what should i do about being so ugly?

Question

my father is a plastic surgeon and i live in an area that is very superficial... so i have grown up around a looks obsessed culture.

However, I am objectively unattractive. I know this from a number of data sources. I am a research assistant and inserted my face in some other researchers' studies of facial attractiveness (some are published in j ev bio). The researchers didn't intend for me to see how i rated, but I analyzed the data and I was significantly below the mean (1 or 2 standard deviations) of 25 photos. (the study asked a lot more than hot or not... but that was the question i looked at)

Anyway, I have been rejected by so many guys over the last 10 years.... some guys dont even "finish" when im with them and ive told girls this who think that is insane and never heard of such a thing. They just say they are tired after realizing that it's not going to work.

Anyway, my dad's partner did some work on me a few yrs ago but now wont do more.... i cant take this.

fajita - Read the question. my face was rated by 120 people in a psychology experiment. 2 standard deviations below the mean is the bottom 6% of attractiveness. It's not in my head.

granny - i did go to my dad. several years ago his partner gave me a nose job. my dad wont work on me... naturally. he also wont discuss it anymore and can't see reality clearly when it comes to me. his specialty is body procedures and not face anyway. all the surgeons around here know him and wont touch me cuz of that.

Answer 1

in relationships and on dates looks aren't everything I know some 'very unattractive looking women'(significantly below average when compared to Hollywood) who are in happy long term relationships with relatively attractive men. these women know that they aren't beauty queens or anywhere close but they have fun loving bubbly personalities and try not to dwell on their shortcomings too much. you say you have already had surgery to try and improve your looks perhaps now you need therapy to try and improve your attitude towards your looks if you are being too self conscious about your body men may be put off more by your attitude than your looks.

Answer 2

oh hun, everyone feels that they arn't pretty sometimes. Besides, you live in a very looks-obsessed place and if your picture was placed beside 120 unnaturally gorgeous girls then of corse you won't rate as high as you would have liked too. If your picture had been placed beside people less attractive then you would have rated higher. All in all though, beauty fades and it's your personality that counts in the end. You'll find a guy who thinks your extremely pretty eventually so don't worry. If you want to change your looks then get a haircut, some highlights, buy some new clothes...get your makeup done by a proffessional and get some tips, you can look pretty without having surgury

Answer 3

Honey no paper or computer or whatever can tell you what your ratio is thats crazy.If all woman did that we'd all be single.It starts first of how you feel about yourself.You have to look at yourself with a different set of eyes.1st. move from where you are.those people are superficial and the divorce rate must be high! Work on what makes you happy and you will shine in and out God doesn't make ugly people,people make ugly people.I mean were so judgemental on what is beautiful and we need to look at what makes us great.Tell yourself everyday even if you don't mean it that you love you.And say I believe in me and no matter what I'm gonna have a great day.Stupid not really it's a therapy lesson that got me out of my hole from never loving myself.It takes time and effort on your part but aren't you worth it I say yes.Pray and you can leave the rest to God.I wouldn't lie to you,you will go on and you will be a better person if you listen to me but don't stay on the road you've been on it's only gonna lead you to more unhappiness and who else knows suicide?Don't let that happen to you!You asked for help take it and run and never look back at the old unhappy ways again.God bless you in your newyear this is pookie look me up if you need help.

Answer 4

Plastic surgery is not the answer - if you hav e had work done before and are still not happy then I don't see how further plastic surgery can help.

I am notthe archetypal beauty myself - I am pale with very dark hair so was born an unintended goth so I know where you are coming from because I feel inconfident sometimes too! My way of dealing with it has been to be myself, finding my own style and look which suits me best and also something which is individual to yourself.Being different is unique - you don't want to fade into the whitewash of airbrushed blondes!

I am sure you are not ugly at all - if we all stare at ourselves in the mirror, we find 1001 faults but people don't analyse us like we analyse ourselves!

In addition, there are always men who will like you - different men have differest tastes in women so don't rely on a scientific format. Anjelica Houston is different looking and she's never had any problems.

There was an article in an english newspaper by a psychologist into positives and negatives in relationships and one factor which men hated apparently was that women had plastic surgery - apparently,men think that if women have plastic surgery, their outer self is a lie therefore the inner self must be. Well that's a psychologist I'm not sure if it is true.

Hope this helps

Answer 5

well, ugly isnt set in stone first off... a persons definition of ugly varies. like, some people think pamela anderson is hot......... i personally think she is "ugly" and cant stand her..... lol. but, the way you are right now, i know there is somewhere out there that is attractive to you and attracted to you..... and, if you live in a superficial area, maybe thats just not you, so when you can, move away.... but, if you like that area, and you dont like the way you look, i dont think plastic surgery is the right thing to do. however, i aint saying its the wrong thing to do, lol. if you wanna do, its fine if its what you really want... i will have to say tho that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may just be where you live, ya know? and, if you go back to plastic surgery, make sure its what you want really bad.... in the words of song by taking back sunday, "make damn sure" lol. im sorry, i just had to put that in there. ;)

but, if your face isnt the greatest, its not the end of the worl.... work on your body in that case... cause, if a woman has a not so hot face, but she has atleast a decent body, it will attract more men to atleast take a second date or something and get to know the woman. then, if he likes you, you will become more attractive in his eyes.... and, i know this from experience... im not saying my gf is bad looking, but on a honest scale of one to ten, shes maybe around a 6... sort of the middle, nothing special.... yet, to me, shes the most beautiful thing, because i am physically attracted to her (she has a nice body btw... sort of tiny butt tho.... :/ lol. ) but i got to know her and she became more attractive. she also has issues with her face. so, just stay in shape and try to keep some sort of a figure, and you should be ok. if not, then i guess if you really want to, try to look into plastic surgery methods with another doctor or something. but, i suggest getting into shape if you arent, and if you are, keep toning up your body. plus, this will prolly give you more confidence too, which is also probably what you need. and, if your face isnt "hot" its not the end of the world..... just make your body hot ;). and, im not saying to wear anything slutty, but, with a good body, there are things you can wear that will exagerate the good things. like, on opra, there was an episode where is showed women how to find the right pair of jeans for their butts and the right bra size for them...... that kind of thing may always help you out too.... and, yeh, im a guy and i watched that opra episode, but it was cause of my gf......... lol

Answer 6

First off, try and clear your mind of what beauty is. If you have never seen the Dove short film, go to youtube and check it out. While most of North American society focuses on beauty and that is the most important thing to them, not everyone does.

There is somebody out there for everyone.

Confidence is a huge thing, do things that make you feel good about yourself, find people who are more than about looks, and reject the BS we are fed through media.

We are all born a certain way, uniqueness is the greatest thing we can have in life. Don't live for others, but just for yourself and never sell yourself short.

Answer 7

You really shouldn't put yourself down like this. Not all people are beautiful, ya know? Heck, I have to say myself that my looks are not exactly above average. You're probably not even ugly. It's just that you live in such an area that is based on looks that practically everyone HAVE to be above average that it's not 'normal' to be under 'average'. Anyways, if these guys you went out with left ya just because they thought you were 'ugly' then they are nothing but arrogant, stupid SOBs. It's moronic [if that's a word]. If you seriously think that you want to look better, do so by normal means: cleanser, toner, moisturizer, masks, blah. I'm not trying to be cruel or anything but maybe it's best to simply be yourself. Perfection is nothing but a shadow on this earth anyways.

Answer 8

Something just doesn't add up here. If you are truly unattractive, then why isn't your first inclination to go to your father ..........the Plastic Surgeon? You sound extremely intelligent, but the question just doesn't add up.............

I was always told "PRETTY IS, AS PRETTY DOES" If you aren't working on the inside first maybe that is why you don't feel it on the outside.

Answer 9

aww...i understand your situation...i do not know you but im sure that you still have a physical beauty..i used to believ im ugly but now..when i started to dress up, go to the salon, dress up according to my size and shape, people noticed that i am pretty...

find you angle wherein you look attractive..coz im sure there is..every people have ugliness and beauty ;)

a very pretty celeb can look ordinary and ugly if she do not take good care of herself ;)

oh! this is my secret! i always drink hot milk before i sleep every night...this will moisture your skin..and will make you blooming..

try it..it might help you as well :)

Answer 10

You realize that anyone who is outgoing, social, and fun to be around will find out that personality can counterbalance most shortcommings in looks.

Projecting self-confidence & acting comfortable in your own skin is sexy too.

I'm not lying. Personality does count for almost as much as looks.