a thing.

It sounds like you live with them? If it is too hard on your personal life, maybe you could go get a place of your own. When they have each other, they'll probably be fine. You can always come up and visit them and help out during weekends or when you have time to spare.

Answer 3

Your brothers are treating Dad like a infant. considered one of those disgrace. on the age whilst he desires to have friends and hobbies the main, they discourage that. he's not their infant.they are his toddlers. for the reason that brothers look unreasonable and pa would not look to compliment to stand as much as them, what could be carried out? He might have been crushed down with the aid of your mom and is reluctant to argue( sorry, if I interpreted that incorrect. i don't mean to offend). yet perhaps, Micol has a competent factor. Can dad get a pal or neighbor to circulate with him? He might savour the corporate of somebody close to his age and that they might income from having somebody with a automobile. That way Dad heavily isn't on my own. Brothers won't be able to *****. Dad has independence and a pal.

Answer 4

Yes I have gone through this--lived at home and my dad passed away. I stayed with him. It is very hard to be totally independent and sane when they die. I had a really hard time. I went to college during this time and then afterwards, I continued to just take care of him and the home. He really had no one else to help him and I loved him and still do. He took care of me too, throughout my life, so I feel I did little in comparison to what he has done for me. Anyway I stayed and I miss him so much.

Answer 5

It sounds like you should move out and get your own life. Early to Mid-60's is still young...trust me. Most people are still working full time at their age.
Could it be they are getting just a little unmotivated to do things in their old age. They figure oh your there! You will do it for them.
It is time to ge your own life an move on!
Yeah and like the guy above me.....take em to the MD!
Can't hurt?!?!

Answer 6

Aging and some memory loss are common denominators but you should have your parents checked for signs of dementia or alzheimers.I do not mean to be an alarmist but my mom started out like that and now she is going to a nursing home soon.She has alzheimers.This does not mean your parents have alzheimers.I am not trying to panic you but they should be tested.The earlier it is caught the better.Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

Welcome to Life101. I was in the same position, but not living at home. A friend (nurse) informed me that "this time" was a gift. She was correct...big time. Bless each day you have both parents. Our parents decline as they age...it's a very painful fact. The tough part is for YOU to accept their decline with grace. They both need to be evaluated medically. You might try getting back to some of your own life activities.

Answer 8

You should have moved out a long time ago. You over stayed your welcome.

Your parents sound like really decent people that don't know how to tell you to leave.

Let them be. They're not setting the house on fire. I'm in my forties and don't remember things I used to. It happens to everyone. Why are you bothered so much?

Answer 9

buy a condo, but make sure it is close by. (like five minutes away) - so that you can stop by to see your parents often, or get to them quickly in a emergency. That's what I did. Seems to be working perfectly...

Answer 10

maybe it's time for them to go to a retirement home... im 15 and my parents are in there 50's so i see where your coming from, you love them so much nad they're teaching you new things, i hate to be so mean and rude to say that but it's what i think