Why has God let me down?

Question

I worked hard for a living and provided for my family, put food on the table and I thought I was a good husband and then my wife has an affair, what did I do to deserve that when I pray before eating my meals and always doing good deeds to help people. I feel like God has let me down.

I did not expect the huge response to my question, but I thank you all for the input, I have realized that it is not God it was my wife that let me down. I have forgiven her and she is welcomed back right...wrong, I think God has known I am not that happy so no is my chance to move on.

Answer 1

It's you wife, not God.

Answer 2

I know it hurts, but you must remember, that God knows what's best for us, and he can see dangers and disappointments long before they happen. You may never know why God allows certain things, or closes certain doors. However, it's important to trust him, and to always put him FIRST in our lives, before spouses, parents, even children. Who knows the troubles you may have experienced had you not found out about this?

I had more to say, but you mentioned that you now understand God was not the cause, so I'll just end by saying, remember that God generously blessed Job after his losses, and never forget that testing makes you stronger. If you remain true and faithful to God, who knows, your example may change your wife, and she could return a new woman with a new heart.

If not, there will be a new wife waiting if it is God's will. Also, "scheduled" prayers, and good deeds are a good thing, but it is about our relationship with God, and our hearts. God must always come first.

Answer 3

First, i want to try and convnce you that neither God or your wife let you down. Nor did YOU let yourself or your wife down.

Another person made the comment that your wife was probably not happy. I go with that, but it doesnt make it your fault.
If you can, how about asking her if that was the case, and if so, what was your part in that? Did you fulfil her needs as she had hoped? Maybe she just had unrealistic needs, that no-one can fulfil. Those she has to deal with that herself, hopefully with help of others who care.

Now, Why would God want or expect you to provide for your family and be a good husband? How can any human presume to know God's preferences or favoritisms? In the old testement, God [ok, the judeo-christian (+muslim) one] seemed to have a prediliction to favor his chosen people ravaging and pilaging the promised land in the near-east. Shouldnt we all favor that, like George Bush does?? My point is - why should God [if existing..] care about YOUR whims and happiness. Why should God keep your happiness above others? Because you prayed? Why would he favor that tactic above someone being generous, noble, brave, or accepting loss as an integral part of life?, Ups as well as downs exist.

God has not let you down, but your lack of communication and strenth of relationship with you wife did. Maybe no-ones fault, maybe just temptation. Not the devils work either, as why would he want anyone to gain happiness even at the expense of others?

Simply, my opinion is that God had no role in this, nor any other aspect of your/our lives.

I close with reply to this comment -
"This is to test your faith. Go to your wife, ask her what you have done wrong, reinvigorate your life with the lord's help."

The only part of this i agree with is "go to your wife".
You might find that in her opinion you have done nothing wrong, and should not feel blamed. Your faith should be tested as you have the mental capacity to think about why you believe in something supernatural.
Your life will be reinvigorated by asking questions about your life, and trying to change things so both you and those you care about are content and happy. Joy does need to come from prayer and God but from you understanding yourself and others you care for.

Love and hugs
nina

Answer 4

“Let your manner of living be without selfish desire; and be content with such things that you have: for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Hebrews.13:5) “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord.” (Job.1:21) “My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (II Corinthians.12:9) After Jesus said this, the apostle Paul said, Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in insults and disgrace, in necessities, in mistreatments, in distresses ofr Christ´s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. All things that come upon us are for the trial of our faith; it is a trial, a test of our reliance on God and His Word, and reliability to God and His Word. Therefore what seems to be a let down is not, but rather is for our benefit, although at the time we may feel God is unfair, or has forgotten us; He has not. We must think on the other hand, that if everything were comfortable and convenient and enjoyable, we would not even think of God: faith is active by our daily life´s journey.

Answer 5

If you have unresolved and painful issues that are troubling you, it may seem that God has turned his back on you. Just remember, that God has also provided you with a solution to your problem. You must open your heart to forgiveness, both for yourself, and your wife that has hurt you deeply. You have to put misery behind you. I feel your pain. I can tell you that unless you free yourself from this burden, you may always feel the way you do. If you feel that the sunshine in life has gone away, know that it can come back again. Good luck.

Answer 6

I'm not Christian, but I don't like to see people's faith suffer over things like this. Things happen. God didn't promise anything more to some than he did to other. Millions of people die before their time in this world every day, Christians included. Everyone is in the same boat.
I believe in a higher power, but I know that I also have to look out for myself. What's the point of living if everything is supposed to go your way?

Answer 7

I'm so sorry for what your going through. I have also gone through the same thing.

It's not you. Your wife is the one who cheated.

The Book of Hosea might help you out. It's a wonderful book.

Hosea's Wife and Children
2 When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD." 3 So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.

Answer 8

Dear God didn't let you down, your wife did. She had free will and chose to be bad. God can give you a better life without her.

Answer 9

This is not heaven. There's all types of earthly circumstances to deal with. That sucks, what happened in your life. Here on earth, things work on a less moral way than a pure heaven.

Answer 10

ok for one im truly sorry about your wife. and two it isnt Gods fault that bad things happen its just life and your wife made a big mistake and she should of realized what she was doing and she should of realized she disobeyed one of the ten commandments "shall not commit adultery". It isnt Gods fault bad things happen its just life. bad things happen to everyone.

Answer 11

I can relate to your experience. However, God did not let you down. Your wife did. Just as mine did me. Just continue your relationship with God. Just because marriage vows are taken in a church, doest mean, they are horror by God, or that she was your gift from God.