he says he likes me and every now and then i believe him. but most of the time he doesnt even act like were dating. hes never had a real girl friend so i try to give him some slack. but he doesnt call me, he doesnt jump at any opotunities to sit beside me or to be close---its just like he basically doesnt know how to show affection and im an affectionate person. i dont want to freak him out but trying to get him to be affectionat back but i do want people to be able to tell were dating. i dont know what to do---any suggestions ??
2007-01-06 13:27:02 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im not trying to change him---i like him the way he is---i just want to know what i can do to make this an easier transition from friends to more than friends. for those wondering, we arent having sex, or any of that. we are only n our late teens, still in highschool. just trying to clarify.
2007-01-07 10:20:40 · update #1
If you two are very young, and it sounds as if you are, then chances are he just doesn't have a single clue what to do with you. Don't take it personally. This may sound like a silly question but here goes: Does he know he's your "boyfriend?" I mean, it sounds like you are in a relationship, but maybe he isn't. Ask yourself this--what was the conversation that led to his being your "boyfriend." If your answer is, "there was no conversation," that would go along way to solving the mystery of his behavior.
2007-01-06 13:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by rufus_rob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you two? If your both in your early teens, and this is the first time he's had a girlfriend, it's understandable that he would be too afraid to show affection to you. Especially in this society where no one really give guys a clue on how to date or act with women. If you guys are around your late teens or early twenties, he must be gay or something because he's a grownup who should know exactly when to come for the kiss, etc.
Just talk to him about it, make him feel at ease around you. Let him know that he's not going to offend you by touching you.
2007-01-06 13:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend may just be unable to show affection publicly, it's true - some men have a difficult time showing affection when other people are around because they are uncomfortable; they were taught not to show affection because it isn't appropriate. I suggest that you talk to him first and ease him into being more affectionate. Do not force, or nag him because it will cause issues and may make the situation worse.
2007-01-06 13:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this love, but it sounds to me like HE'S trying to make it appear that you guys are NOT dating. I'm not sure if I'm saying it right. Maybe he is on the unaffectionate side, but I don't think that's the problem. A question, are you guys having sex? I've had "bf's" in high school that acted EXACTLY like this, only to find out that I was just a booty call. You need to ask him straight out, " What going on with us" or"what are your feelings toward me?". For you own good, make sure you're not a booty call!! If so, bounce!!
2007-01-06 13:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by isis8x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care what kind of problems this person has, even if they are crazy and picking flowers off the wallpaper (extreme case example), if the person likes you, they are going to act affectionate towards you, call occasionally and talk to you. If he doesn't, unless your on a crusade to change him, which I guess you are, it's going to be you going after him, and it may be that way for a very long time until he gets used to you or he dumps you. My advice, stop talking to him and find someone else before your heart gets broken. He isn't worth your time or your effort.
2007-01-06 13:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As you're his first real g/f , he may be a scared to get too close as in event of you breaking up he'll hurt more - problem is though that in behaving like this would make you think that he's not about all he says. I did this once and ended up losing my g/f because of it - and it hurt just as much as if I'd been close to her *kicks self*
All I can suggest is to talk to him about it, but not in a confrontational manner. Hope that helps.
2007-01-06 13:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by Chay D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel cause my bf is the very same way and some times i just want to let go but my heart keeps me back i wish i knew what to say to you but if you want you could do what i do treat him the same way he does you then maybe you will see a change in him
2007-01-06 13:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this used to happen with a friend of mine. She liked someone and he knew that she liked him.He also liked her but he never showed it. This was going on and on for like half a year,she was so worried. Then she found out that he did that just to see if she really liked him or not or if she just liked him coz he's rich. So I guess you should try to understand him if he's not a person who knows how to show someone that he really loves her.
2007-01-06 13:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by Leepimm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same it depends how long u guys been together...just give him some time, be patient with him, try to take him out some and hold his hand, talk to him and tell him how much he means to you and tell him you need him to show his feelings towards you
2007-01-06 13:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by vickie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like you said before he has never had a real girlfriend so he probably doesnt know how to act. give it some time but if that doesnt work, try and talk to him and see what is going on in his head
2007-01-06 13:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by queenz_killarep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋